A Darker Life: Unique play-by-poll text adventure - Chapter 4: Joggers gonna jog

[Eyestabber]

You wake up to loud noises at your door. As your eyes adjust to the light coming from your window the noise becomes louder. Someone is banging with all their strength at your door. You're still kinda high from your drug binge and have no idea what time or day it is.

- "OPEN UP, *******! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" * more banging *

The voice in distinctly female. You're still not thinking straight and open the door without reaching for your gun first. You spot a white woman in her early 30s. Her body is slim and in good shape, but she has an unmistakable "I wanna speak to the manager" haircut:

Karen.jpg

- "Yo, wussup?"
- "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Oh what am I saying, you obviously don't otherwise you wouldn't be so inconsiderate! I'll have you know your fire alarm has been chirping for three days straight! And the entire GODDAMN BUILDING reeks of your marijuana!"

You try to say something, but your drug addled brain just allows you to laugh retardedly

- "Oh you think it's funny, do you? MIGUEL!"

You recognize the janitor from the line at KFC. He nods at you and walks past, rushing to change your fire alarm batteries before your visitor decides to turn her perma-rage on him. As he works, the woman walks closer to you:

- "Now listen here, little guy. I'm Karen Walker, your neighbor down the hall, yeah? LOOK. AT. ME! Do you know that big guy on the police cruiser that's usually parked on our streets? That's Jason, my boyfriend. OH YEAH, uh-huh! He can totally kick your *** and throw you in jail where some BIG ******* will turn you into their prison *****. You got that? So GET YOUR **** together and stop making a ruckus every **** night! My dog Lucy, she is VERY anxious and doesn't like you AND your fire alarm gave her a panic attack, the poor little thing. Be glad I'm letting you off with a warning! Next time I'll make you pay for her vet bills!"

While she was talking you were thinking of SpongeBob and barely heard her little spiel. By the time you came back to planet Earth she was gone and you were standing on the hallway alone. You close the door and go back into the apartment. It's 3:47 PM on a Wednesday. It's been a couple weeks since you bought the gun and your welfare fortune is completely gone and you won't be able to collect more for at least ten more days. You spent it all in pot and KFC and all the wrappers and smoked joints are littering the floor. Judging by the amount of trash in your room it looks like you have been on a binge for at least a week and half. But party time is over, it's time to score some cash.

You've been postponing this moment. Perhaps due to fear or maybe there's a bit of white left in you that didn't want to start robbing until you had to do it. Either way all those drugs left you very hungry and there's nothing to eat in the apartment. It's time to do some jogging. You put on your jogging hoodie, pants and sneakers. Finally, you take a deep breath and put your jogging gun in your pants, close to the ******* (it's not gay, all ****** do it). Time to go to work!

KFC line.jpg

You arrive at a familiar place, your local KFC where your fellow negroes wait in line to order. You decide to look around the tables for your target and quickly spot a black man with his wife and daughter in a lone table by the corner. The sight of a non-broken black family triggers your ****** sense of opportunity and you decide to sit on the unoccupied chair with the family. Before anyone can say anything, you shove your hand on the bucket in the middle of the table and grab a handful of chicken wings. The man protests:

- "HEY what the hell is wrong with you, fool!?"

Sensing the opportunity to behave like a proper Nubian warrior, you take your gun and slam it on the table.

- "Got something else to say, *****? Yeah, didn't think so! Now go on, get! SCRAM!"

The family stands up and start walking away without turning their backs on you, leaving you with your prize: an extra large bucket of chicken wings, some fries and three sodas. You gorge on the food like a savage animal, yet nobody tries to stop you. In fact, it's possible what you did went fully unnoticed. With your post-pot food cravings satisfied, you turn your attention to your next business venture. Too high and stupid to come up with a plan, you decide to just walk down the street from the KFC and look for an opportunity. A real jogger doesn't plan to go to X place and do Y crime, he lets the jog take him wherever the opportunity arises.

You walk past a public park and notice a white woman with her child on the playground. Another toddler, a little niglet, is stealing stuff from the woman's purse while she is distracted. When she notices what's up she starts saying some bad names and another black man comes up to her and starts accusing her of raycism. You recognize the man from the KFC line: it's Mobuto, the local Somali pedophile. He also seems to recognize you and nods, which is Negro Code for "this victim is claimed, brother". You decide to back off and see the woman showing the middle finger while shouting "******, ******, ******, ******". You realize that word is powerful and the woman's power level might be too much for a neophyte ****** such as yourself to handle, so you gladly leave her to Mobuto. No luck, but you keep walking.

