BG3 - I must rant

[MadRussian]

I finally finished it last night, for the first time and probably for the last time, and I can't recall another game that ****** me off so much. I looked on Steam stats and **** me, I almost have 500 hours clocked in it, I feel ******** for it, but I had to finish it because otherwise it would bother me

I bought it in EA coming off Divinity Original Sin 2, and very much star-struck with Larian. Back then, DDOS2 was actually an example of a stellar ******* game. But the mechanics wouldn't translate well into DnD, and when I loaded BG3 for the first time in EA I was like... dafaq... this is DDOS2 with a reskin... you can't be serious, right? Especially with the same ******** chain/unchain mechanic. I swear, whoever came up with it deserves the ****** of the Decade award. Anyway. I played through the EA Act 1 and then set it aside and forgot about it until the full release because I didn't want spoilers.

Release comes, and some issues got ironed out but others remain. 5e is a gay ruleset to begin with, but Larian absolutely ***-raped it, making some really weird choices. Like, why take out attunement but leave concentration in? Both are gay mechanics because ******** players can't do math and keep track of bonuses, also spellcasters are quadratic and it makes my bum sore, daddy WOTC nerf please. **** off, concentration and attunement. Anyway. Some spells get superbuffed, others get nerfed to hell, again with zero rhyme or reason. Fly got ****** in particular, god-*******-******, I love flying, but Larian's tard-*** engine can't handle vertical movement so it's like Jump++ now. For one ******* minute. Yeah, I'll totally burn a level 3 spell slot for that. And speaking of! If your tard-*** engine can't handle vertical movement not just of characters, but also of the camera, then WHY THE **** do you build maps with multiple elevation levels that makes the camera **** out?

And also! PATH IS INTERRUPTED! PATH IS INTERRUPTED! PATH IS INTERRUPTED! **** YOU, PATH IS INTERRUPTED! ALSO, ENJOY SHOOTING/SLASHING/BLASTING AN EMPTY SPACE RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR INTENDED TARGET BECAUSE YOU MOVED THE MOUSE THE WIDTH OF A MOSQUITO'S **** AS YOU CLICKED TO CONFIRM THE ACTION, SO INSTEAD OF STAYING ON TARGET, THE GAME DECIDED THAT YOU WANTED TO TARGET EMPTY SPACE FOR NO REASON. FUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOUUUU.

You know why else I have 500 hours clocked? Because 2 of my runs got ****** when patches broke some mods and those in turns ****** my saves. IDK. Anyway.

Characters. Shadowheart is alright and is actually feminine despite Jennifer English being a ****. I hope it physically hurt her to record voice lines that express affection towards potentially straight White male characters. Astarion is a flaming evil ******. Funny because of how woke this **** is, and instead of writing a mary sue they wrote a straight-up "evil predatory ******" stereotype. And the good ending for him is to CONVINCE HIM TO STOP BEING AN EVIL PREDATORY ****** and start being a decent person. Just ******* LOL. Lae'zel is GRRRR STRONK WHAMEN except she isn't, her insecurities shine brighter than the ******* sun and it takes all of 10 seconds to see that the GRRR STRONK WHAMEN act is a cover for it. Together with Astarion, WTF? Are they secretly based? Gale is supposed to be a magical arrogant gigachad that ****** a goddess, instead he is written, and sounds like, a meek barely-out-of-the-closet *** who wishes he had the nuts to be a flaming ***. Seriously. I knew someone in real life who had exact same mannerisms, manner of speech and everything. Karlach, UUUUUUUGH, **** everything about Karlach, the intentional uglifying with the scars, the "this is really a story about someone with a terminal disease" writing, the "I'm a person from modern regular world that got isekai'd to Faerun" manner of speech, and **** Sam Beart in particular because she's a ******. Wyll the Magic Negro was actually a lot cooler in the EA, and I guess WOTC tried to make him the main character, so he got changed into a mostly-blank-slate? Did people seriously think that he will be anyone's first choice for the main character as opposed to rolling your own? **** off. Also, White Wyll mod is awesome and I love that someone out there is malding because it exists. Daddy Fuckbear Halsin. Just why. Minthara. No clue because she's bugged, also she looks like a ****** after she got uglified post-EA. Minsc and Jaheira, they were actually DECENT even though they were johnny-come-latelies brought in specifically for memberberries. Minsc in particular was awesome. Why couldn't we have him in the beginning instead of the magic negro?

The world. If not for No Alphabets and Better Aesthetics, I would have probably never finished the game. Thank you Orinesque and SniperChris, I will forever sing your praises. I wish I had gone into my first playthrough with your mods installed, because they actually made it a bearable Forgotten Realms experience instead of "I'm watching a twitch stream of three women, two *******, a ****** and a ****** play DnD as the MOST DIVERSE GROUP EVAH, roll for misgendereing!"

Finally, the people behind it. Swen and the whole of Larian apparently got ****** hard enough by Hasbro and WOTC that they don't want anything to do with DnD ever again. Probably for the better. If only you fucks spent more time improving your engine instead of doing more gay bear sex scenes. I usually am good at separating art from artists, but some of these fucks make it difficult. Now Jennifer English (Shart) and her lesbowife are trying to cancel the guy who voiced an NPC because he liked some tweets that real-life NPCs are currently programmed to hate. Also they just won't **** off. No, I don't need to see another video of Devora Wilde pretending to be Lae'zel. It was funny the first 100 times, now it's just cringe.

Anyway it's over now and I can uninstall it and forget about it. God **** my obsessive personality.

[Anon]

Gz


.

[Val the Moofia Boss]

Aw, sounds pretty sad that this is the biggest game WRPG players get in years and you got this. Then again, almost every WRPG I've played the characters haven't been very likeable. Seems to be the norm for the genre.

How was the game aesthetically and the soundtrack? Is the combat and character building fun? I heard that the fun in Larian games was doing stuff like using teleport spells to teleport chests from lava lakes and such. Also, what did you think of the narrator gimmick?

[MadRussian]

Aw, sounds pretty sad that this is the biggest game WRPG players get in years and you got this. Then again, almost every WRPG I've played the characters haven't been very likeable. Seems to be the norm for the genre.

How was the game aesthetically and the soundtrack? Is the combat and character building fun? I heard that the fun in Larian games was doing stuff like using teleport spells to teleport chests from lava lakes and such. Also, what did you think of the narrator gimmick?

Aesthetically it is very good. I would even say that it allowed me to create one of the best-looking main characters in any RPG I've ever played. The world is very pretty, but ******** camera and lack of photo mode makes it hard to appreciate it. The effects are good. Sound is good. I would go as far as saying that the game has "very good bones" if you will. Like I said in the OP, if Larian devoted more resources to improving gameplay and optimizing the engine, it could have been quite stellar. With mods removing woke **** and ******** mechanics like concentration, and adding things like transmog, it is a lot better than it is in its vanilla state. But, you have to contend with the game's own innate instability, and mods add their own instability on top of that, which makes for a frustrating experience.

[Hauberk]

Well that's 21+ days and nights of your life spent watching satanist propaganda you'll never get back, @MadRussian. But perhaps someone will read your rant and decide to not buy that heap of garbage and then it might not have been in vain.

[OnTilt]

Well that's 21+ days and nights of your life spent watching satanist propaganda you'll never get back, @MadRussian. But perhaps someone will read your rant and decide to not buy that heap of garbage and then it might not have been in vain.

People bought it? I buy indie games, but I don't buy AAA crap.

(INB4 Larian is an indie studio -- you know what I mean.)

[TKVNC]

It's a strange game. Underneath all of the garbage woke, and fetish simulation, it is a surprisingly ok game.

But the problem is, it is piled so high with goyslop it's like wading through treacle to get to any of the 'good' parts. Not to mention the bastardised UI that makes it clear it was a Console creation ported to PC.

I suppose all it really does is prove that modern game studios barely know how to make good games anymore. Fundamentally, and BG3 proves it, along with Shartfield and other goyslop - politics is more important than quality.

[Orvas Dren]

I'm watching a twitch stream of three women, two *******, a ****** and a ****** play DnD as the MOST DIVERSE GROUP EVAH, roll for misgendereing!

Every time I try to replay the game this just becomes immediately apparent and forces me to lose interest

[MadRussian]

Well that's 21+ days and nights of your life spent watching satanist propaganda you'll never get back, @MadRussian. But perhaps someone will read your rant and decide to not buy that heap of garbage and then it might not have been in vain.

As I said, I ain't proud of it and feel like a ****** for sticking with it TBH. What I paid for it amounts to an average night at a bar, and that's if I don't end up doing shots. So normally I'd just drop it and forget it. In this case I didn't. So しょうがない (yeah, I'm a weeb too). And in the end it was rant-worthy.

Funny thing. Take the woke **** out, and BG3 would be... perfectly mid. The story is fairly generic. None of the characters have any OMGWHATATWIST factor (for an example of that, Kreia from KOTOR2). All it is is a long game with pretty visuals and a fuckton of voiceovers, but saddled with a ****** ruleset and issues born of the baked-in engine problems that the devs were too lazy or stupid to fix.

