# Star Trek: Costanza
## Episode 1: The Pilot
[The scene is the bridge of the USS Costanza, a small Federation starship. The captain's chair is empty. The first officer, Commander T'Pol, a Vulcan woman, is in charge. She is calm and composed.]
T'POL: Status report.
[The helmsman, Lieutenant Paris, a human man, looks at his console.]
PARIS: We are on course for Starbase 12, Commander. Warp factor 6.
T'POL: Very well.
[The tactical officer, Lieutenant Worf, a Klingon man, grunts.]
WORF: Commander, I am picking up a distress signal from a nearby planet. It is faint and garbled.
T'POL: On screen.
[A view of the planet appears on the main screen. It is green and blue, with clouds and continents.]
T'POL: Magnify.
[The screen zooms in on a small island with a smoking volcano.]
T'POL: Enhance.
[The screen shows a group of humanoid aliens running away from the lava flow. They are wearing primitive clothes and carrying spears.]
T'POL: Who are they?
WORF: They are the Kazon-Ogla, Commander. A pre-warp civilization.
T'POL: How do you know that?
WORF: I have studied their culture and history, Commander. They are a proud and fierce people. They value honor and strength above all else.
T'POL: Fascinating.
PARIS: Commander, we are receiving another signal. It is from Starfleet Command.
T'POL: Put it through.
[A hologram of Admiral Janeway appears on the bridge.]
JANEWAY: Greetings, Commander T'Pol. I have an urgent message for Captain Costanza.
T'POL: Admiral Janeway. I regret to inform you that Captain Costanza is not on the bridge at the moment.
JANEWAY: Where is he?
T'POL: He is in his quarters, Admiral.
JANEWAY: Doing what?
T'POL: I do not know, Admiral.
JANEWAY: Well, find him and tell him to report to me immediately. This is a matter of utmost importance.
T'POL: Yes, Admiral.
JANEWAY: Janeway out.
[The hologram disappears.]
T'POL: Lieutenant Worf, locate Captain Costanza and inform him of the Admiral's message.
WORF: Aye, Commander.
[Worf leaves the bridge.]
PARIS: Commander, what do you think the Admiral wants with the Captain?
T'POL: I do not know, Lieutenant. But I am sure it is something serious.
PARIS: Maybe he's in trouble.
T'POL: Why do you say that?
PARIS: Well, you know how the Captain is. He's always getting into some kind of trouble.
T'POL: I do not understand what you mean by that.
PARIS: Come on, Commander. You've seen him in action. He's always lying, cheating, scheming, complaining...
T'POL: Those are human traits, Lieutenant. I do not judge them.
PARIS: Well, maybe you should. Because they're not very good traits for a starship captain.
T'POL: That is not for me to decide, Lieutenant. That is for Starfleet Command to decide.
PARIS: Well, maybe they've decided to fire him.
T'POL: That is unlikely, Lieutenant. Captain Costanza has been in command of this ship for over a year. He has completed many successful missions and earned many commendations.
PARIS: Yeah, but he's also caused many problems and made many enemies.
T'POL: Such as?
PARIS: Such as...the Ferengi Alliance. He cheated them out of a shipment of latinum last month.
T'POL: That was a clever ruse to expose their illegal smuggling operation.
PARIS: Or the Romulan Empire. He insulted their ambassador at a diplomatic reception last week.
T'POL: That was an honest mistake. He thought he was complimenting her hair.
PARIS: Or the Borg Collective. He tried to assimilate them into his fan club two days ago.
T'POL: That was...a bold move. He wanted to show them the benefits of individuality and humor.
PARIS: Or the Q Continuum. He challenged Q to a game of chess for the fate of the galaxy yesterday.
T'POL: That was...a foolish gamble. He lost in three moves.
PARIS: See what I mean? The Captain is a disaster waiting to happen.
T'POL: I do not agree, Lieutenant. The Captain is a brave and resourceful leader. He has a unique perspective and a creative approach to problem-solving. He inspires loyalty and respect from his crew.
PARIS: Really? Then why do you always look so annoyed when he's around?
T'POL: I do not look annoyed, Lieutenant. I look...Vulcan.
PARIS: Sure you do, Commander. Sure you do.
[The scene changes to the Captain's quarters. The door chimes.]
COSTANZA: Come in!
[Worf enters. He sees Costanza lying on his bed, wearing a bathrobe and eating a bowl of ice cream.]
WORF: Captain Costanza.
COSTANZA: Worf! What a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?
WORF: You can get up and get dressed, Captain.
COSTANZA: Why? What's going on?
WORF: Admiral Janeway has an urgent message for you.