You see a lifeless building with a green logo on top. A line of soy filled pretentious ******* and frustrated women with hair painted in different and unnatural colors await their turn on the counter. This seems to be a coffee shop of some sort, but more interestingly it has its own parking lot where several cars are parked. Your entrepreneurial sense tells you this might be a good place to make some cash and you start prowling the parking lot. You decide to try the door handle on a couple cars and WHAT DO YOU KNOW the red Prius is unlocked! You don't see anything valuable at first, but once you open the glove box fate smiles upon you: a tablet with an apple logo! This is surely worth several bucks on the DEI market! You feel a rush, a warmth, the taste of true ****** triumph! You go back into the lot looking for another car, but they are all locked.

You're about to leave, but then you see a real prize: a MacBook on the seat of silver car. Sure it's locked, but this is too good to pass up so the rush of a successful theft overwhelms you and you decide to just smash the window and take it!

200525-los-angeles-car-break-in-cs-926a.webp

The car alarm goes off, but you dgaf, that MacBook looks new and that's all that matters. Emboldened by success, you decide to say "yo, **** it!" and smash other cars in search of valuables. You loot an older iPhone, two more iPads and pair of brand new, still sealed in the box Apple AirPods. Such a haul means you won't have to work again for another month or so, which is great! As you prepare to leave the parking lot you notice a commotion. Several customers are outside the store, looking at you in horror, but they don't dare say a word. A blue haired woman pushes a "man" forward and urges him to do something.

- "Eh, uh...uh...SIR! This isn't about your skin color and I sympathize with your struggle against capitalistic oppression, but you could please, maybe, not take my girlfriend's MacBook Pro? She needs it for her...ahn...modelling career."

There is no way in hell you're gonna give up the crown jewel of today's crime spree, so you just put your loot under your left arm, draw your gun and point on the general direction of the crowd.

- "YOU WANT SOME OF THIS, MUDDAFUCKA!? HUH!? WHICH U CRACKAS WANT A CAP IN UR ***, HUH!?"

The crowd starts literally shaking, some even start to cry while others decide to run away from the scene. The blue haired woman is shaking frantically, her fat rolls blobbing everywhere while she screeches:

- "He has a gun, he has a GUN! Oh no, he's gonna kill Josh and then he's gonna take me, overpower me with his strong hands, drag me like a doll, put me in my own car and force himself on me. OMG, I'M TOTALLY DEFENSELESS AND HE'S GONNA RAPE ME SO HARD. Please, I won't scream, just do what you want to me, PLEEEEAASSSEEEE. I'll do anything, pleeeeaaaseeee" * she is crying and screaming at the same time *

You're taken back by the woman's utterly deranged pleas. While rape is a staple in niggerdom, her sheer ugliness and masculine demeanor makes you instinctively abhor the notion of going anywhere near her pussy.

- "Yo *****, what's wrong wit u!? Ain't nobody raping anybody, ya feel me? You don't deserve muh rape!"

She starts bawling her eyes out and screaming incoherently. Hell hath no fury like a woman non-raped. If your crime spree didn't alert the cops, her scene surely will, so you make haste and leave the parking lot. You arrive back at the apartment several minutes later and drop your ill gotten gains on the bed. Definitely not a bad first day of jogging! Now you just need to find a buyer for the loot and lay low a bit. There's also the Karen problem that needs to be dealt with at some point. Or maybe it's time for more lucrative endeavors, now that you got a taste of the action? Time (and DEMOCRACY) will tell!

Progression

You made decent progress towards ****** Level 3, but you can't expect to become a hustler in your very first day on the job. You need more crimes to earn your place in niggerdom. Until then you will remain a wannabe gangster with a pitiful crime record.

[asf]

raiding some parking lot is poor jogging, need to jog around houses under construction instead

[Eyestabber]

raiding some parking lot is poor jogging, need to jog around houses under construction instead

Patience, little Jamal. With great melanin comes great crimes. You just started your criminal journey.

[rusty_shackleford]

Real ******* don't read