Planetwar 2025.12.09 — Medieval Ii: Total War Kingdoms

[Hank Hill]

Planetwar was a semi-popular ****** mod for Medieval 2 Total War. It featured many wacky factions including but not limited to Humans, Shrek's kingdom of Far Far Away and the Cryptids, an alien civilization responsible for the mod's setting.\
\
In 2021 the mod's original creator, Smolka, released version 5 of the mod. This version changed the black human rebel general's portrait to an image of George Floyd, it added a new faction of black people with stereotypical models that have watermelon throwing and giant chicken riding units, and changed the model of the human priest to a Klansman model. Somewhere between late 2022 and 2024 the mod got deleted from the sites hosting it, ModDB and Total War Center, because someone got shocked that a shitpost mod would shitpost. This mod is at risk of becoming lost media, but you can find the first four versions of the mod on the Internet Archive! \
\
This version is the latest version and was found on a site hosting it, and through the fear of it being lost I'm posting it here.\
\
Here is the mod's original description:\
\
In the year 2500 the human race was conquered by a more advanced alien race. Every human being was either killed or rounded up onto a massive space ship to be used as slaves. Along the way to the aliens' homeworld, one man by the name of Mike Slate succeded in hijacking the slave ship using a box cutter he managed to sneak aboard.\
\
The slave ship was forced to land on an earthlike planet and all humans were released. As they exited the ship, they soon realized that they were not alone. Several other humanoid alien races were also enslaved aboard the ship. Apparently, the aliens went from solar system to solar system conquering and enslaving. Over the course of 500 years, each alien race migrated to a different part of the planet, seeking conditions similar to their own homeworld. Some developed metal technology rather quickly while others couldn't figure it out. The year is now 3000 and the human race is in a struggle for the right to exist.