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The Ubislop Zelda Games (BotW & TotK)

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Lord of Riva
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Post by Lord of Riva »

These games are massive decline. I have only played the first because why would I play the second?

Of course the "modern audiences" lap it up but they have neither
interesting content: The shrines are just ****
interesting mechanics: from climbing to how hearts are obtained to the weapon degradtion
Setting: It's just a empty world with pointless monster encounters in it, it looks kinda *** and the npcs are not interesting either

The only good thing about BOTW are the few dungeons there are and those are merely decent and they are still miles behind the dungeons of the older titles, incredbly short and as said, few.

That these games succeeded will harm the prospects of any further LoZ game for decades, this kind of reinvention of an old series is a huge middle finger to the audience that made the franchise big, which is still true even if loads of them also like these games. In 10 years they will all cry that there has not been a "real" LoZ around for ages, after they hve enabled the decline.
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Vergil wrote: June 24th, 2024, 07:29
TKVNC wrote: June 24th, 2024, 07:20
All Nintendo games are realistically kids games.
FTFY
The target audience for Nintendo games is much lower than the average game. Them putting sexual content in it at all is just disgusting.
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Post by Vergil »

I feel bad for classic Zelda fans. For me I would like this direction to be continued and refined with some better mechanics but it is unfortunate that instead of a new IP an existing one had to be torn apart and reformed into it. As someone who liked classic God of War I'm no stranger to seeing a series turned into something completely different and midwits praise it. In an ideal world there would be room for both but it's highly unlikely. Nintendo can barely handle a single game in a franchise without long hiatuses.
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Vergil »

rusty_shackleford wrote: June 24th, 2024, 07:43
The target audience for Nintendo games is much lower than the average game. Them putting sexual content in it at all is just disgusting.
No games should have sexual content.
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by J-12 »

Boring-*** game for children with ADHD. Played PC port with 40 fps back in the days when it just came out and was masturbated on by every youtuber out there. It is literally family-friendly skyrim minus ability to pile up mods onto it.
I remember hating the puzzle-dungeons the most, it takes like 10 seconds to figure out what to do and then 2-5 minutes to move all the blocks or boulders and all the other crap game makes you do.
Last edited by J-12 on June 24th, 2024, 10:51, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by maidenhaver »

And Skyrim was already family friendly. Its swords looked like nerf toys, and the quests were mostly about killing zombies. Botw is more sexualized.
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Post by Irenaeus »

Greyborne wrote: June 24th, 2024, 00:37
Vergil wrote: June 24th, 2024, 00:33
Tweed wrote: June 24th, 2024, 00:29
People gettin' mad that Nintendo is finally catering to their biggest audience in the Zelda fandom.
It is something I'm kind of curious about. I guess really it's just expected that mentally stunted freaks would latch onto a game franchise they played as children but the Zelda fanbase being so filled with ****** up ****** freaks is a little bizarre considering how traditional the setting and characters are. Link is an aryan chaste knight who is sworn to defend a feudal monarchy from the forces of an ugly semitic ******. Not a lot for libtards to be attracted to!
I always thought Ganondorf was a representation of a jew. Big nose, red hair, from the desert..
I always thought he looked like an arab sorceror

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Last edited by Irenaeus on June 24th, 2024, 12:05, edited 2 times in total.
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Post by Irenaeus »

Vergil wrote: June 24th, 2024, 07:45
I feel bad for classic Zelda fans.
Yeah, Twilight Princess on the ****** wii sucked, havent played anything past that.
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Post by Vlajdimir Ermenović »

They're just a shittier version of Crackdown.
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Post by J-12 »

