- 5-7.webp (261.7 KiB) Viewed 1102 times
You turn around, pointing the gun at the clerk, the laser dot slowly moving up towards his forehead. He lunges forward, taking the gun from you, your retarded one handed, sideways grip making it very easy for him to disarm you.
- "Sir, I'm gonna ask you not to do that. If there's any particular model you're interested in, I'm here to help"
- "Yo muddafucka, I want this one"
- "That, sir, is a fully customized FN 5-7, complete with laser sights, custom grip and a high quality red dot sight. You cannot afford it. The ammo alone is probably worth more than your children"
- "Nigga, whaaat??!!"
- "I have something you might be more interested and would be more within your price range sir" - he opens a few drawers behind the counter. "Here"
- model 10.jpg (191.13 KiB) Viewed 1102 times
- "Yo, for shure brudda!"
- "Well, I'm gonna need to run a background check. Standard procedure as I'm sure you're aware, Mr...?"
- "George Floyd"
- "Right...let's see..."
The man seems distracted looking on his computer and making phone calls. Your entrepreneurial side tells you to seize the opportunity. You take the 5-7 from earlier, shoving it inside your underwear, near the asshole. Which is not gay, btw, all the homies do it. The gun fits nicely and you smile, thinking yous all tactical n' shieet.
- "Well that's very strange"
- "Whut cracka?!"
- "Your priors. Says here...you don't have ANY!?"
- "Damn straight, yo!"
- "Guess you must be one of those sneaky niggers, huh? Didn't get caught yet."
- "Ayo moddafucka, das raycist!"
- "Anyway, sign here, here and...here"
As you lean over the counter you hear the distinct sound of a gun dropping to the ground. You turn around to look and as you turn back the clerk is holding a pistol in his hand, his arms crossed and his face is clearly threatening. He's not pointing his gun at you, but the message is clear.
- "Leave. Now!"
You decide to miss this opportunity of becoming yet another innocent black man racially profiled by whites and killed while doing nothing wrong. You mumble something and kick a trash can on your way out. It's starting to get dark out there and most stores are either closed or are closing. You scream profanities at some old lady walking her dog out of frustration, her shock and fear over this free sample of diversity makes her trip and almost fall. Your primal rage is momentarily satisfied and you keep walking home. As you pass through an alley you hear someone call out your name:
- "HEY, George! Amigo!"
You turn and see a latinx man (?) in a blue suit, oddly overdressed considering he is in an alley by a trash can. You cautiously approach
- "Yo, how u know my name, pendejo?"
- "Well, it's my job to know. Call me Ricardo. I heard you had issues at the gun store, correct?"
- "MODDAFUCKA, YOU'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ME!? YOU CRAZY NIGGA?! IMMA SEND U MAKE TACOS BACK IN MEXICO, BITCH!!!"
- "EHHH, calma-te, calm down, amigo! My employer has what you need. The second amendment is our cause and yours was denied today for no reason, I hear"
- "And whachu sombrero-ass modefucka has to do with it!?"
- "Well, let's just say we provide firearms to groups traditionally marginalized by racist gun store owners"
- "YO, bout time! Shoudda led up with dat!"
- "Now, if you could please follow me to our mobile campaign headquarters"
As you hear the word "campaign" you notice he has a blue and red pin on his shirt with the picture of an Asian man. You wish you could read the words, but oh well:
- yee.jpg (101.43 KiB) Viewed 1102 times
- "That's Senator Yee. He's a champion for minorities and other marginalized groups. More importantly, he specializes in providing equal access to the means of wealth redistribution. He likes to call it 'Emancipatory Social Justice'"
- "Emma...The girl from Harry Potter?"
- "Nevermind. We're here"
You approach a large bus with American flags all over and the same Asian face you saw earlier painted in the middle. Ricardo gestures for you to step inside. You see a bunch of young people seated in groups, discussing over charts, looking at maps and browsing various social media pages. They all stop what they're doing and look at you, confused. They start whispering among themselves.
- "HEY, WHERE MUH GAT AT!?"
- "Just ignore them, they don't know what you're talking about. It's this way" he points to the back of the bus, where there's a curtain separating the bus in two sections.
You walk through the curtain and the scenario is completely different. Instead of a bunch of teenagers you see grown Asian men with tattoos and menacing expressions. Some are wearing bulletproof vests. A larger man approaches you and says something in Chinese to Ricardo. He proceeds to frisk you and then gestures for you to move further to the back of the bus. You are seated in front of the very Asian man whose face you keep seeing.
- "Welcome, friend! I'm Leeland Yee and it's always a pleasure to meet my constituents. Ricardo here tells me you've been denied service while attempting to exercise your second amendment rights, correct?"
- "DAS RITE!" despite Mr. Yee's friendly tone, you notice two men standing beside you with their hands inside their coat pockets
- "Well, that's a real shame. Let me tell you what I believe. I believe in emancipation. We Democrats are all for using the state to take from the rich whites and give to poor black people like yourself"
- "DAMN STRAIGHT!"
- "But the real question is, do you REALLY need the State, Mr. Floyd? The way I see things, you remain shackled and deprived of the means of acquiring whitey's wealth by yourself. It's a cruel system and I'm here to break it. So let's do some Emancipatory Social Justice, shall we?" he presses a button in his desk and the panel behind him flips over, revealing a small arsenal of handguns. One catches your eye and you point it out to him
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- "CHING CHONG, BOUT TIME YA FEEL ME!"
The two guards exchange some words in Chinese with Yee, but he handwaves them away.
- "Well then, I'll be taking that welfare money now, Mr. Floyd. I'm sure you understand how this works, correct?"
- "Ah...sure." you hand over the cash and he hands you the gun and a small plastic bag with a handful of bullets inside
- "Pleasure doing business. You can see yourself out now. Through the back door, if you please"
One guard opens the back door of the bus and "gently" pushes you out. You're back on the streets with your new investment. You make your way back to the apartment without incident and as you lay down to sleep, you can feel something. A powerful sensation overwhelms you, like you're back in the jungle and you just grabbed a banana from another monkey's dead paw. Triumph, conquest and limitless possibility are in your mind. Your melanin powers grow stronger.
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU REACHED NIGGER LEVEL 2!!!
- floyd2.PNG (1.56 MiB) Viewed 1102 times
Now you just have to decide how to best celebrate this achievement. DEMOCRACY DEPENDS ON YOUR VOTE, MEN!