COSTANZA: Admiral Janeway? Oh boy. What does she want?
WORF: I do not know, Captain. But she sounded very serious.
COSTANZA: Serious? Oh no. This can't be good.
WORF: Perhaps you should hurry, Captain.
COSTANZA: Alright, alright. Give me a minute.
[COSTANZA gets up and goes to his closet.]
COSTANZA: So, Worf. How are you liking the ship?
WORF: It is adequate, Captain.
COSTANZA: Just adequate? Come on, Worf. This is the USS Costanza. The finest ship in the fleet. The pride of Starfleet.
WORF: If you say so, Captain.
COSTANZA: I do say so, Worf. And you should too. You're part of this crew. You're part of this family.
WORF: Family?
COSTANZA: Yeah, family. You know, like the Klingons have their houses and clans and stuff.
WORF: I see.
COSTANZA: Yeah, see? We're like that. We're like a big happy family here on the Costanza.
WORF: A big happy family that lies, cheats, schemes, complains...
COSTANZA: Hey! Who told you that?
WORF: No one, Captain. It is obvious to anyone who observes your behavior.
COSTANZA: Well, maybe you should observe less and participate more, Worf. Maybe you should loosen up a bit and have some fun.
WORF: Fun?
COSTANZA: Yeah, fun. You know what fun is, don't you?
WORF: Fun is a human concept that I do not fully understand.
COSTANZA: Well, let me explain it to you then. Fun is when you do something that makes you happy or excited or amused or relaxed or...
WORF: Or what?
COSTANZA: Or...I don't know. Something else. Something good.
WORF: I see.
COSTANZA: Yeah, see? Fun is good. And good is fun. And fun is what we have here on the Costanza.
WORF: Really?
COSTANZA: Really. Trust me, Worf. You'll love it here once you get used to it.
[COSTANZA comes out of his closet wearing a Starfleet uniform.]
COSTANZA: Alright, I'm ready. Let's go see what the Admiral wants.
[They leave the quarters.]
► More
[The scene changes to the bridge.]
T'POL: Captain on the bridge!
[Everyone stands up and salutes.]
COSTANZA: At ease, everyone. At ease.
[COSTANZA sits down in his chair.]
COSTANZA: So, what's the situation?
T'POL: We have two situations, Captain. One is a distress signal from a pre-warp civilization on a nearby planet that is threatened by a volcanic eruption.
COSTANZA: A pre-warp civilization? Oh boy. That sounds like a prime directive issue.
T'POL: Indeed, Captain. We cannot interfere with their natural development.
COSTANZA: But we can't just let them die either.
T'POL: That is the dilemma, Captain.
COSTANZA: Well, what's the other situation?
T'POL: The other situation is a message from Admiral Janeway. She wants to speak to you urgently.
COSTANZA: Admiral Janeway? Oh boy. That sounds like a trouble issue.
T'POL: Indeed, Captain. She did not disclose the reason for her message.
COSTANZA: But she sounded serious.
T'POL: Very serious, Captain.
COSTANZA: Well, what are we waiting for? Put her on screen.
T'POL: Aye, Captain.
[A hologram of Admiral Janeway appears on the bridge.]
JANEWAY: Greetings, Captain Costanza. I'm glad you finally decided to join us.
COSTANZA: Hello, Admiral Janeway. I'm sorry for the delay. I was...busy.
JANEWAY: Busy doing what?
COSTANZA: Busy...doing captain stuff.
JANEWAY: Captain stuff?
COSTANZA: Yeah, you know. Captain stuff. Like...commanding and...leading and...stuff.
JANEWAY: I see. Well, I hope you're ready for some more captain stuff. Because I have a very important mission for you.
COSTANZA: A mission? What kind of mission?
JANEWAY: A secret mission, Captain. A mission that could change the course of history.
COSTANZA: Really?
JANEWAY: Really. Are you interested?
COSTANZA: Well...I don't know. It depends on what it is.
JANEWAY: Trust me, Captain. You'll want to hear this. It's about the Dominion War.
COSTANZA: The Dominion War? What about it?
JANEWAY: As you know, Captain, the Dominion War was a devastating conflict that lasted for four years and claimed millions of lives. The Federation and its allies fought bravely against the Dominion and its allies, but they were outnumbered and outmatched. The war ended with a treaty that restored peace and stability to the Alpha Quadrant, but at a great cost.
COSTANZA: Yeah, I know all that. I was there, remember?
JANEWAY: Of course you were, Captain. You served with distinction on the USS Defiant under Captain Sisko.
COSTANZA: That's right. I was his...uh...his...
JANEWAY: His chief engineer.
