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Assassin's Creed Shadows: we wuz samurai n shiet

No RPG elements? It probably goes here!
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Post by Manny V »

TKVNC wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:44
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:29
rusty_shackleford wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:21
Going to go out on a limb and guess weebs don't actually want historically accurate samurais.
Unironically true.

The actual historically accurate samurai were elitist chumps who were in fact so incompetent in warfare - the one thing that they were supposed to be good at - that regular peasants were able to beat them with farming tools. That's why they began to make up ******** stories about how these ninjas had "magical powers" that their sorry asses couldn't counter.

So now we have folk stories about "ninjutsu" that inspired plenty of manga/anime to this day, because historical samurai were ********. kek
They also got BTFO'd by bald men with guns.
bald chads stay winning
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Post by pillbox »

Oyster Sauce wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:08
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:06
pillbox wrote: March 19th, 2025, 21:52


They hired a George Floyd look-a-like for this. It had to be intentional.
This game was greenlighted in 2020 during the height of the Monkey Lives Matter grift, of course it was 100% intentional.
It's fake :turtle:
Too late. It already further negatively influenced my opinion on the game.
Last edited by pillbox on March 20th, 2025, 02:00, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by maidenhaver »

TKVNC wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:44
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:29
rusty_shackleford wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:21
Going to go out on a limb and guess weebs don't actually want historically accurate samurais.
Unironically true.

The actual historically accurate samurai were elitist chumps who were in fact so incompetent in warfare - the one thing that they were supposed to be good at - that regular peasants were able to beat them with farming tools. That's why they began to make up ******** stories about how these ninjas had "magical powers" that their sorry asses couldn't counter.

So now we have folk stories about "ninjutsu" that inspired plenty of manga/anime to this day, because historical samurai were ********. kek
They also got BTFO'd by bald men with guns.
Samurai loved guns.
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Post by maidenhaver »

UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:29
rusty_shackleford wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:21
Going to go out on a limb and guess weebs don't actually want historically accurate samurais.
Unironically true.

The actual historically accurate samurai were elitist chumps who were in fact so incompetent in warfare - the one thing that they were supposed to be good at - that regular peasants were able to beat them with farming tools. That's why they began to make up ******** stories about how these ninjas had "magical powers" that their sorry asses couldn't counter.

So now we have folk stories about "ninjutsu" that inspired plenty of manga/anime to this day, because historical samurai were ********. kek
Regular chumps with pointy sticks beating elites has been a theme in the West since the 1300s.



You won't hear how ******** knights and chivalry are from tradlarps
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Post by Irenaeus »

maidenhaver wrote: March 20th, 2025, 01:17
Samurai loved guns.


The sword is mightier than the penis gun.

Err: spoilers
Last edited by Irenaeus on March 20th, 2025, 02:11, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by WaterMage »

rusty_shackleford wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:21
historically accurate samurais.
Would be cool. One Portuguese Vessel VS a fleet of 33 Japanese Vessel. 40 Portuguese VS 3000 Samurai. ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nossa_Sen ... a_incident ). Or like Battle of Fukuda Bay( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Fukuda_Bay ). Portuguese had one Galleon. One Carrack. 80 Crewman. Japanese had a fleet of 10 Junk, 60 smaller boats and over 700 Samurai. Resulted in Portuguese victory. With mere 8 casualties. It reminds me of this last samurai movie

Last edited by WaterMage on March 20th, 2025, 02:31, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by ThulsaDoomer »

maidenhaver wrote: March 20th, 2025, 01:30
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:29
rusty_shackleford wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:21
Going to go out on a limb and guess weebs don't actually want historically accurate samurais.
Unironically true.

The actual historically accurate samurai were elitist chumps who were in fact so incompetent in warfare - the one thing that they were supposed to be good at - that regular peasants were able to beat them with farming tools. That's why they began to make up ******** stories about how these ninjas had "magical powers" that their sorry asses couldn't counter.

So now we have folk stories about "ninjutsu" that inspired plenty of manga/anime to this day, because historical samurai were ********. kek
Regular chumps with pointy sticks beating elites has been a theme in the West since the 1300s.



You won't hear how ******** knights and chivalry are from tradlarps
Good video, but those were well equipped and trained chumps from a wealthy state and aided by an advantage in terrain and the French army's arrogance. Also, this was during an era where a shift of power was emerging with the traditional Monarchs losing influence and wealth to Guilds and Bankers. I agree people glaze the Samurai far too much, but the European Knights were a legitimate force to be reckoned with. There is no comparison to make, however, as Europe wasn't an isolated island nation and also had access to better materials and resources than the Japanese ever did.
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Post by Unhelpful Contrarian »

When you **** the asian chick and leave her for crack money.
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Post by maidenhaver »

ThulsaDoomer wrote: March 20th, 2025, 02:33
maidenhaver wrote: March 20th, 2025, 01:30
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:29


Unironically true.

The actual historically accurate samurai were elitist chumps who were in fact so incompetent in warfare - the one thing that they were supposed to be good at - that regular peasants were able to beat them with farming tools. That's why they began to make up ******** stories about how these ninjas had "magical powers" that their sorry asses couldn't counter.

So now we have folk stories about "ninjutsu" that inspired plenty of manga/anime to this day, because historical samurai were ********. kek
Regular chumps with pointy sticks beating elites has been a theme in the West since the 1300s.



You won't hear how ******** knights and chivalry are from tradlarps
Good video, but those were well equipped and trained chumps from a wealthy state and aided by an advantage in terrain and the French army's arrogance. Also, this was during an era where a shift of power was emerging with the traditional Monarchs losing influence and wealth to Guilds and Bankers. I agree people glaze the Samurai far too much, but the European Knights were a legitimate force to be reckoned with. There is no comparison to make, however, as Europe wasn't an isolated island nation and also had access to better materials and resources than the Japanese ever did.
Monarchies were rising in the 1300s thanks to Banking, Guilds, and the urban clerical class that supported their states. The kings that prececeed them were anything but monarchs. The point is elites lose to chumps, wherever you look. Am I supposed to believe samurai were stupid because they lost to peasants in 50 battles, or were the samurai who lost made stupid by arrogance? Does there need to be a thread dedicated to all the battles where elites that tradcathcrusader99 fawns over lose to chumps or sandniggers?
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Post by ThulsaDoomer »

maidenhaver wrote: March 20th, 2025, 03:09
Monarchies were rising in the 1300s thanks to Banking, Guilds, and the urban clerical class that supported their states. The kings that prececeed them were anything but monarchs. The point is elites lose to chumps, wherever you look. Am I supposed to believe samurai were stupid because they lost to peasants in 50 battles, or were the samurai who lost made stupid by arrogance? Does there need to be a thread dedicated to all the battles where elites that tradcathcrusader99 fawns over lose to chumps or sandniggers?
I don't wanna derail this thread but "elites lose to chumps, wherever you look" is how a toddler would view the history of warfare. There are many examples where chumps did indeed lose, quite horrifically, to the "elites". And many where they didn't. I have no idea what your point actually means in this context. Let us just agree the Samurai were gay and ******** since I doubt this will go anywhere.
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Post by Irenaeus »

Unhelpful Contrarian wrote: March 20th, 2025, 02:35
When you **** the asian chick and leave her for crack money.

Image
Why is his head enormous LMAO
Or are his shoulders as narrow as a child?
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Post by Irenaeus »

ThulsaDoomer wrote: March 20th, 2025, 03:30
maidenhaver wrote: March 20th, 2025, 03:09
Monarchies were rising in the 1300s thanks to Banking, Guilds, and the urban clerical class that supported their states. The kings that prececeed them were anything but monarchs. The point is elites lose to chumps, wherever you look. Am I supposed to believe samurai were stupid because they lost to peasants in 50 battles, or were the samurai who lost made stupid by arrogance? Does there need to be a thread dedicated to all the battles where elites that tradcathcrusader99 fawns over lose to chumps or sandniggers?
I don't wanna derail this thread but "elites lose to chumps, wherever you look" is how a toddler would view the history of warfare.
A toddler... or a JEW?
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Post by UltraFan123 »

Irenaeus wrote: March 20th, 2025, 03:39
Unhelpful Contrarian wrote: March 20th, 2025, 02:35
When you **** the asian chick and leave her for crack money.

Image
Why is his head enormous LMAO
Or are his shoulders as narrow as a child?
Reminds me of how Veilguard actively infantilized the character designs by making the heads and limbs bigger while the torso was shrinked.

Either case, it's quite creepy how modern devs are obsessed with making "hyper realistic graphics" while at the same time making characters look as cartoonish as possible.
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Post by traxtan »

I've played most of the assassin's creed games (never paid for any of them) but I've never finished any of them in my life, this franchise was never good.
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Post by gerey »

Unhelpful Contrarian wrote: March 20th, 2025, 02:35
When you **** the asian chick and leave her for crack money.
When you **** your Asian baby momma and then leave her for your they/them twink.
traxtan wrote: March 20th, 2025, 06:14
this franchise was never good
I only ever played 1, 2, Black Flag and Rogue.

I remember playing the second one, and while I did like the premise - medieval Italian Batman avenging the deaths of your family - the execution was severely underwhelming. Every aspect of the gameplay was shallow and underutilized. Social stealth (or stealth in general)? Completely pointless, you can carry so many health potions that getting killed by enemies is practically impossible, and every fight can be won by countering the enemy. Your mansion that you get to upgrade? There's no special missions tied to the upgrades, nor does upgrading it end up with something unique, it's just there to be a money sink.

By the time I got to the ending, which involved having a boxing match with the pope, followed by talking to aliens, I knew the whole franchise was ******. I'm still sad they lumped the pirate game Black Flag was supposed to be into the AssCreed franchise by grafting AC mechanics and plot onto it like a malignant tumor.