I never played a single zelda game before this one, i grew up playing stuff like Half-life 1-2, GTA 3/VC/SA, the original Hitman quadrilogy, Fallout 1-2, Far-Cry 1, Max Payne 1-2, and a bunch of other 2000's classic. Someone would say that it's wrong for kids to play that, but i wouldn't have it any other way.
So as someone rather tempted in the question of videogames, when i played this i did not understood it. Like who's even the core audience for this, kindergardeners? They won't likely to get trough half of these puzzles. Teens? The gameplay is too simplistic, bland even.
But then i saw the nintendo fanboys doing their best impression of soyjak and it all suddenly both made sense and felt very wrong. It's a game for manchildren of the most infantile kind. And i say that as someone who considers himself somewhat of a manchild.
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Post by Irenaeus »

J-12 wrote: June 24th, 2024, 12:18
Like who's even the core audience for this, kindergardeners?
The originals were for kids 6+

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Last edited by Irenaeus on June 24th, 2024, 12:24, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Vergil »

Once again running into how ****** the content in this game is. The shrines really are extremely awful and lopsided. The shrine quests are even worse than the shrines themselves in this regard. One shrine quest is waiting until the right time of day and then shooting at the sun. That gives you the exact same reward as Eventide Island which makes you do a series of minor puzzles whilst giving you the challenge of stripping you of all equipment on an island full of enemies and limited resources. The effort, difficulty, and time commitment are completely irrelevant. No matter what you're walking out of there with one (1) spirit orb which is only 1/4 (0.25) of a meaningful upgrade.
Vlajdimir Ermenović wrote: June 24th, 2024, 12:11
They're just a shittier version of Crackdown.
I don't necessarily agree but this makes more sense as a statement than it initially seems
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Vergil »

FInal boss was really lame and boring. You could very easily beat this from the beginning if you can keep yourself awake long enough to parry and dodge everything.
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by WhiteShark »

Have you started TotK yet?
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Vergil
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Post by Vergil »

WhiteShark wrote: June 26th, 2024, 08:02
Have you started TotK yet?
Very, very briefly just seeing if I can get it running viably for a full playthrough. Ryujinx seems to run it "okay" (stable-ish 30fps).
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Vlajdimir Ermenović »

Vergil wrote: June 24th, 2024, 23:12
Vlajdimir Ermenović wrote: June 24th, 2024, 12:11
They're just a shittier version of Crackdown.
I don't necessarily agree but this makes more sense as a statement than it initially seems
It's true where it counts. Everyone praised botw on release for how oh-so organic it is, you can head to the boss stages whenever you want, you have to organically upgrade your skills, you can do whatever you want with the game's assets, yadda yadda... but Crackdown did all that 10 years prior! Granted, botw was a lot more detailed, but also a lot more diluted with superfluous dog **** like cooking and armour sets, meaning it had way less of an idea of what it was doing. Have some focus, for God's sake. I'm so tired of everyone trying to be everyone else.
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Post by Greyborne »

Vlajdimir Ermenović wrote: June 27th, 2024, 20:50
Vergil wrote: June 24th, 2024, 23:12
Vlajdimir Ermenović wrote: June 24th, 2024, 12:11
They're just a shittier version of Crackdown.
I don't necessarily agree but this makes more sense as a statement than it initially seems
It's true where it counts. Everyone praised botw on release for how oh-so organic it is, you can head to the boss stages whenever you want, you have to organically upgrade your skills, you can do whatever you want with the game's assets, yadda yadda... but Crackdown did all that 10 years prior! Granted, botw was a lot more detailed, but also a lot more diluted with superfluous dog **** like cooking and armour sets, meaning it had way less of an idea of what it was doing. Have some focus, for God's sake. I'm so tired of everyone trying to be everyone else.
But that begs to ask, has everything, within technological capabilities, been tried? So we're just constantly building upon existing formulas? I'm not a game developer, so idk. But I share the opinion that there's nothing new under the sun.
I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
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Post by Vergil »

