Battle Brothers LP - Slayin' With the Boys

[Ratcatcher]

Finally found the time to start reading this @Kalarion, only a couple pages in so far but this is epic, Grimwulf-tier level of storytelling, at least for what I've seen so far. If and when I manage to get a hold of him on Steam (which could take time, Russia being current year Russia) I will definitely point him here. Hell, I was waiting for a good excuse to link him the HQ anyway. I will ofc await being a bit deeper into it before commenting but I 99% agree on your analysis of talents and such.
If I may chime in with my (late-to-the-party) opinions:

► Show Spoiler

-I seldom take student anymore. Math at hands, it implies your bro will be a few stats higher but one whole talent behind the regular curve, ofc the increased xp makes up for a portion of that but due to the increase in the xp needed for each level up, you only get talent neutral around level 9, with level 10 being basically the only one you live with an actual talent advantage (as most bros will be level 9) to then finish up at 11. I do take student on later promising bros I get from lowly professions (thieves can be ungodly tanks) to bring them up to shape.
-I always take gifted. An additional, maxed out rolls for stats is too good to pass on, imho. The caveat is, I rarely take it in the beginning (I take it on **** bros I will dismiss or sacrifice anyway) and, by selecting it at later levels, I can use it as a way to 'fix' the exact stats I want to finish up a build. By taking it in the beginning you almost surely waste a roll or two on stats that have little need.
-I almost never raise rngd def. Ranged enemies can usually select multiple targets anyway, and the first thing that guides their selection of target is precisely the to-hit rolls they have at their disposal. If you wish to invest into rng def, either make it so all your bros are more or less on the same page or puprosedly leave your best tanks with a lower stat. Else, you just create preferred targets all the marksmen will then pile on, because someone is bound to get the short hand of the stick (rolls). Do raise it on a specific bro you actively don't want to be targeted ofc, I just rarely build those.
-Especially in the beginning but for all the duration of a campaign, get nets. Always buy more nets. Always have one bros having one at the ready and possibly one in his inv, unless fighting giants or smth. Netting is OP af. It increases your damage potential by lowering def scores, prevents moving, lowers the chance of attacks and is compound with the penalty for reactions. A single well placed net can secure you a nice piece of armor, kill a fleeing target you must reach (because vengeance ofc), save an otherwise dead bro by allowing him to retreat to safety.
-U hate gobbos? Have doge. Goblins are nasty little fuckers and I 100% agree with your classification of the 3 possible goblin enemies. Unarmored dogs are cheap, offer additional targets, are fast enough to catch up with gobbos (that you should liberally be netting back anyway) and due to relatively low gob-hp, are actually able to **** one up in a single round.

I only read a single page and half of this monumental thing you wrote down. Sorry if some of the stuff above you had already addressed in the following pages, just wanted to write down my thoughts before I froget.

[asf]

gay

[rusty_shackleford]

where the rest??
@Kalarion

[Oyster Sauce]

rocks fell

[boot]

Gogogogo

[Kalarion]

DOGS OF WEILBURG, cont.

► Play Session

OnTilt levels up:


He takes Fearsome for his perk. His melee skill is finally starting to leave respectable and hit the lower end of excellent. He should be around 85 skill by 11. Perfect for a macebro.

The Turtles head back into Riedland, where most of Fodder's old gear is sold off. Kalarion's first priority is filling in the hole left by Gerey's death and Fodder's retirement.


: Hmmmmm...
@boot: "Make me a disowned noble duelist. Give me a buckler and sword until I get duelist perk."

: Hello, sir! Boot's the name!
: Indeed. You seem cheery for being here for tryouts. What's your family think of this?
: My family...

Boot looks away.
: They don't know I'm here and they probably wouldn't care. I've seen things. Noticed things. I tried to tell them... they got tired of it.
: Oh?
: The Hexen, sir. They're doing something. I see their handiwork everywhere. And I think maybe they're in alliance with the Alps.
: Or maybe Alps are their pets or something. I'm not sure, but I know they're connected somehow.