COSTANZA: Yeah, that's it. His chief engineer. I did a lot of...engineering stuff.
JANEWAY: Indeed you did, Captain. You were instrumental in many battles and missions. You earned several medals and commendations for your courage and skill.
COSTANZA: Yeah, yeah. Enough with the flattery, Admiral. What's your point?
JANEWAY: My point is, Captain, that you have a unique experience and knowledge of the Dominion War. And that's why I need you for this mission.
COSTANZA: What mission?
JANEWAY: A mission to go back in time and change the outcome of the war.
COSTANZA: What?!
JANEWAY: You heard me, Captain. A mission to go back in time and change the outcome of the war.
COSTANZA: Are you crazy?
JANEWAY: No, Captain. I'm serious.
COSTANZA: But that's impossible!
JANEWAY: No, Captain. It's possible.
COSTANZA: But that's illegal!
JANEWAY: No, Captain. It's authorized.
COSTANZA: But that's dangerous!
JANEWAY: Yes, Captain. It's very dangerous.
COSTANZA: Then why do it?
JANEWAY: Because it's necessary, Captain. Because it's our duty.
COSTANZA: Our duty? To whom?
JANEWAY: To ourselves, Captain. To our friends and families. To our fallen comrades. To our future generations.
COSTANZA: What are you talking about?
JANEWAY: I'm talking about justice, Captain. I'm talking about justice for all those who suffered and died in the war. I'm talking about justice for all those who are still suffering and dying from the aftermath of the war. I'm talking about justice for all those who will suffer and die from the consequences of the war.
COSTANZA: Consequences? What consequences?
JANEWAY: Consequences that you don't know about yet, Captain. Consequences that are too horrible to imagine.
COSTANZA: Like what?
JANEWAY: Like...like...
[The hologram glitches and freezes.]
T'POL: Captain, we are losing the signal.
COSTANZA: What? What? What are the consequences?
T'POL: I'm sorry, Captain. The signal is gone.
COSTANZA: Gone? Gone where?
T'POL: I do not know, Captain. It seems to have been jammed.
COSTANZA: Jammed? By who?
T'POL: I do not know, Captain. But I have a suspicion.
COSTANZA: A suspicion? Of who?
T'POL: Of them.
[The screen shows a fleet of Dominion ships approaching the Costanza.]
COSTANZA: Them? Who are them?
T'POL: Them are the Dominion, Captain. They have found us.
COSTANZA: Found us? How did they find us?
T'POL: I do not know, Captain. But they are here. And they are angry.
COSTANZA: Angry? Why are they angry?
T'POL: They are angry because we know their secret, Captain. Their secret that could change the course of history.
COSTANZA: Secret? What secret?
T'POL: The secret that Admiral Janeway was trying to tell you, Captain. The secret that we have to go back in time and change.
COSTANZA: Change? Change what?
T'POL: Change the outcome of the war, Captain. Change the outcome of the war.
[The screen shows the Dominion ships opening fire on the Costanza.]
COSTANZA: Oh boy.
[To be continued...]
[The scene changes to the engineering room. The chief engineer, Lieutenant Scotty, a human man, is working on a console.]
SCOTTY: Come on, laddie. Don't fail me now.
[The console sparks and smokes.]
SCOTTY: Och! That's not good.
[The intercom beeps.]
COSTANZA: Scotty! Scotty! Do you read me?
SCOTTY: Aye, Captain. I read you loud and clear.
COSTANZA: Scotty, we need more power!
SCOTTY: More power? Captain, I'm giving her all she's got!
COSTANZA: Well, that's not enough! We're under attack by the Dominion!
SCOTTY: The Dominion? What are they doing here?
COSTANZA: I don't know! They're after some secret that could change the outcome of the war!
SCOTTY: What war?
COSTANZA: The Dominion War!
SCOTTY: What Dominion War?
COSTANZA: The one we fought in four years ago!
SCOTTY: We fought in a war four years ago?
COSTANZA: Yes, we did! Don't you remember?
SCOTTY: No, I don't!
COSTANZA: Well, you should! You were there!
SCOTTY: I was?
COSTANZA: Yes, you were! You were my...uh...my...
SCOTTY: Your what?
COSTANZA: My...my...my assistant engineer!
SCOTTY: I was?
COSTANZA: Yes, you were! You helped me with a lot of...engineering stuff!
SCOTTY: I did?
COSTANZA: Yes, you did! You were very helpful and loyal and brave and...
SCOTTY: And what?
COSTANZA: And...and...and Scottish!
SCOTTY: I am?
COSTANZA: Yes, you are! You're very Scottish!
