Games that don't hold up

[Humbaba]

Big one for me is HoMM3. Used to play it all the time as a kid, not that I was any good at it (I only played necropolis). Replaying it these days makes it very clear that the game is horrifically unbalanced and the AI is quite exploitable.

Anudda one is Jazz Jackrabbit 2. The physics are all fucked (the run button just accelerates you even in mid air) and the constant button mashing hurts my fingers.

Dungeon Keeper is extremely boring and focuses way too much on the half baked rts aspect of it instead of base building. Being up against other dungeon keepers as opposed to enemy heroes most of the time also really undercuts the theme.

Basically any DOS era rpg.

[Atlantico]

The first one that I think of the Secret of Monkey Island. Oh how I loved it as a kid, and laughed until I had tears running down my face. Replaying it these days is disheartening, because it really wasn't very good, it was just subversive and I was a moron as a kid.

Well most kids are morons. What I was laughing at and thought was so incredibly funny and cool about the game when I was a kid was little more than the tantrum of the soyboy Ron Gilbert who wrote the game, "deconstructing" other games and "subverting your expectations", presenting every single white male as a dumb, drooling idiot and all women as "strong independent women who don't need no man, let alone a man to save them".

This modern SJW bullshit we have to deal with every day now, was on full display in the Secret of Monkey Island sugar coated with fantastic music and graphics — two more things Ron Gilbert hasn't got a clue about (see: nu-Monkey Island game and penisnose Threepwood)

Not only does the game not hold up, it is not a good game. It is stupidly simple, short and let's face it; unfunny. "Remember when Guybrush went to find the Swordmaster and it turned out to be a strong independent woman of color who didn't need no man?" LMAO so funny!! Soy me more Ron Gilbert you degenerate fuck!

[1998]

Last time I played HoMM3 was probably about 6-7 years ago. Back then to me it was still great. There are actually very few games I liked as a kid, and cant really enjoy now. One of them is PS:T. I guess I just don't have the patience anymore to read through walls of text. I have tried to play through it twice over the past 4 years, no success. I got a little closer on the second try, but basically gave up halfway through.

[Segata]

Your momma

[rusty_shackleford]

Nearly any non-console game from before 1990. Adventure games partly excepted when not using moon logic.
Lack of any coherent understanding of UX outside of enforced console norms e.g., Nintendo's Seal of Quality, which came into existence for a reason.

[Tweed]

Nearly any non-console game from before 1990. Adventure games partly excepted when not using moon logic.
Lack of any coherent understanding of UX outside of enforced console norms e.g., Nintendo's Seal of Quality, which came into existence for a reason.

https://www.mobygames.com/game/21193/super-pitfall/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/10283/ba ... he-future/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/12812/wheres-waldo/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/11935/the-uncanny-x-men/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/23752/barbie/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/22587/dragons-lair/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/45588/total-recall/

I sure am glad these games come with the Nintendo Seal of Quality so I know that they're excellent games.

[rusty_shackleford]

Nearly any non-console game from before 1990. Adventure games partly excepted when not using moon logic.
Lack of any coherent understanding of UX outside of enforced console norms e.g., Nintendo's Seal of Quality, which came into existence for a reason.

https://www.mobygames.com/game/21193/super-pitfall/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/10283/ba ... he-future/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/12812/wheres-waldo/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/11935/the-uncanny-x-men/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/23752/barbie/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/22587/dragons-lair/
https://www.mobygames.com/game/45588/total-recall/

I sure am glad these games come with the Nintendo Seal of Quality so I know that they're excellent games.

I didn't say they're all good.

[Sweeper]

HoMM3

Fuck you.

[rusty_shackleford]

I ever tell you guys about the german government program to get slavs hooked on games through giving them out for free via magazines?
Same reason slavs love gothic.

[Dead]

HoMM3... is horrifically unbalanced and the AI is quite exploitable.

And?

[Fedora Master]

Gold Box Games. Unplayable outdated garbo.
Also all the Ultimas before 7

[rusty_shackleford]

None of the Ultima games are very playable tbh.
Underworlds excluded.

[Tweed]

Your favorite games.

[Dead]

Darklands is extremely painful to play during combat

[The_Mask]

HoMM3

Fuck you.

How does this make you feel? (sorry for the troll/derail)

[Sweeper]

HoMM3

Fuck you.

