40 seconds in showing the character generation and all the "AmAzInG" vitiligo options. Always a great sign that most definitely there will not be any woke **** in a game.
0:50 timestamp:
"Apparently, this game has a lot of woke stuff in it. In the time that I have spent with it so far, that hasn't been apparent. However, as best as I can tell form the clips I've seen floating around a lot of it seems to be associated with the like a binary, nonbinary transgender character."
So, right from the horse's mouth, he's seen stuff about the game. And worse, he's seen WOKE **** that is present in the game. No blackout. Not necessarily proves he saw reviews but...
Then, he says this at 1:10
"Look, yes everyone is furious, 'slay queen' or y'know, 'get this ideology out of my game!', whatever. The zealots are gonna fight, they are gonna pick their battleground. But to me, that's very cart before the horse."
There we go. Not wanting woke **** in a game is equally as bad as yelling "slay queen" while snapping your fingers with 9 inch long fake nails. Awesome. What a based, fair and level headed individual.
Then he waffles about not following "any ideology" which is 100% ******** as no man is an island and there is no way a normie is not at least knee deep into leftist ideology as its what they concider "normal" now. Specially someone that is terminally online, and he has to be, since he is 1.- a normie and 2.- a youtuber.
His big cop out? "As long as it is just one character and you can ignore that character, I don't mind." Exactly. Just like a fence sitting flipflopping ****** normie would say. What a shock. Then he pounds his chest saying that he is "in the business of playing games" and as long as the game is good, nothing else matters.
...except he also says he is a huge BioWare
fan cocksmoker so he had to have seen the trailers and gameplay reveals, which is all anyone with a brain needs to realize that not only is it going to be woke as ****, its going to be a **** show with awful "gAmEpLaY".
3:07
"So far, playing this, I gotta admit it. I gotta plant the flag as it where, I am enjoying myself . It's kinda fun. Although, I have to caveat this by saying that it doesn't really feel like a Dragon Age game"
How? How can anyone enjoy this *********? And a game called "Dragon Age" doesn't feel like Dragon Age? But still, its a "worth your time AND your money" recommendation? Unbelieavable.
Then, he says at 3:22
"Still feels like a BioWare game. Like a more mainstream-yfied BioWare game. Like the combat system, The combat system I like"
...rrrright, the combat system that is a watered down 3rd person hack and slash game, like a dime a dozen.
Now, I am not going to go over the entire video has he waffles pathetically with half assed excuses for why the **** show he has been playing its OK. Let's go over a stream that shows the first 2 hours of gameplay, to see what experience this ****** got that he thought it was "worth your time AND your money!".
4k no commentary. Perfect for what we need. Actual "gameplay", if we dare to call it that, starts right away, as there is no recorded character generation. After the intro, around close to the 7 minute mark, we can see the very strong and very independent bar owner giving her asskicking girl boss one liner to the main character (MC from now on).
The MC gets 2 "ChOiCeS": Talk it out or Talk it out. So, the player chooses the "Direct Approach" version of the Talk it out choice. Awesome gameplay. A fight ensues. But its still a cutscene so, no fingers on the controller yet. Around the 10 minute mark you can actually move your character and walk around. No NPCs to actually interact or talk. I mean, they are there, but only as scenery. Varric tells the you that you need to find "Neve" who we already know is the (possibly) ***** pajeeta peg legged mage. But, a normie that doesn't watch or read reviews wouldn't know that.
Some wraith demons are attacking the city because Solas, the Deadnamed himself, is doing something. We don't really care, unless we played the previous Dragon Age game which was **** and also had ******* and a ***** character. Then you get your 2nd option, the female dwarf archer companion asks: "Are you OK?" your choices are: "Never better.", "A little shaky" and "In a hurry". I think we can all guess how meaningful this one is.
13 minutes into the game and we finally get out first combat! How exciting! Much hype!
Finally, at 16:36 we get to meet our diverse and disabled allegedly female mage, voiced by lesbian Jessica Clark. Surely, she was hired on talent alone. I mean, she sounds just like an effeminate man. I am sure the ****** at BioWare loved her performance. Strange that in such a magitech setting that is Veilguard, she has a pegleg instead of a magitech cyborg leg. Surely, it wasn't to beat the player over the head that she is also disabled, in addition to being brown, and a woman. We call that a triple whammy. With any luck, she will be gay and ***** too!
