the ****... where am I? Who is this ******? Julia!?!?
Stand up... there you go. You were dreaming. What's your name?
I don't even know my name! I just remember Julia's...
(you're pathetic...)
LIsten. You're boot. And it's your fault we're here.
The **** did I do man... Oh... It's coming back to me.
Uh huh.
You're that ******* ATF **** that tried to bust me for selling cigarettes on 9th avenue. Outta nowhere you start beating my ***...
No, that wasn't me. That was CSM.
That was for that thing you did. You know what I'm talking about.
You're the dirtiest cop around **** you too, **** both of you, if it weren't for that fella over there I'd probably be dead. Police brutality, every time I get involved with you animals.
It's true. Your wounds were severe. CSM did quite a number on you, and I was myself brought in for interfering with an arrest. The Lord's servants will always be persecuted, though, so I pay it no mind. We were both brought in to the local precinct, you, on several charges apparently... And that's when things got strange. The cops themselves began fighting, and weapons were even drawn, I believe it had something to do with this fellow, here, Acrux, I believe.
Yeah, Acrux, with IA. Rusty knows me. I was after CSM but it turned out he had a lot more pull then I thought, didn't expect things to go down the way they did. (the ranger returns to brooding in his chair)
Listen, enough of your ****, boot, we gotta pull together. I'll put it down plainly for you stupid mutt. You were busted for multiple offenses, I was from out of town and got roped into this mess because you were selling a shitload of tobacco somehow (still haven't figured that out...). CSM assisted in the arrest. Acrux goes in to bust CSM while you're in custody because he's got his fingers in a few rackets, and you slip the ******* handcuffs like the stupid monkey that you are and all hell breaks loose. The 5 of us were due to be jailed and made examples of.
And I got it all swept under the rug.
And who's this clown?
1998, he got our paperwork fudged, got us on a transport to this shithole, which is better than jail I guess... Think he's some kind of clerk, not sure.
You don't need to know how I did it, but, say, I was in the position to help, and I usually try to do the right thing. That's all. Now, in the land we are in now, we had best provision ourselves appropriately. May I suggest we purchase arms? We may need them. These are dark times.
Ok uh... Hrothgar. You can kindly get the **** out. Now, weapons, you say?
Eh, not exactly a gun store, but let's see what we can do.
Ok uh... Pomab. Let's see the goods. Enough of this chit-chat. I don't feel like myself if I'm not carrying.
As CSM negotiates with the uppity merchant, boot creeps upstairs.
The party needs more money to outfit themselves properly, and the merchant doesn't notice when we sell his belongings right back to him.
The band of adventurers exits the store with a new swing in their step, the snow crunching crisply underfoot, the sky clear. boot thinks he hears a song begin to play...
but he's a ******, no one listens to him. So he keeps it to himself.
bros... Do you think we'll...
hmmm? What is it?
(the ranger turns his head slightly to one side, lending his ear) ... yeah?
(...)
just ignore him he's not even white.
No. I want to hear this.
I just get this feeling... what's coming is big? We're getting into something really big here. That's all.
The group ponders this for a moment. The group being...
@1998 ► Show Spoiler
never played with a sorcerer, but I think I'll like it better than mage.
this ******
► Show Spoiler
we went f/m/t rather than my preferred class of f/t because we had no party mage and all the scrolls were gonna go unused. boot here will be a late bloomer, leveling very, very, slowly. But what's done is done.
► Show Spoiler
Acrux went for the archer kit, which is strong, but not broken. As a good Christian his racial enemy is Nephilim aka Giants, and he will likely serve as the party scout until boot gets his **** together, as he is already restricted to leather armor. He dual wields katanas when pressed into close quarters, suggesting he has watched anime. Also, went Human rather than Elf, because being white> +2 THAC0
► Show Spoiler
WhiteShark is a basic fighter, atm, but has plans to class change to Cleric once he hits level 3. By my math he should achieve grandmastery in maces at level 8 Cleric, and will be no slouch in melee. The moral guide of the group, we will depend on his wisdom as we brave the cold, and the darkness. Really think we need more heals but we're gonna see how it plays out. Again, what's done is done.
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CSM went blackguard, being a more pragmatic kinda guy. Not really sure if blackguard is a very strong kit tbh, but he gives the group some edge, and will be the parties face, most of the time. Going Axes and Flails, and will likely also carry a two-hander of some sort.
► Show Spoiler
Rusty goes classic paladin, being a law abiding American patriot. We will miss having a pure fighter, for the additional damage output, but at higher levels Rusty should be able to cast some decent cleric spells, and he can also wield a Holy Avenger. He goes Longswords, and I think Warhammers and Longbow. I forgot. Tbh
I didn't spend too long rolling anyone's stats, but I did, in my haste, pass up a monster roll on either CSM or Rusty. It was like a 97? Oh well.
I'm serious guys!
I believe you.
So do I... I think...
I wouldn't worry about it. Carry on, as best you can. No jew pills in these lands to calm your monkey *** down, so try and hang in there.
Well, let's see what there is to do around here.
CSM just sneers.
We aid a man who has been afflicted with sleeplessness and strange dreams. It turns out it was some sea nymph or something, a friendly one. We resolve the issue benevolently.
I know you guys didn't get a chance to meet her, but she had a great pair of hooters! Nice butt, too!
We dispatch our first foe! The kill goes to Acrux. It was a wolf, and dies near instantly.
My arrows are true.
then the party stumbles into the home of Hrothgar, the ***** who accosted us at the tavern we found ourselves in. Apparently he wants us to find some missing caravan. We're penniless in a strange land, and this is the closest thing to a job we can get, so we take him up on his offer.
Is that what we're doing?
Yes. I wrote it down in my journal.
I tried digging through his belongings for more loot but couldn't get past the locks. (boot dumped all his points into trap finding/disarming)
You'll get there kid. Anyway, let's head out. I'm on point.
Outside the village, we are beset by a pack of goblins, and CSM takes a scratch.
We rethink our plans and double back to the local temple, and after selling off some collected odds and ends we pick up a decent stack of healing pots. Without a healer, we're gonna need 'em, it looks like. The party hits it off with the Cleric leading the temple, a retired battle priest of Tempus named Ererard. Everyone is in agreement: He is based beyond measure.