Kalarion raises one eyebrow. Boot stops talking and shrugs.
: Like I said. They got tired of my trying to warn them. I'm alone now, but I get a small allowance until I find useful work.
: So it stops if you join a band?
: Yes, sir.
: Let's see what you've got.


Not the best, but not bad. I would have liked some melee defense and a little more fatigue. Those three stars in initiative should mean he's nigh-unhittable in the opening rounds of combat, and he'll do shitloads of damage with the right weaponry and perks.

: Well, you can rant all you want as long as you can also kill. We'll take a shot with you. Welcome to the Turtles.

Hiring complete, we outfit him in some mid-range armor:


The sword will have to wait (I sold off Gerey's old sword already). The Turtles head down to Salzfels for some more work and trade goods.


: We worked so hard to stomp them out. How did they come back?
: Thou knowest, sir. Killing the worshippers only works if the object of worship is an illusion. We could not kill him. His return was inevitable.
: I suppose so. Well, I'm in no position to fight that war again. Let's get to business.

Kalarion visits the weaponsmith with the intent of finding a Noble Sword for Boot. There aren't any, but there are some other tempting items:


: Hmmmm...

We bought another greatsword for Eyestabber several fights back, but Nemesis is still in need of an upgrade. And that hammer would be nice if we ever pick up another two-hander bro. The Fencing Sword is a specialist weapon for duelists. It has an ability whose damage scales with high initiative.

Kal ends up buying the Arming Sword and a dagger for Boot, and a shiny new greatsword and rondel for Nemesis. With that, the new roster is outfitted:


The new contract is a tracker for a small payout. It'll be a good chance to blood Boot. We take it. The thieves aren't far away:




Normally a fight like this wouldn't merit commentary, but it's Boot's first. It begins as expected, with the enemy Marksmen whiffing their shots. The back line wait for our front line to charge forward and provide cover. OnTilt immediately runs for the high ground, followed by the rest of the bruisers. Up north, the shieldbros advance cautiously and form a shieldwall. The back line advances, getting off a headshot on the flail Raider that crushes his windpipe.

The next round starts off by the numbers. The flail Raider rushes forward, windpipe and all, to swing ineffectually at our shield line. The pike Raider gets off a head shot on Eyestabber. What's that mean now that he's got massive armor? Well...

: It's like from before but better

: Whiteshark, put the newbie through his paces. Let's get an idea what he can do.
: By thy command, sergeant. Boot! Thy first assignment.
Boontaker holds on his action, observing Boot's performance. The sword-and-board Raider swipes at Eyestabber but does less than nothing to him. Eyestabber doesn't even bother to comment.

: <whistling cheerfully> doing Anselm's work.
: Hey! Wait, no!


: That was supposed to be Boot's target dummy!
: Aw, man!
: Nobody said anything!
: I mean he was right there, almost dead! You can't expect us not to pincushion that!
: FINE. Whiteshark, take him on maneuvers.
: Indeed. Boot, mirror my advance. You shall have the flank.
: Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy

Down south, Hauberk lands a just-as-planned on the javelin Raider. He doesn't do much damage but he doesn't need to, piercing through the Raider's armor and right into his chest. OnTilt charges forward to engage him in melee as well. Eyestabber gashes the pike Raider's artery with a well-timed Split.

Nemesis continues making copious use of Footwork to position himself to threaten the pike Raider in melee. I never realized how powerful Footwork could be for bruiser positioning. I don't know if I'd usually give up one of my standard Perk choices for it, but so far it's been very useful.

Whiteshark charges forward.
: Boot! Position thyself upon my flank.
: On my way!

This is Kalarion's first fight with his new helmet.

Raider: What the **** is that!
Raider: Is that a knight?!
: <heavy breathing>

The two Marksmen fire off some shots to close out their round, doing nothing. Irenaeus wants to rush the high ground behind Whiteshark and Cogemeister (Boot hasn't gone yet), but Pathfinder can't handle that many height changes.
: Dammit!

