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Poll: What player character would you choose?

For discussing role-playing video games, you know, the ones with combat.
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Which player character would you prefer?

Humans, but they're black
1
4%
Elves, but they're Jewish
3
12%
Orcs, but they're Mexican
7
28%
Dwarves, but they're women
1
4%
Vampires, but they're gay
4
16%
Kobolds, but they're the furry dog-looking kind
2
8%
Gnomes (already bad enough)
7
28%
 
Total votes: 25

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Stack of Turtles
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Poll: What player character would you choose?

Post by Stack of Turtles »

If these were the only options available in any game for all time, which one would you choose to play as?
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Post by TKVNC »

Bruh. How the **** am I supposed to answer this?
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Post by asf »

gay thread, op is a ******
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Post by Acrux »

I'd just wait for somebody mod it.
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Post by Tangerine »

Having both Elven **** and Gnomes is semitic overrepresentation.
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Post by logincrash »

Trick question. Dwarven women are indistinguishable from the men.
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Post by Norfleet »

I just play whatever is meta.
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

I like Regill and Grobnar
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Post by Stack of Turtles »

Acrux wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:00
I'd just wait for somebody mod it.
Okay. Now your options are the same but all the characters are also ********.
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Post by Unhelpful Contrarian »

Elven ****

The easiest answer I ever chosen.
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Post by Tangerine »

Oyster Sauce wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:05
I like Regill and Grobnar
I suppose that's the best of a bunch of bad options.
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Post by Stack of Turtles »

logincrash wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:03
Trick question. Dwarven women are indistinguishable from the men.
YOU'll know, though. It'll eat at you.
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Hobbits (they're English)
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Post by Stack of Turtles »

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:08
Hobbits (they're English)
Now I wish I'd added "Hobbits, but they're Kender" as an option.
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Post by maidenhaver »

Kobolds are dog-looking and orcs are pig-looking. That's how it is.
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

maidenhaver wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:15
Kobolds are dog-looking and orcs are pig-looking. That's how it is.
Gary Gygax wrote:
I thought of kobolds as humanoid, but with green complexion due to their forest habitat and skin that was rough and scaly even though they were mammalian.
It was indeed Dave sutherland that decided to give the kobolds a dog-like visage, likely because I had described gnolls as hyena-like. I had actually originally envisaged them as more impish ot countenence, but I went along with the depiction, as it made no difference to the game's play.
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Post by Tweed »

I go play something good instead.
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Post by A Chinese opium den »

Are the vampires gay as in they have sex with other men or gay as in lame and bad?
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Post by Demonic Fate »

I would, at last, touch grass.
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Post by Norfleet »

A Chinese opium den wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:40
Are the vampires gay as in they have sex with other men or gay as in lame and bad?
Yes.
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Post by Tweed »

If people want to play games with fagpires and sporks (**** orks) then that says volumes about the HQ userbase. Of course, these are the same people who loved Bear's Gape 3 and cheat at the polls.
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

@rusty_shackleford need a poll feature that forbids people from posting in the thread until they vote :)
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Post by Lhynn »

If they are black, they arent human.
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Post by Stack of Turtles »

A Chinese opium den wrote: ↑ April 19th, 2025, 21:40
Are the vampires gay as in they have sex with other men or gay as in lame and bad?
There's a difference?
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Post by Norfleet »

Mexican Orcs would be be pretty funny, really. I'm just picturing a bunch of sombrero-wearing bandito orcs.
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Post by UltraFan123 »

Norfleet wrote: ↑ April 20th, 2025, 01:28
Mexican Orcs would be be pretty funny, really. I'm just picturing a bunch of sombrero-wearing bandito orcs.
Yeah, when I think "Mexican Orcs" I'm not thinking of the recent WotC greenskin *******, I'm thinking more about something like this:
proxy-image (1).jpg
"You came to the wrong neighborhood gringo!"
proxy-image (2).jpg
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Post by Acrux »

Norfleet wrote: ↑ April 20th, 2025, 01:28
Mexican Orcs would be be pretty funny, really. I'm just picturing a bunch of sombrero-wearing bandito orcs.
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Post by Val the Moofia Boss »

Image
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Post by maidenhaver »

Zorco
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Post by Norfleet »

UltraFan123 wrote: ↑ April 20th, 2025, 01:58
Norfleet wrote: ↑ April 20th, 2025, 01:28
Mexican Orcs would be be pretty funny, really. I'm just picturing a bunch of sombrero-wearing bandito orcs.
Yeah, when I think "Mexican Orcs" I'm not thinking of the recent WotC greenskin *******, I'm thinking more about something like this:
Image
"You came to the wrong neighborhood gringo!"
Image
The thing is, orcs already represent the worst and most uncultured savages. They represent some of RPGHQ's least-liked racial groups. Therefore, making them even the worst Mexicans is already an upgrade, since even if they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, and they're rapists, some, I'd assume, are good people.