The fact that it takes heroes like OrinEsque, SniperChris and Fesstrom to bring it from "fagfest" to "mid" is what is probably the most infuriating thing about it.

[Rand]

and **** Sam Beart in particular because she's a ******

Worse, she's an ordinary woman so seduced by alphabet leftism in her disgusting industry that she wears a ******** superficial queercloak of "nonbinary" identity.

[Rand]

I didn't realize they uglified Minthara so much from EA.
Yeesh. Why would you court the ****** gaze instead of the male one.

[LemonDemonGirl]

I didn't realize they uglified Minthara so much from EA.
Yeesh. Why would you court the ****** gaze instead of the male one.

Huh, she looked ok before.
Now? She has a permanent Resting ***** Face

[rusty_shackleford]

"she" looks like a man now

[Anon]

Minthara is a strong woman (not in the sense of being a woke girlboss) who'd be an adequate match to produce gigachad offspring. People who can't appreciate somebody like Minthara is condemned to reproduce soyboys.

[Shillitron]

@orinEsque does your mod make Minthara look hot?

[rusty_shackleford]

Minthara is a strong woman (not in the sense of being a woke girlboss) who'd be an adequate match to produce gigachad offspring. People who can't appreciate somebody like Minthara is condemned to reproduce soyboys.

"she" has a bigger jaw than gigachad

[orinEsque]

@orinEsque does your mod make Minthara look hot?

No... its not a beatification mod. I'm pretty sure nexus will have those.

[Shillitron]

Minthara is a strong woman (not in the sense of being a woke girlboss) who'd be an adequate match to produce gigachad offspring. People who can't appreciate somebody like Minthara is condemned to reproduce soyboys.

"she" has a bigger jaw than gigachad

I'm all for strong powerful drow mommies.
But she's not feminine at all, her jaw is more chiseled than mine.

[rusty_shackleford]

@orinEsque does your mod make Minthara look hot?

No... its not a beatification mod. I'm pretty sure nexus will have those.

Isn't it supposed to remove ********?

[Shillitron]

Also why the **** is she purple?

[Anon]

Minthara is a strong woman (not in the sense of being a woke girlboss) who'd be an adequate match to produce gigachad offspring. People who can't appreciate somebody like Minthara is condemned to reproduce soyboys.

"she" has a bigger jaw than gigachad

Imagine her male offspring then

[rusty_shackleford]

Minthara is a strong woman (not in the sense of being a woke girlboss) who'd be an adequate match to produce gigachad offspring. People who can't appreciate somebody like Minthara is condemned to reproduce soyboys.

"she" has a bigger jaw than gigachad

Imagine her male offspring then

men can't get pregnant

[Anon]

I see you hadn't exterminated the grove yet

[Shillitron]

I see you hadn't exterminated the grove yet

You don't need to anymore. You can recruit her without doing it because people whined and complained.

[Anon]

I see you hadn't exterminated the grove yet

You don't need to anymore. You can recruit her without doing it because people whined and complained.

Yes that's a huge shame and I also deeply hated that. Still has the best sex scene though (my recommendation is taking the 20 minutes to get the scene then load back to save the grove if you care about it, tough luck in honour mode though)

[Metalhead33]

During my first playthrough, I was like "okay, okay, it's a gigapozzed game, but if you try your best to ignore all that (or better yet, install the NoAlphabets mod), it's the the best game ever... or at least game of the decade".

After my second playthrough, I'm kinda like "meh".

Replay value ain't that high. I first played as a Human Male Paladin with an Oath of Devotion, did all the goodey-two-shoes good boy stuff. My second playthrough was as a Half-Orc dual-classed Oathbreaker Paladin + Warlock combo, an it was an evil playthrough... and honestly? Meh. Replay value isn't that high.
The second playthrough made me even more acutely aware of the game's serious flaws. Also, compared to the good playthrough, the evil playthrough felt kinda lonely. While the first playthrough felt like an epic adventure - albeit one laced with pozzed woke propaganda and way too much horniness for my taste - the second playthrough felt kinda meh. The magic just wasn't there anymore.

[Shillitron]

Isn't it supposed to remove ********?

Imagine living in a underground shithole matriarchy where women dominate society and males are essentially slaves or Drider feed.

I mean.. if anyone was gonna transition....

[Oyster Sauce]

Hello beautiful!

[rusty_shackleford]

I didn't realize they uglified Minthara so much from EA.
Yeesh. Why would you court the ****** gaze instead of the male one.

[Shillitron]

Hello beautiful!

Guess I'll go finish that IWD2:EE run I was doing..