He settles for the next highest spot. Boot, with no Pathfinder at all, can't charge forward as far as I'd like. He does manage to complete the shield line and anchor the north by the boulder though.


Boontaker whiffs an easy shot on the axe-thrower Raider. The continued +1s to melee skill offered are really starting to tell on his build.
: Something has to be done about this.

Eyestabber gets another poke from the pike Raider that does ****-all. OnTilt takes a hit but it's hard to even see the damage on his armor bar.
: First the enemies of the Emperor, now this. I hope we find more suitable enemies sometime soon. This trash...
Raider: Hey!
: Oh well, someone has to take it out I suppose. Hauberk!
: Not a problem.


A bunch of pinpricks and mosquito bites later, it's finally time for the bruisers.
: Right.


The slaughter continues apace with Irenaeus landing a pair of javelin throws on the sword Raider, pinning his arm to his ribcage. Whiteshark lands another shot, bringing the Raider to less than 5 hp. Cogemeister is up next-
: Hold, Cogemeister. We shall put Boot through paces.
: A-aye, bro.

Down south, Kalarion steps into the gap created by OnTilt's kill. He bags a kill of his own, gutting one of the Marksmen with a Split.
: Boot! Thy time hath come.
: YAY!

: Yay!
: Cherry: popped
: I was born for this

Nemesis casually Swings, causing the raiders around him to break and flee. Eyestabber takes advantage of Nemesis' setup with a foign:


: Talk to us when you can do that, newbie

And with that, the fight is over. One more blooded Turtle. Meanwhile, Eyestabber dinged again:


He takes Battle-forged as his perk, rounding out his kit as a battlefield juggernaut. He's got three more perks to go. This should be good. The Turtles head back to Salzfels, sell off some loot, buy salt and supplies, then head for Waidhof, en route to Reinbruch. The sole available contract is a delivery to El-Hadet.
: No thanks.

Prices are high in town due to recent villager disappearances, and with no quest to fix it, there doesn't seem much point in staying. Onward!
: Boontaker!
: Sir!
: Change of plans, we're heading to Eichholz.
: ...but why?
: I have a good reason.

(I completely forgot why I did this )

En route:


<running up in the failing light>: Sir!

Horns begin skirling close by.

: For ****'s sake. How many?
: ...a lot.
: Great. Thanks for the heads up!
: It's ******* dark and we're in a forest!
: Nevermind. Get back with the men and let's form up.



Not exactly the best setup. The Thralls take the initiative, charging into melee with Boontaker in the south, and Irenaeus in the west. Irenaeus, first to act this round, wisely holds his action in the hope one of the Turtles can extricate himself from the situation he finds himself in. There's some additional Turtle shuffling, including Boontaker trying and failing to land a shot before popping Adrenaline Rush. Whiteshark and Eyestabber close out a gap to the north, while Cogemeister moves to support Boontaker. Nemesis takes Cogemeister's spot, chest-to-chest with one of the Thralls.

: Oh. Hello

With the end of the round approaching and no immediate options available to move safely out of melee, Irenaeus risks a chad-walk.
: Pardon me, places to go, people to-


: OW! You'll pay for that!

Luckily, the second attempt succeeds. Irenaeus is safe for now. OnTilt takes his old spot, with the bonus of dropping the Thrall to Wavering.

Round two opens with Boontaker landing an impaling shot on the Thrall next to him, achieving a one-shot!
: Yay!
: FINALLY! I REALLY need to do something about this.

He's now theoretically free to retire behind the beefier Turtles. Unfortunately Boontaker never saw the need for Pathfinder, and so doesn't currently have the AP necessary to do so in a forest setting. He'll have to hold the remainder of his AP to allow Hauberk or Cogemeister to move, and hope another Thrall doesn't rush into melee in the meantime.

Next, every single Thrall gets their turn first, wasting it on ineffectual attacks and attempts to close into melee. Finally, Hauberk gets his turn. He elects to move slightly north and contribute to pelting a lone Thrall to death with Irenaeus and Ventilator:


: Dammit!