SCOTTY: Well, thank you, Captain. That's very kind of you to say.
COSTANZA: You're welcome, Scotty. Now please give me more power!
SCOTTY: Aye, Captain. I'll try.
[Scotty pulls a lever and pushes a button.]
SCOTTY: There. That should do it.
[The console explodes.]
SCOTTY: Och! That didn't do it.
[The intercom beeps.]
T'POL: Captain, we have a problem.
COSTANZA: What problem, T'Pol?
T'POL: The warp core is unstable, Captain. It is going to breach in five minutes.
COSTANZA: What?! How did that happen?
T'POL: It was damaged by the Dominion's weapons fire, Captain. There is nothing we can do to stop it.
COSTANZA: Nothing? Nothing at all?
T'POL: Nothing, Captain. I'm sorry.
COSTANZA: Oh boy.
T'POL: Captain, there is one thing we can do.
COSTANZA: What? What can we do?
T'POL: We can use the warp core to create a temporal rift.
COSTANZA: A temporal rift? What's that?
T'POL: A temporal rift is a tear in the fabric of space-time, Captain. It can allow us to travel to another point in time.
COSTANZA: Travel to another point in time? Why would we want to do that?
T'POL: Because that is our mission, Captain. To go back in time and change the outcome of the war.
COSTANZA: Oh yeah. That.
T'POL: Yes, that. If we succeed, we can save millions of lives and prevent the consequences of the war.
COSTANZA: And if we fail?
T'POL: Then we will die, Captain. Along with everyone else in this timeline.
COSTANZA: Oh boy.
T'POL: Captain, it is your decision. Do you want to proceed with the mission?
COSTANZA: Well...I don't know. It sounds risky.
T'POL: It is very risky, Captain. But it is also our only chance.
COSTANZA: Our only chance?
T'POL: Yes, Captain. Our only chance.
COSTANZA: Well...in that case...
[The screen shows the Costanza flying towards the warp core.]
COSTANZA: Let's do it!
[The screen shows the Costanza entering the warp core and disappearing in a flash of light.]
[The scene changes to a space station. The station is crowded with people and ships of various races and factions. The station is Deep Space Nine.]
[The screen shows the date: Stardate 51408.6. The year is 2374.]
[The screen shows a caption: Four years earlier.]
[The scene changes to a bar. The bar is Quark's. The bar is full of customers and noise.]
[The screen shows a caption: Quark's.]
[The scene changes to a table. The table is occupied by four people. The people are Captain Sisko, Major Kira, Doctor Bashir and Chief O'Brien. They are having a drink and a conversation.]
SISKO: So, how are things on Bajor, Major?
KIRA: Things are good, Captain. The reconstruction is going well. The people are hopeful.
SISKO: That's good to hear.
KIRA: How about you, Captain? How are things on the station?
SISKO: Things are busy, Major. The war is taking its toll. We're short on supplies and personnel.
KIRA: I know, Captain. I wish I could do more to help.
SISKO: You're doing enough, Major. You're doing your best.
BASHIR: We all are, Captain. We all are.
O'BRIEN: Aye, that we are.
SISKO: Thank you, gentlemen. I appreciate your support.
BASHIR: Anytime, Captain.
O'BRIEN: Anytime.
[They raise their glasses and toast.]
ALL: To the Federation!
[They drink.]
SISKO: So, what do you think of our new allies?
KIRA: The Klingons?
SISKO: Yes, the Klingons.
KIRA: Well...they're better than the Dominion.
SISKO: That's true.
KIRA: But they're still Klingons.
SISKO: That's also true.
KIRA: They're loud and aggressive and violent and...
SISKO: And loyal and brave and honorable and...
KIRA: And smelly and hairy and ugly and...
SISKO: And...and...and...
[They laugh.]
SISKO: I guess we'll have to get used to them.
KIRA: I guess so.
BASHIR: Speaking of the Dominion, have you heard the latest news?
SISKO: What news?
BASHIR: They've captured Betazed.
SISKO: What?!
BASHIR: It's true, Captain. They've invaded and occupied Betazed.
SISKO: How did that happen?
BASHIR: I don't know, Captain. But it's a major blow to the Federation.
SISKO: Betazed is one of our core worlds. It's home to millions of people. And it's the birthplace of Deanna Troi.
KIRA: Deanna Troi?
SISKO: Yes, Deanna Troi. The counselor on the Enterprise.
KIRA: Oh, right. The one with the big hair.
SISKO: Yes, the one with the big hair.
KIRA: I wonder what happened to her.
SISKO: I hope she's alright.
O'BRIEN: Me too, Captain. Me too.
[They look sad.]