There's been a lot more dull and mindless combat, peppered with some incredible dialogue. We don't really have time or will to list all of it. But, finally, at around the 26:37 mark, we get our first "boss" or maybe "miniboss" fight against a Pride Demon. After that, there's some custcenes and we get another exciting and extremely impactful choice. Varrick wants to talk Solas down, your 2 female companions object, saying that its not going to work and that Solas won't back down just because an old friend asks nicely. Varrick claims Solas needs to be sold another option than what he is doing and insists on going alone to talk to him. Your choices are: "This is a mistake" and "You can do it". Now... this one appears to be a real choice at a glance, but its not and we thankfully are able to see it in game, as the Player decided to have a brain and choose "This is mistake". Varrick goes anyways and gets killed by Solas. So, it was most definitely another meaningful choice.
I mean, so far this is looking like standard normie slop but the aesthetics are awful, the facial animations stilted and lifeless and the combat is dull and repetitive. But, we still have 90 minutes to go, so surely there's lots of fun to be had here yet!
The MC gets into a a dreamspace with Solas and talks some stuff out. Solas wasn't destroying the world, bla bla bla, choices choices choices, I am sure they are all extremely meaningful. You wake up and then Varrick is all fine and dandy in a bed. Turns out he wasn't quite dead after all. Just a flesh wound as they say.
40:16 Varrick tells the MC:
"Before you start worrying, Harding (the female dwarf archer compaion) will be fine. She's made of sterner stuff than either one of us. Or, at least, she is a lot tougher than me."
Just amazing writing. Of course the female dwarf archer is tougher than Varrick and probably even YOU, the Main Character. And specially if you are male.
At the 43:36 mark you can see the manly chest of Neve. If you can see that and not realize this game is woke as ****, you either need glasses or you are ****** that jerks off to she-male porn. Being a "normie" is not an excuse. Look at those flat pecs and collarbone. Shirt is open all the way to half her torso and nary a sign that Neve has a female body.
You are finally let go to "explore" the Lighthouse. 15 minutes and a lot of exposition later, its time to go back through the mirror to stop the 2 gods that escaped.
And here we go again, at the 54:34 mark, a ******* ****** elf. But the game is not woke at all guys. Not in HIS experience so far. Oh, and its even better, its a
dalish ****** elf. So, no ******* interracial breeding or rape babies because his family is from the elf ghetto. No, he is a proud ****** elf from the ****** elf woodland. Straight outta Comptonia Forest. The other dalish with him is not a ******, but who knows, maybe they are from different tribes.
1 hour in and we are finally back in control for some actual gameplay again. Mark 59:37 and we get our ***** elf. Hopefully she is not from the same place our other dalish elves, or else that would mean that the dalish tribe is more diverse and culturally enriched than the US of A. But surely, such "modern day sensibilities" are not in this game of games filled with gameplay that is worth the time and money of real gamers like this manly reviewer.
We get to enjoy some thought provoking redditor dialogue from the ***** dalish elf. Gone are the days where dalish elves spoke differently than city elves. No, she would be right at home doing tiktoks of her office job where all she does is go to pointless meetings, play ping pong, drink chai lattes and record herself to post on tiktok. "Andaran atish’an"? No sir, no time for lame dalish elf greetings for nerds.
At the 1:06:15 mark or so, we get our first puzzle. Yes, this game has a host of mindmelting puzzles to keep your wits, as well as your blades, always sharp. Grab a glowy romboid of sorts and place it in the spot a few paces from where you grab it. Granted, its not the first and will not be the last with such engrossing puzzles, but we must take note that the gameplay is fun and varied. This is the only time I will mention this, we will find about a dozen or so like this during our fun 2 hour experience.