How does this make you feel? (sorry for the troll/derail)

Romero's political proclivities and virtue signaling aside, HoMM3's soundtrack is still the greatest vidya soundtrack in history, and I'm way beyond the phase of caring what someone who was involved in something I might care about does or doesn't do. Except Tim Cain, but that's because he's such a turbofaggot. Pretty disappointing tbh.

► Show Spoiler

[Vlajdimir Ermenović]

The first one that I think of the Secret of Monkey Island. Oh how I loved it as a kid, and laughed until I had tears running down my face. Replaying it these days is disheartening, because it really wasn't very good, it was just subversive and I was a moron as a kid.

Well most kids are morons. What I was laughing at and thought was so incredibly funny and cool about the game when I was a kid was little more than the tantrum of the soyboy Ron Gilbert who wrote the game, "deconstructing" other games and "subverting your expectations", presenting every single white male as a dumb, drooling idiot and all women as "strong independent women who don't need no man, let alone a man to save them".

This modern SJW bullshit we have to deal with every day now, was on full display in the Secret of Monkey Island sugar coated with fantastic music and graphics — two more things Ron Gilbert hasn't got a clue about (see: nu-Monkey Island game and penisnose Threepwood)

Not only does the game not hold up, it is not a good game. It is stupidly simple, short and let's face it; unfunny. "Remember when Guybrush went to find the Swordmaster and it turned out to be a strong independent woman of color who didn't need no man?" LMAO so funny!! Soy me more Ron Gilbert you degenerate fuck!

If you wanna talk about games that started bad trends, Ocarina of Time, with its overceremomious animations, cinematics for everything but scratching your ass, constant earrape, and self-absorbed graphics flexing, was like The Last of Us of its time.

[Atlantico]

Nintendo's Seal of Quality, which came into existence for a reason

Yes. To make Nintendo much $$$ to get that "seal of approval". So many garbage games had that "seal of approval", the only thing they had in common was that they paid for it.

Nintendo didn't have any real quality control.

[rusty_shackleford]

Nintendo's Seal of Quality, which came into existence for a reason

Yes. To make Nintendo much $$$ to get that "seal of approval". So many garbage games had that "seal of approval", the only thing they had in common was that they paid for it.

Nintendo didn't have any real quality control.

Again, any quality control was higher than what came prior.
You can point to specific games and laugh, but as a whole, Nintendo Entertainment System had higher quality games on average than any other platform at the time.

[Atlantico]

Nintendo's Seal of Quality, which came into existence for a reason

Yes. To make Nintendo much $$$ to get that "seal of approval". So many garbage games had that "seal of approval", the only thing they had in common was that they paid for it.

Nintendo didn't have any real quality control.

Again, any quality control was higher than what came prior.
You can point to specific games and laugh, but as a whole, Nintendo Entertainment System had higher quality games on average than any other platform at the time.

I had a C64 when the NES was the most popular, and the games on the C64 were consistently always way, way better than anything on the NES.

Without any official "seal of quality". Turns out the free market works.

[rusty_shackleford]

I had a C64 when the NES was the most popular, and the games on the C64 were consistently always way, way better than anything on the NES.

average c64 game

[Atlantico]

I had a C64 when the NES was the most popular, and the games on the C64 were consistently always way, way better than anything on the NES.

average c64 game

Beautiful!

Reminder that a C64 game cost about 5 bucks on average, unlike the 50 bucks for a "seal of quality" NES cartridge.

[Segata]

average c64 game

average NES game

[rusty_shackleford]

average c64 game

average NES game

There were plans for a sequel, Cheetahmen II, but was not completed (6 of 10 proposed levels were made) and was never officially released.

I posted an actual completed game you could pay money for tho.

[KnightoftheWind]

The Seal of Quality was just a marketing gimmick, in reality it was a way of letting customers know that the game is officially licensed by Nintendo. Not that it's any good.

[MadPreacher]

The entire Seal of Quality thing was to stop adult video games from being on the NES in the US. This was in response to several games like Custer's Revenge showing up on the Atari 2600. It had zero to do with actual game quality and all about censorship.

[Tweed]

The Expurgation of Maniac Mansion as told by Douglas Crockford.

I can't find his notes on developing Habitat which is actually an amazing read, especially for anyone who intends to make an MMO. I think it may be lost to history.

[Acrux]

The Expurgation of Maniac Mansion as told by Douglas Crockford.

And yet Nintendo's Seal of Quality made him end up with creating the best version of MM.