Vlajdimir Ermenović wrote: June 27th, 2024, 20:50
Vergil wrote: June 24th, 2024, 23:12
Vlajdimir Ermenović wrote: June 24th, 2024, 12:11
They're just a shittier version of Crackdown.
I don't necessarily agree but this makes more sense as a statement than it initially seems
It's true where it counts. Everyone praised botw on release for how oh-so organic it is, you can head to the boss stages whenever you want, you have to organically upgrade your skills, you can do whatever you want with the game's assets, yadda yadda... but Crackdown did all that 10 years prior! Granted, botw was a lot more detailed, but also a lot more diluted with superfluous dog **** like cooking and armour sets, meaning it had way less of an idea of what it was doing. Have some focus, for God's sake. I'm so tired of everyone trying to be everyone else.
I thought cooking was enjoyable just to easy to exploit and end up with infinite super giga healing items for very little effort. Also I like getting to play dress up the game would be way worse without that.
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Greyborne »

Ran into a guy at Taco Bell last night who said BOTW is one of the best RPGs ever made.
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Post by maidenhaver »

Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:24
Ran into a guy at Taco Bell last night who said BOTW is one of the best RPGs ever made.
Weirdest cracker you know.
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Post by Vergil »

Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:24
Ran into a guy at Taco Bell last night who said BOTW is one of the best RPGs ever made.
Did you own him in a debate right then and there?
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Zothique »

Proud to say I've never played ANY Zelda game. **** Nintendo.
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Post by Greyborne »

Vergil wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:38
Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:24
Ran into a guy at Taco Bell last night who said BOTW is one of the best RPGs ever made.
Did you own him in a debate right then and there?
Eh, he was the typical stereotype of the soyjak with a bunch of mediocre Nintendo tattoos, so I reserved myself. That convo would have went nowhere.
Last edited by Greyborne on June 27th, 2024, 21:42, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Zothique wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:40
Proud to say I've never played ANY Zelda game. **** Nintendo.
Play one
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Post by Zothique »

Oyster Sauce wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:42
Zothique wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:40
Proud to say I've never played ANY Zelda game. **** Nintendo.
Play one
What's your recommendation?
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Zothique wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:43
Oyster Sauce wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:42
Zothique wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:40
Proud to say I've never played ANY Zelda game. **** Nintendo.
Play one
What's your recommendation?
Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker, or Breath of the Wild are good starting points for the 3D entries. Link's Awakening or Minish Cap for 2D.
Capcom actually made my favorite Zelda games: the Oracle series.
Last edited by Oyster Sauce on June 27th, 2024, 21:52, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by maidenhaver »

Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:41
Vergil wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:38
Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:24
Ran into a guy at Taco Bell last night who said BOTW is one of the best RPGs ever made.
Did you own him in a debate right then and there?
Eh, he was the typical stereotype of the soyjak with a bunch of mediocre Nintendo tattoos, so I reserved myself. That convo would have went nowhere.
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Post by Greyborne »

Oyster Sauce wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:47
Zothique wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:43
What's your recommendation?
Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker, or Breath of the Wild are good starting points for the 3D entries. Link's Awakening or Minish Cap for 2D.
bruh, no Majora's Mask? Reverse song of time and the game easily becomes one of the best in the franchise. Loved the concept of stalking all the clocktown citizens and observing their schedules. A lot of hidden details in everything, and still the best quests.
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Post by Vergil »

Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:41
Vergil wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:38
Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:24
Ran into a guy at Taco Bell last night who said BOTW is one of the best RPGs ever made.
Did you own him in a debate right then and there?
Eh, he was the typical stereotype of the soyjak with a bunch of mediocre Nintendo tattoos, so I reserved myself. That convo would have went nowhere.
So you lost?
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Greyborne »

Vergil wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:54
Greyborne wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:41
Vergil wrote: June 27th, 2024, 21:38

Did you own him in a debate right then and there?
Eh, he was the typical stereotype of the soyjak with a bunch of mediocre Nintendo tattoos, so I reserved myself. That convo would have went nowhere.
So you lost?
A sacrifice, I am willing to make.
I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy.