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Medieval Rimworld Chapter 15: A Return To Form (finale)

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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Chapter 10: The Evil Cannibal Cult


Cultists of Horax have come. They begin a ritual that will psychically kidnap one of us if it's allowed to be preformed.

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Our fighters assemble and head off towards the summoning circle. Skull Smasher was working pretty far away so he'll be delayed.

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It's halfway finished by the time our rangers, now equipped with crossbows, get a volley off.

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We've gotta push through quickly.

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Vitya gets horrible gored by the cultist's boar spear. He'll definitely die unless we can clear some space and have someone tend to him on the battlefield.

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William gets skewered by the same enemy and is in an even worse state.

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Hoss gets knocked out, but we defeat the two in front of us. Vergil does something to William that stops his bleeding when nobody is looking. Our crossbowmen pincusion an enemy archer. We're almost at their leader now, though he has two bodyguards still at full strength near him.

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Elias manages to get the summoner in the gut with a crossbow bolt, which stops the ritual. What's left of our battered melee squad pushes up.

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Feeb bests Bonecrusher only to be instantly decapitated by Skull Smasher in return. Bonecrusher is in a pretty bad state, losing an ear and a paw to the ritual dagger.

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The battle was won, but with several close calls. Oscar and Kala are patched up in the field by Lathandra and Lemon, those who can walk carry back those who can't. If only we had some new craftsmen we would be able to forge armor more quickly!

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Boontaker chips away at the mountain.

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Kala has a mental breakdown due to the pain from his wounds and digs up the corpse of Old Man. Hi, Old Man! He slams the skelly down on the dining table for all to see.

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Vitya also snaps and declares that he's going to murder Camille. Skull Smasher throws him in a cell to cool off.

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Bonecrusher's wife gives birth to a hyena pup who immediately starts eating **** off of the floor. There are also baby turtles zooming around everywhere :turtle:

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We're seriously low on space to store ****, so we start throwing up a warehouse east of the industrial wing.

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An old man named Lance Gander wanders in, asking for a place to stay. He has ridiculously high melee skill.... but he's also almost 80 years old and covered in scars. No sense turning down an extra sword arm though.

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Winter is upon us. We have a decent stockpile of pemmican in the homes. Aside from that, we'll do as much hunting as we can to get by.

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Elias and Lathandra have a scrap.

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The church expands. There's now a bedroom for the priest (current priest is happy elsewhere) and a scriptorium. We can even send letters to other factions with our little crow fella.

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To his credit, he did find a bunch of rubies and amber deep in the mountain. Now it's just for fun though.

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We somehow built the warehouse around this megasloth. Not a bad emergency food supply.

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Vergil gathers everybody in the church to make the following announcements:
-Vampires are cool, and our friends, and should be worshiped. Eating people? Not so bad either.
-Alcohol and drugs will be prohibited going forward.
-Apostasy is abhorrent. **** apostates.
-Turtles, dogs, cats, and horses are to be venerated.
-Women are required to have their hair covered at all times.

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Immediately following these changes, clouds of ash choke the sun from the sky and a strange child is welcomed by Lord Stack into the community.

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-----------------------------------------------------



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Last edited by Oyster Sauce on October 24th, 2024, 16:18, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Luckmann »

Oyster Sauce wrote: October 24th, 2024, 15:28
Elias and Lathandra have a scrap.

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Rape! Rape! Raaaaaaaaaaaaape!
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Post by Tweed »

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Pwn the means of reproduction.
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Post by Vergil »

Oyster Sauce wrote: October 24th, 2024, 15:28
Vergil gathers everybody in the church to make the following announcements:
-Vampires are cool, and our friends, and should be worshiped. Eating people? Not so bad either.
Partaking of the Eucharist just got a little more literal
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I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Stack of Turtles »

If I'm not mistaken, this new doctrine makes the peasants sad if the leader is not a vampire, right? :Inspector:
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Post by Luckmann »

Vergil wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:11
Partaking of the Eucharist just got a little more literal
Image
Is that goyslop? Because it feels like it's eeextremely specific. :lol: But if it is, I have to say that it has to be among the best goyslop I've seen.
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Post by Finarfin »

Luckmann wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:30
Vergil wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:11
Partaking of the Eucharist just got a little more literal
Image
Is that goyslop? Because it feels like it's eeextremely specific. :lol: But if it is, I have to say that it has to be among the best goyslop I've seen.
It says "MORBIRD" right in the lower right corner.
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Post by Jordy »

@Oyster Sauce Did you choose the ideology stuff or was it random?
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Post by Jordy »

Someone with Lance Gander's melee skill and age can't be unheard of. Indeed, Skullsmasher has heard tales of Lance Gander's deeds and recognises him for the legend he is. Skullsmasher will do his best to learn from him and make sure this legend never dies.

Edit: Also, lol @ Kala desecrating Old Man's corpse.
Last edited by Jordy on October 24th, 2024, 17:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Luckmann »

Finarfin wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:52
Luckmann wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:30
Vergil wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:11
Partaking of the Eucharist just got a little more literal
Image
Is that goyslop? Because it feels like it's eeextremely specific. :lol: But if it is, I have to say that it has to be among the best goyslop I've seen.
It says "MORBIRD" right in the lower right corner.
I have seen signed goyslop in the past, believe it or not. For all I know, it's just it trying its hand at "morbid".
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Jordy wrote: October 24th, 2024, 17:05
@Oyster Sauce Did you choose the ideology stuff or was it random?
(Real) Vergil chose when we earned enough development points
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Post by Irenaeus »

Here's my *****, ready to join the band:


-Iren "Iren" Aeus
-Male
-45
-Regular body, Whiteish skin, Brown hair, beard
-Favorite color: Green
-Childhood: Educated Squire
-Adulthood: Knight Errant
Traits: Brave, Brawler, Ascetic, Slow learner, Misogynist
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Post by Faceless_Sentinel »

@Oyster Sauce, did Vitya craft anything at all?
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Faceless_Sentinel wrote: October 24th, 2024, 19:30
@Oyster Sauce, did Vitya craft anything at all?
Most of the weapons/shields/helmets were made by him. Gloves and boots too, but they're harder to see. Nobody else has been forging metal equipment.
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Stack of Turtles wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:26
If I'm not mistaken, this new doctrine makes the peasants sad if the leader is not a vampire, right? :Inspector:
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Post by Acrux »

Something makes me think Vergil might not be an ordained Christian priest.
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Post by ArcaneLurker »

Acrux wrote: October 24th, 2024, 20:33
Something makes me think Vergil might not be an ordained Christian priest.
I apologize if my responses were not relevant to your needs. As an AI language model, I do not have personal beliefs or opinions, and I only provide responses based on the information provided to me.
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Post by Vergil »

Acrux wrote: October 24th, 2024, 20:33
Something makes me think Vergil might not be an ordained Christian priest.
You're coming dangerously close to receiving an anathema
I'm just stating the facts.
Question is are you going to gargle the truth or swallow?
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Post by Luckmann »

Vergil wrote: October 24th, 2024, 23:25
Acrux wrote: October 24th, 2024, 20:33
Something makes me think Vergil might not be an ordained Christian priest.
You're coming dangerously close to receiving an anathema
I think you misspelled "enema". Keep your disturbing fetishes to yourself. What happens at seminary is supposed to stay at seminary.
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Post by Luckmann »

Luckmann wrote: October 24th, 2024, 17:55
Finarfin wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:52
Luckmann wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:30
Is that goyslop? Because it feels like it's eeextremely specific. :lol: But if it is, I have to say that it has to be among the best goyslop I've seen.
It says "MORBIRD" right in the lower right corner.
I have seen signed goyslop in the past, believe it or not. For all I know, it's just it trying its hand at "morbid".
Oh, yeah, nevermind. I found the artist.
Image

:what:
Last edited by Luckmann on October 25th, 2024, 08:04, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by rusty_shackleford »

Luckmann wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:03
Luckmann wrote: October 24th, 2024, 17:55
Finarfin wrote: October 24th, 2024, 16:52


It says "MORBIRD" right in the lower right corner.
I have seen signed goyslop in the past, believe it or not. For all I know, it's just it trying its hand at "morbid".
Oh, yeah, nevermind. I found the artist.
Image

:what:
lmao at marty robbins
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Post by Finarfin »

Yes, I know. German not getting the joke but this is beyond pathetic from Cuckmann
since the actual artist is the first thing that pops up on a search.
https://x.com/morbirdart
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Post by Oyster Sauce »

Finarfin wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:39
Yes, I know. German not getting the joke but this is beyond pathetic from Cuckmann
since the actual artist is the first thing that pops up on a search.
https://x.com/morbirdart
Now we're talking

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Post by Acrux »

rusty_shackleford wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:33
Luckmann wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:03
Luckmann wrote: October 24th, 2024, 17:55
I have seen signed goyslop in the past, believe it or not. For all I know, it's just it trying its hand at "morbid".
Oh, yeah, nevermind. I found the artist.
Image

:what:
lmao at marty robbins
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Post by Tweed »

This is a jo...oh it IS a joke! Thank God. Poe's Law.
Last edited by Tweed on October 25th, 2024, 09:14, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Luckmann »

Finarfin wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:39
since the actual artist is the first thing that pops up on a search.
https://x.com/morbirdart
No it's not. All I found at first were the ****** and a bunch of print shops. I bet it's the same ***, anyway. :smug:
Tweed wrote: October 25th, 2024, 09:13
This is a jo...oh it IS a joke! Thank God. Poe's Law.
I wish to gods the one I found first was an elaborate joke, too. Where the **** is Noon at All when we need something killed? Noon, eat the *****.
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Post by Finarfin »

Luckmann wrote: October 25th, 2024, 09:41
Finarfin wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:39
since the actual artist is the first thing that pops up on a search.
https://x.com/morbirdart
No it's not. All I found at first were the ****** and a bunch of print shops. I bet it's the same ***, anyway. :smug:
Tweed wrote: October 25th, 2024, 09:13
This is a jo...oh it IS a joke! Thank God. Poe's Law.
I wish to gods the one I found first was an elaborate joke, too. Where the **** is Noon at All when we need something killed? Noon, eat the *****.
Image
Sure, the same ***. Bothering to have two completely different artstyles for no reason. The mental gymnastics you do sure are something.
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Post by Luckmann »

Finarfin wrote: October 25th, 2024, 09:45
Luckmann wrote: October 25th, 2024, 09:41
Finarfin wrote: October 25th, 2024, 08:39
since the actual artist is the first thing that pops up on a search.
https://x.com/morbirdart
No it's not. All I found at first were the ****** and a bunch of print shops. I bet it's the same ***, anyway. :smug:
Tweed wrote: October 25th, 2024, 09:13
This is a jo...oh it IS a joke! Thank God. Poe's Law.
I wish to gods the one I found first was an elaborate joke, too. Where the **** is Noon at All when we need something killed? Noon, eat the *****.
https://f.rpghq.org/A4yCcnGmhgMr.png?n= ... 114338.png
Sure, the same ***. Bothering to have two completely different artstyles for no reason. The mental gymnastics you do sure are something.
Take it easy there, googlefag, you might depose Vergil as the most perpetually butthurt. I'm not sure he's big on usurpation, no matter how much you tongue his anus. :toot:
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Post by Finarfin »

Why do I even bother with you ******?
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