SISKO: This war has to end soon.
KIRA: I agree, Captain. I agree.
[The scene changes to the space outside the station.]
[The screen shows a caption: Deep Space Nine.]
[The scene shows a flash of light near the station.]
[The scene shows a ship emerging from the light.]
[The ship is the USS Costanza.]
[The ship is damaged and smoking.]
[The ship is flying towards the station.]
COSTANZA: T'Pol! T'Pol! Do you read me?
T'POL: I read you, Captain. Barely.
COSTANZA: What's our status?
T'POL: Our status is critical, Captain. We have multiple hull breaches and system failures. We have lost warp and impulse engines. We have no shields or weapons. We have minimal life support and communications. We have no control over our trajectory or velocity.
COSTANZA: So...we're screwed?
T'POL: That is one way to put it, Captain.
COSTANZA: Is there anything we can do?
T'POL: There is one thing we can do, Captain.
COSTANZA: What? What can we do?
T'POL: We can complete our mission, Captain. We can change the outcome of the war.
COSTANZA: How? How can we do that?
T'POL: By using our temporal device, Captain. The device that Admiral Janeway gave us before we left.
COSTANZA: Oh yeah. That thing.
T'POL: Yes, that thing. The thing that can send a message to any point in time.
COSTANZA: And what message are we supposed to send?
T'POL: The message that Admiral Janeway told us to send, Captain. The message that contains the secret that could change the course of history.
COSTANZA: And what is that secret?
T'POL: The secret is...
[The intercom beeps.]
WORF: Captain, we have a problem.
COSTANZA: What problem, Worf?
WORF: We have been detected by the station's sensors, Captain. They are hailing us.
COSTANZA: Hailing us? Who are they?
WORF: They are the Federation, Captain. They are our allies.
COSTANZA: Our allies? Then what's the problem?
WORF: The problem is, Captain, that they do not know who we are. They do not know where we came from. They do not know why we are here.
COSTANZA: Well, can't we just tell them?
WORF: No, Captain. We cannot tell them. That would violate the temporal prime directive.
COSTANZA: The temporal prime directive? What's that?
WORF: It is a rule that forbids us from interfering with the past, Captain. It is a rule that protects the integrity of the timeline.
COSTANZA: Oh boy.
WORF: Indeed, Captain. Indeed.
[The intercom beeps.]
SISKO: This is Captain Sisko of Deep Space Nine. Identify yourself and state your intentions.
COSTANZA: T'Pol, what do I say?
T'POL: You say nothing, Captain. You ignore them.
COSTANZA: Ignore them? But they're our allies!
T'POL: They are not our allies yet, Captain. They are our potential allies. And we cannot risk jeopardizing that potential by revealing ourselves to them.
COSTANZA: But they're hailing us!
T'POL: Then let them hail, Captain. Let them hail.
[The intercom beeps.]
SISKO: I repeat, this is Captain Sisko of Deep Space Nine. Identify yourself and state your intentions. This is your final warning.
COSTANZA: T'Pol, what do I do?
T'POL: You do nothing, Captain. You wait.
COSTANZA: Wait for what?
T'POL: Wait for the right moment, Captain. The right moment to send the message.
COSTANZA: And when will that be?
Alright, I’ll try again. Here is the continuation of the script.
T'POL: It will be soon, Captain. Very soon.
COSTANZA: How do you know?
T'POL: I know because I have calculated the optimal temporal coordinates, Captain. The coordinates that will ensure the maximum impact of our message.
COSTANZA: And what are those coordinates?
T'POL: They are the coordinates of a pivotal event in the war, Captain. An event that changed everything.
COSTANZA: What event?
T'POL: The event that occurred on this station, Captain. The event that occurred on this date.
COSTANZA: What date?
T'POL: The date of the first battle of Deep Space Nine.
COSTANZA: The first battle of Deep Space Nine?
T'POL: Yes, Captain. The first battle of Deep Space Nine.
COSTANZA: What happened in that battle?
T'POL: A lot of things happened in that battle, Captain. Things that you don't remember yet. Things that you will remember soon.
COSTANZA: Like what?
T'POL: Like...like...
[The intercom beeps.]
SISKO: This is your last chance. Identify yourself or we will open fire.
COSTANZA: T'Pol, they're going to shoot at us!
T'POL: Let them shoot, Captain. Let them shoot.
COSTANZA: But they'll destroy us!
T'POL: No, they won't, Captain. No, they won't.
COSTANZA: How do you know?
T'POL: No, they won't, Captain. No they won't. I've activated the temporal device to send us back to the past.
Bing stopped giving me responses after this, but it was pretty epic.