At around the 1:07:10 mark, one hour and almost 10 minutes into the game, the game flashes a tutorial prompt about the icon that shows that you will be attacked and what button to press to dodge or another button to defend. If the game is giving us this tutorial now, it must mean we didn't really needed this information for 1 hour that we have been 'playing' this game of the year. I mean, I am already bored out of my mind every time there's more exciting combat, but surely, playing it instead of watching it would be very different.
Around the 1:25:00 hour mark we get our first boss fight against an Ogre. The dialogue is so bad that I stopped noticing how terrible and stilted the face animations are. Almost Andromeda level.
At the 1:30:22 mark we get back to the Arlathan Forest's Veil Jumper camp. Where we can see a very diverse, as in brown and black, array of dalish elves. One of the dalish elves that was with the niggerelf from a while ago mentions that the camp is housing the people that has been evacuated from 3 different dalish villages due to darkspawn attacks. So, apparently dalish elves are all different shades of brown and very diverse. Except for our ***** dalish elf. But, I am sure dalish elves have always been diverse humans with knife ears cosplay and not their own race entirely. This is BioWare we are talking about, they know the lore of their own games.
So, you arrive around the 1:38:00 mark to the last place where the dalish lost contact to investigate and slay some darkspawn. Your female dwarf archer forces you to accept that she is tagging along, even though she is wounded from the battle against Solas. Alongside you are your other 2 female companions, the ***** dalish elf and the disabled brown and male torso-ed mage. Glad that our Player decided to make a male protagonist or else this would be one of those magical girl anime. "Girls get it done", as they say.
Something terrible happened in this place. There's some corpses and stuff and after looking around we see a man trapped by some monstrous vines/roots and then... what's that around mark 1:45:40? a DRAGON! OMG, this is already peak fiction! Turns out this "dragon" is actually one of the evil gods that escaped due to what happened with Solas. She looks menacingly at the MC, and then says:
"Flesh blood. A hungry heart. Creature, come to me!" and, for whatever reason, it just flies away... no boss fight or anything. Not even summoning minions and/or a lesser mook to fight as she leaves. She just goes. Maybe she's trying to tell the Player to follow her lead and leave this ******* game in the garbage.
Turns out the trapped man is the mayor of the village who sold the people to the evil gods. You get to decide to either free him or not. We are not sure if this choice has an actual impact, as our Player decided to spare him. Maybe you can actually kill him or let him die, but who knows. After this, we get a cutscene of Varrick giving us some exposition. We unlock fast travel and go back to report our findings to our ****** elf overlord.
And that is pretty much it. It's 1:50:00 but the video has no character creation so, your boy spent at least 10 minutes creating the vitiligo monstrosity shown in his review so we'll call it here. You can watch the rest of the 7 hour stream if you wish to torture yourself.
What did we found in 2 hours? Wokeness? For ******* sure. Yeah, no ****** or **** outright performing "gender affirming surgery" on children, but we got ****** elves, ***** elves, brown elves, all living together in a refugee camp because dalish elves are now the people in California. We got a female dwarf made of "sterner stuff" than your protagonist and Varrick, a male torso-ed peglegged mage and a redditor ***** dalish elf. So, 3 impressive strong, independent, diverse and female (allegedly) companions. The only male companion is bed ridden and even admits to being softer than the dwarven archer. We got tumblr level dialogue, terrible and boring combat, horrible aesthetics, stilted and puppet-like facial expressions, elementary grade puzzles and a dialogue wheel that might as well not be there because all the options have so little variation this time around, even less than ME3 or previous Dragon Age games, than might as well not even be there.
I say it again. How was this fun? How can anyone with a brain find this fun? Nevermind not having the brain maturity to have a developed fluid intelligence with the bare minimum pattern recognition to notice all the woke ****. There is no way a "normie" that calls himself a "BioWare fanboy" and pounds his chest claiming he is a real gamer that plays games can find this entertaining. I understand staying on top of the YouTube algo, I understand fence sitting because of YouTube and monetization. But, he could have just said that the game wasn't good without bringing up the wokeness. But nope, in his own words, this is "kinda fun".
If this doesn't discredit his reputation as a "game reviewer", then nothing will. But this is why I don't trust "GaMe ReViEwErS". If I am curious about a game, I watch a no commentary stream to see the actual game and form my own opinion.