Ventilator is able to land a solid shot from his protected position. Further west, Boot quickly dispatches the Thrall that hit Irenaeus earlier.
: I was made for this
: ...

The rest of the round is pretty pedestrian, with Nemesis landing a solid blow on his target. Eyestabber reliably shakes things up, double-killing off a Swing!

: Oh, the newbie got a kill! Anyways.

Kalarion follows suit on his pair:

: Oh, the newbie got a kill! Anyways.


This round opens with some concerning events. In the south, Boontaker is once again forced into melee due to being unable to create enough distance from the charging Thralls last round. In the east, a Thrall rings OnTilt's bell, stunning him for the round. Luckily no serious blows are landed.

: Our turn

Hauberk opens with an unfortunate whiff, but Ventilator makes up for it with a throw that nearly kills the Thrall on Boontaker outright.
: Thanks!
: No problem sergeant. Sure does suck not being able to move through the forest, huh?
:

Irenaeus, still somewhat shaken from the whack he received, misses both his throws at OnTilt's stunner. Boot moves slightly north to close another gap through which another Thrall (there were a LOT of Thralls in this fight, if you guys didn't notice) was moving. Boontaker winds up and...


: Anselm! Enough is enough!

He pops Adrenaline Rush again, hoping for favorable conditions next round. Nemesis beheads his target, then moves west a bit, revealing yet another Thrall hiding in a bush.
: Oh. Hello

Cogemeister demolishes his Thrall. The Thrall is battered and bruised but (barely) still standing. Eyestabber... misses?
: DAMMIT!
: Fear not, brother.

Whiteshark finishes the Thrall off. He takes the opportunity to surround Cogemeister's target. Kalarion quickly moves west to close in on the Thralls attempting to run a train on Boontaker. The Thralls are appropriately terrified:


: It feels so good to obliterate you *******

Boontaker takes advantage of his adrenaline rush at the start of round 4 to completely whiff once again.
:

Luckily, the Thralls immediately threatening him have absolutely absymal melee skill and whiff all four shots. The rest of the Thralls' part of the round is laughably boring, with no hits landed whatsoever.

Hauberk, not wanting Boontaker to feel alone, promptly whiffs as well. So does Irenaeus.
: Thanks bros <sniffle>
: ...

Ventilator breaks the streak, killing the Thrall meleeing Boontaker with his first throw. His followup smashes open the ribs of the axe thrower. Things are looking up! Up north, Boot continues merrily slicing targets to ribbons:

: <whistling>

Nemesis and Kalarion demolish their targets. This battle started 11-18. By the end of round 4 it's 11-6. Not bad. One of the Drummers closes out the round by running away like a little *****.



The final round opens with every un-engaged Thrall following the Drummer's lead. It's just the poor fucks still in melee left now. The slaughter is unremarkable. Loot is too, with some spare supplies and a couple sale items. The Turtles ruck up for the remainder of the trip to Eichholz. A couple other enemy parties threaten the Turtles, one in particular.

: It's a big group, but they're well-organized, sir. Probably have a leader with them.


: We can deal with them later if they're foolish enough to still be around. Let's go.

But then...


: Captain...
: I know, I KNOW. One day Anselm will stop testing us.

: Hauberk, go link up with that caravan. Let them know what's coming and coordinate for our arrival.
: Yes, sergeant.
: Good thinking. Let's go.
: Aye!

We get a nice little Christmas surprise. This was apparently an Army supply caravan!


I mean, does this really need a play-by-play?

The Raiders are thoroughly sodomized and killed in various ways. The only event of note is that we manage to land the killing shiv on the Leader, giving us any loot from his body. We get a nice heavy helmet. It's a pretty decent upgrade for Eyestabber. Slaughter complete, and the caravan appropriately greatful, the Turtles make the final hike into town.

Whiteshark dings:


He takes Indomitable as his perk. He is now a nearly-unhittable, nearly-unstunnable wall. Two perks left too. What a guy!

I take care of Boot's first ding myself:


The rest will be up to him, but Student is non-negotiable (I don't care what you say @Ratcatcher!!).

Ah! Now I remember, we have a slot to fill and I'm trying to find a Wildman for it. There are none in Eichholz.

: Pack up, Turtles! Time to go back.
: <groan>

We conduct the long slog back to Salzfels. The only event of note was an attempt to rescue a trade caravan, which failed due to a game bug. We slaughter the Raiders anyways.

Suddenly, just outside Waidhof:

: ****.

---

MERRY CHRISTMAS BROS! I'm sorry I've been lazy so long. I'll try to get back in the saddle. I still have plenty of material waiting for use, so content won't be a problem at least.

[boot]

Boot must fight with sword and buckler or he suffers from quickhands(take that perk)

[boot]

And get me a bandana, don't need no stinking helmet for thralls

[boot]

Also, don't forget to attack a caravan if funds get low sir

[Nemesis]

MERRY CHRISTMAS BROS! I'm sorry I've been lazy so long. I'll try to get back in the saddle. I still have plenty of material waiting for use, so content won't be a problem at least.

It's a Christmas miracle!

[Irenaeus]

A Christmas miracle! Thank you, @Kalarion

[boot]

Prioritize mdef, mattack, and hp, in that order, sir

[Kalarion]

DOGS OF WEILBURG, cont.

: Dornwacht soldiers, sir. A small cohort, but fully staffed. They've got arbalesters, a standard-bearer and a sergeant.


: Boontaker! Change of plans, we're going to Reinbruch.
: Aye, sir.

If we're going to fight enemy house troops out in the field, not tied to a mission or a payday, we're **** well going to do it on our terms. At least near a friendly city we'll get some militia to use as fodder.

Kalarion treats the men to a night on the town in Reinbruch.
: Yay!

Revelry complete, Reinhardt purchases some trade goods and offloads some extra equipment. After taking their sweet time in town, the Turtles set out the next day for Riedland. On the way:


: ...
: I'm just saying, sir. You saw how I did in the last couple fights! And we both know I've got the inside line on the Hex-Alp collusion. I'm just asking for what we all know I'm worth.
: ...
: Well sir?
: I'm thinking.


: <muttering> dammit, no, that would drive him off. He's a ****** but he's got potential.

Kalarion looks at Boot.


: I just want to say...!
: Choose your next words very, very, very, very carefully.
: ...I just want to say, I understand, sir.
: Wise. Your pay will be commensurate with your performance. Of that you may be sure. Dismissed.
: Sir.

Boot didn't like that one bit:


Midway to Riedland, Kalarion changes his mind yet again. We've still got a hole in the roster, and it has some specific requirements:
@Gregz : "a Wildman of any stripe."

Wildmen come from forest towns and (I think?) northern settlements. Kalarion wants that spot taken care of. The Turtles turn around and head for Waidhof. Just outside town:


: Sir, Dornwacht is pillaging the town.
: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!
: I don't have time for this ****. Boontaker! Get us back on the road to Riedland.
: ...
: Shut up.
: ...
: YES I KNOW. Get moving.

The Turtles get back on the road. But just outside Salzfels:


: Sir! Grubenfeste soldiers ahead of us!
: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!
: ...
: FINE! Boontaker, get us ready. Ventilator, what are we facing?
: Not sure, I ran back as soon as I saw them.
: Unknown house force at night! Great! What could go wrong!
: Well, we could run into the Hex-Alp...
: SHUT UP!

Given this is a night fight, Boontaker quickly orders our firing squad to switch to pikes. They'll be practically useless with their ranged weapons in a fight like this.

The first round is mostly spent getting within vision of each other, along with slaughtering two dogs, courtesy of Boontaker, OnTilt and Nemesis:

: Look at all you soft *******, you're so close I can practically taste your blood, this is going to be so good!

Eyestabber took advantage of a golden opportunity to rush into melee with two of the enemy pikemen! Everyone is looking forward to what he can do in round 2. Kalarion also managed to land a crushing blow on one of the footmen.

Boontaker opens round 2. He moves slightly forward and lands a decent shot on Nemesis' footman, causing a second morale drop. Irenaeus continues landing piercing blows, this time on another footman that had just moved to clinch the line.

: Say, these pikes are pretty easy to use. No wonder Boontaker likes the company standard!
: ...

The next half of the round is just the lines grinding. The enemies land some hard shots, especially on Eyestabber, whose armor is now in rough condition. But he makes it to his turn. He lines up a monster Swing...

: <groan>
: Hey! It was ok! Look at that guy's leg!
: Sure, Eyestabber.
: You did great man.
: Adequate. Perfectly adequate.
: I mean I just thought you were this psycho murderkiller is all. I'll just readjust my expectations, no problem.
:

Of course, OnTilt at least can't talk much, as he proceeds to whiff his attack. Another of the pikemen takes a bite out of Eyestabber, whose armor is now in shabby condition. This could be trouble.

Then:

: Planned

Nemesis lines up a Swing as well... and also hits one target. Disappointing bruiser squad performance so far. At least his hit causes a wound and drops morale on the footman.

: Sometimes you just have to do it yourself.


: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Footman: Sweet ANSELM!
Footman: I just ****** my armor!

: Some day... <sniffle>

Kalarion casually follows up with a Killing Frenzy-powered smashing blow to the remaining footman in range, completely destroying his armor and dropping him to less than half health.



The enemy's southern line is completely shattered, and the pikemen are now exposed to a melee rush from OnTilt. The remaining enemy arbalester fires off a shot at Cogemeister that handily misses. Boontaker retaliates with a solid shot on one of the wounded footmen, bringing armor to half and health to about 25%. Irenaeus misses his attack, but Ventilator doesn't, spearing Irenaeus's target to bring him to critical health levels. Things are starting to look up!

: Things are starting to look-


: AHHHHWHATTHE-!
Footman: Oh. Hello there
: Hey! That's my line!

Hauberk immediately tries for a shot on the new threat but whiffs on a low hit chance. Meanwhile, the enemy pikemen try to capitalize on Eyestabber's wooziness, taking 3 shots. All of which miss!
: ******* I learned to shuck and jive by the truest master ever. I paid attention to every single one of Oystersauce's lessons, this is NOTHING.

OnTilt takes this opportunity to make good on his threatened rush, moving in front of Eyestabber and taking a casual swing:

: Knock knock!

The remainder of the enemy line tries to reform and brace, with the footmen shielding and riposting for all they're worth.

Nemesis has other ideas.
: Oh. Hello there


Footman: AIEEEEEEE!
: I told you that was MY LINE!

Nemesis wanted to do a foign to follow up but unfortunately doesn't have the fatigue. He settles for a whalloping blow on the fleeing footman, bringing him to invisible health levels. Whiteshark misses what is now his sixth attempt to hit that ******* remaining dog, and Kalarion follows suit. Eyestabber, now completely disengaged as his melee footman is fleeing, takes the opportunity to execute a tactical retreat.

The fleeing footman tries to flee to close the round out. He is casually dispatched by Nemesis.

Round 4 opens with every single one of our pike attacks missing. Boontaker pops Adrenaline Rush but he'll have to soldier through the next round. Luckily, the footman, perhaps shaken by developments on the line, shieldwalls and only attacks once. He hits, and completely destroys Boontaker's armor:


But he can't follow up this round. Boontaker has some breathing space. Down south, the crumbling line tries desperately to rally. One of the pikemen lands a solid shot on OnTilt, significantly damaging his armor.
: I don't think you people understand how this is going to go.


OnTilt makes use of his berserk charge to reposition in front of the pikeman that hit him earlier. The last pikeman to act whiffs his shot.

Boot steps up to help Whiteshark but misses his shot. Cogemeister moves to help Boontaker, but also misses his shield slam. Nemesis positions for next round, while Kalarion steps forward into another devastating foign. He uses his berserk charge to move into melee with the 3 remaining enemy men. The fat lady is clearly warming up at this point.


Boontaker opens round 5 with a predictable miss (the combination of melee range and a heater shield is difficult for him to overcome). The AW@*I$O% DOGGO continues yapping uselessly at Whiteshark while proving infuriatingly hard to kill. Irenaeus finally manages to land a shot on it.
: GIT, you mangy mutt!

Down south, one of the pikemen lands another telling hit on OnTilt, nearly destroying his armor. OnTilt casually retaliates, pulverizing the man's leg and dropping him to 10% health. The footman finally wises up and goes all-out on Boontaker, but only hits once. It still hurts like a ************, but Boontaker should be okay for now. Meanwhile, Cogemeister lands both of his shots. They devastate the footman's armor, but unfortunately one is a head shot and the other a body shot. The footman is still in decent shape for now.

Nemesis, again hamstrung by his low max fatigue, is unable to foign. He settles for a killing blow on one of the pikemen, then steps forward to surround the arbalester. Whiteshark finally hits the dog, finishing it off, followed by Kalarion one-shotting the arbalester.

It's over.


We're full up on loot. Our next retinue upgrade may need to be the wagon. We end up having to leave behind some loot, and drop some of what we were carrying to make room for more valuable stuff from the battle. Finally, the Turtles are ready to head out.
: Boontaker, take us to Riedland. We need to offload this loot, and we need to visit the Temple, and I want a ******* drink.
: Aye, sir!
: Yay!

Two seconds later...



: <huffing as he runs up> Sir! Sergeant!
: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!
: We could just run, sir.
: We could WHAT?!
: We're in kinda **** condition sir. And it's night time, it should be easy for us to bug out.
: Hmmmm...
: What the ****! I didn't sign up to show my *** to a bunch of pansy ******* wearing some lordling's colors!
: Sound the retreat.
: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!
: Yay!

We immediately beat feet.


As soon as we leave the battle we make a beeline for Riedland. This time we make it.

Riedland is strangely celebratory.
: What's going on sir?
: I don't know. Some kind of festival maybe?

Whiteshark reads a poster as they walk through town. He rushes to Kalarion.
: Sir! Look!

Kalarion looks.
: Sweet Anselm. We... we did it. Weilburg won!!
: YAY!


...

: Nnnnnguuuuuh...
: Ooogurp
: I-I don't feel so good.
: And yet again, virtue is its own reward
: SHUT UP!

: My house's pardon for Sir Hermann's behavior last night, captain.
: Weilburg is grateful for your contribution to our victory, and I was happy to host your men.
: Water under the bridge. Let us know if you have any work lined up, eh?
: Indeed!

THE END OF: Dogs of Weilburg
In which the Turtles prosecute and win a Great War Between Houses

[Kalarion]

Okay, so the crisis ended a little more abruptly than I thought I remembered from when I played this session. I was sure we had a couple more big House fights left, but apparently not. But hey! A win's a win! And I consider it eminently appropriate that we beat the crisis on the heels of running away from a fight that the Turtles were just too lazy to bother with!

TIME FOR YOU GUYS TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

We've beaten the first Crisis, which is technically considered the win condition for a run. We could stop the LP here with a retirement and close out the LP.

We could also keep going. I have at least another session still ready to go from the last time I played, and I've had a fuzzy idea of an overall storyline for this LP in my head for awhile. We've still got several people in the queue waiting to get a character (I'm considering taking Gregz out since he doesn't come to the forum anymore, but I'm torn on that). We can stop any time, but my head canon is that we keep going with these Turtles until either (1) TPK, or (2) We manage to beat all of the legendary fights... and however many additional crises that would take us to complete.

Or we could compromise and close this LP out to start a new company, with a new background and goals. Or something completely different!

It's up to you guys, let me know your opinions.

EDIT: Also @Oystersauce's son has not yet joined the Turtles and learned to use gats handgonnes. Food for thought!

[Nemesis]

This was a satisfying ending. I'm okay with starting a new company.

[boot]

Give boot iron jaw and let's hunt legendary gear until we're all dead.