I think the only title after Black Flag that even remotely caught my interest was Rogue, but even that one was undercooked, and the writing was somehow worse than other AC games.
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Post by Finarfin »

Gotta say I have never seen a people more buck-broken by a game than the Japanese. How about you care about your dwindling population instead of whining on national TV about a videogame? Oh right, they don't care, they will just import more kurds and indians while putting on the "Based Slant-Eye being against the wOkE mInD vIrUs" mask while the women probably get raped by Achmet, Muhamed and Dikshit.
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Finarfin wrote: March 20th, 2025, 11:39
Gotta say I have never seen a people more buck-broken by a game than the Japanese. How about you care about your dwindling population instead of whining on national TV about a videogame? Oh right, they don't care, they will just import more kurds and indians while putting on the "Based Slant-Eye being against the wOkE mInD vIrUs" mask while the women probably get raped by Achmet, Muhamed and Dikshit.
You know you don't HAVE to play the gay sex ****** ****** propaganda game, right?
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Post by Lich »

Oyster Sauce wrote: March 20th, 2025, 12:04
How about you care about your dwindling population instead of whining on national TV about a videogame?
You can do both
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Weebs are completely buckbroken, they're never going to recover from big Yasuke.
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Hillary Clinton tier

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Post by 1998 »

UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 20:04
Jordy wrote: March 19th, 2025, 20:02
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 20:00
I honestly only want to see how are the sales of this game going to compare to that of Yasuke Simulator.

Yeah I'm aware that both are uninspired slop but at least Yasuke Simulator is unapologetic with its status as a ****-game.
The reviews score it as a perfect flawless game (despite listing all the flaws in the review). This game will break records.
Well if I recall correctly Dilatation Age Failguard also had super perfect media scores for being "return to form" and yet it still flopped, so idk.

I will still wait and see.
They are both not that high, for journo standards at least. But indeed extremely similar.

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Post by rusty_shackleford »

As we all know, Japan has only shown the utmost respect when depicting foreign cultures, especially religion.

Hold on, I'm being handed a picture of the average catholic nun depiction in anime...
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Post by 1998 »

At least the gameplay seems great :salute:

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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Yeah I'm thinkin this is, as the kids say, kino
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Post by Finarfin »

Lich wrote: March 20th, 2025, 12:05
Oyster Sauce wrote: March 20th, 2025, 12:04
How about you care about your dwindling population instead of whining on national TV about a videogame?
You can do both
I think if your country got to the point where the population is dwindling, fewer and fewer young people are around and old people are the majority, you as a politician should not be crying on live tv about a videogame that will ultimately not affect you or your country in any major way I'd say no, you cannot do both. But seeing how the japanese are about work and "fitting in" they'll be bowing down into their graves.
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Post by Finarfin »

Oyster Sauce wrote: March 20th, 2025, 12:04
Finarfin wrote: March 20th, 2025, 11:39
Gotta say I have never seen a people more buck-broken by a game than the Japanese. How about you care about your dwindling population instead of whining on national TV about a videogame? Oh right, they don't care, they will just import more kurds and indians while putting on the "Based Slant-Eye being against the wOkE mInD vIrUs" mask while the women probably get raped by Achmet, Muhamed and Dikshit.
You know you don't HAVE to play the gay sex ****** ****** propaganda game, right?
So far it is standard assassins creed. Runs well (not a fan of the 30 fps limited cutscenes but that is something mods will fix)
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

"I am OFFENDED on behalf of these specific brown people who I must defend!! You can NOT portray their culture like that!!!!!"

Weebs are just sjws for japs instead of ******* & abbos
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Post by Brugmans »

maidenhaver wrote: March 20th, 2025, 01:30
UltraFan123 wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:29
rusty_shackleford wrote: March 19th, 2025, 22:21
Going to go out on a limb and guess weebs don't actually want historically accurate samurais.
Unironically true.

The actual historically accurate samurai were elitist chumps who were in fact so incompetent in warfare - the one thing that they were supposed to be good at - that regular peasants were able to beat them with farming tools. That's why they began to make up ******** stories about how these ninjas had "magical powers" that their sorry asses couldn't counter.

So now we have folk stories about "ninjutsu" that inspired plenty of manga/anime to this day, because historical samurai were ********. kek
Regular chumps with pointy sticks beating elites has been a theme in the West since the 1300s.



You won't hear how ******** knights and chivalry are from tradlarps
It's curious how the evil knights always get slaughtered in an epic battle against the peasants/yeomen/burghers/leftist self-insert faction, then after the pop-history Youtube video ends, they somehow win the war and stay in power.

**** systemic racism keeping the black-headed peasants down.
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

rusty_shackleford wrote: March 20th, 2025, 12:45
"I am OFFENDED on behalf of these specific brown people who I must defend!! You can NOT portray their culture like that!!!!!"

Weebs are just sjws for japs instead of ******* & abbos
you post this every 4 hours
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Oyster Sauce wrote: March 20th, 2025, 13:27
rusty_shackleford wrote: March 20th, 2025, 12:45
"I am OFFENDED on behalf of these specific brown people who I must defend!! You can NOT portray their culture like that!!!!!"

Weebs are just sjws for japs instead of ******* & abbos
you post this every 4 hours
weebmad
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