Vergil is a woman

[Nooneatall]

I have a controversial conspiracy theory about Vergil I wanted to share with everyone. After careful deliberation of analyzing several threads while heating my pizza rolls and starting Star Wars: The Phantom Menace for the tenth time this week, I think I've finally concluded:
Vergil is a woman.

I know what you are thinking: "How is that possible? Sure, Vergil is a deeply effeminate and homosexual man. But a woman? You go too far; you retarded, fat, Shrek-looking mother fucker."

I've discussed this at length with my mom, whom I even invited down into the basement to review the posts with me. She had a lot of insight, like "Why are there crusty socks everywhere?" and "I've failed as a parent". As a woman, she knows another one when she sees one, and she agrees Vergil is a woman.

Now, to the proof, I will refer to Vergil as She in the following points:
1. She is extremely catty to a level that I'm not even sure a gay dude could attain. It would have to be an absolute caricature of a homosexual to reach those levels. Every post has a high level of sarcasm and passive aggression. We can all agree that only a woman can hit that level.
2. She is territorial against other women. See how she will fight Orin all day and all night and jump on any posts made by a new female user. She doesn't want to share the attention, whether negative or positive.
3. She is extremely stuffy, like a Puritan church wife. She is the kind of person who would call a prettier, younger woman a witch during the Salem witch trials just so her husband couldn't see her accidentally. The only people I've met who are this puritanical and prudish are women, and usually protestant Christian ones. She's said things to the effect of "sex is icky" before as well, which makes me think she's in a loveless marriage to an ugly dude.
4. She never stops complaining. Most of the posts are complaints or moans about something she doesn't like. This is the most substantial evidence I've provided so far. I've seen countless threads derailed or made worse due to her non-stop complaints about things that no one cares about like someone being made a mod or someone posting a cartoon nipple.
5. Strict and unthinking analysis of rules and regulations. If there is a rule on the forum, she will wear herself out trying to argue about how it wasn't enforced in the letter. Autistic men also do this, so I can't say this is a uniquely feminine trait.

[Anon]

@Slavic Sorcerer @orinEsque your take about this?

[Emphyrio]

i was thinking the same tbh

[Metalhead33]

Based Shrek.

[orinEsque]

@Slavic Sorcerer @orinEsque your take about this?

Your honor, and distinguished members of the jury. I would like to present to you, numerous alluring pictures of Astarion posted by this woman all across this forum, especially in the "Why do women find Astarion attractive" thread.

I will further add that this woman may also be a fujoshi, aka a rotten woman, who likes to roleplay as a man and get off on gay sex.

[Acrux]

Boy, I sure do love visiting VergilHQ where I can read Vergil's takes about how much he hates this website and it's posters and ALSO read other people's takes on Vergil in every damn thread.

[Decline]

All of these points also describe @rusty_shackleford

[WhiteShark]

and it's posters

This is how you can tell he's truly annoyed.

[Emphyrio]

the only thing that makes me doubt is that vergil has above-average political and historical knowledge and sometimes has takes that aren't based entirely on received knowledge which is very unwomanlike. In the "Astarion is attractive" thread vergil made an analogy between marxist-leninism and the Guelphs and Ghibellines. Few women could do that.

[Emphyrio]

Vergil also denied being a woman a couple months ago.

I'm not a woman.

However Vergil has never outright denied being a fag.

[Decline]

the only thing that makes me doubt is that vergil has above-average political and historical knowledge and sometimes has takes that aren't based entirely on received knowledge which is very unwomanlike. In the "Astarion is attractive" thread vergil made an analogy between marxist-leninism and the Guelphs and Ghibellines. Few women could do that.

could be a history major

[Anon]

Vergil also denied being a woman a couple months ago.

I'm not a woman.

However Vergil has never outright denied being a fag.

He has said he has a wife multiple times though.

[BobT]

I only read the title so far and I'm laughing already.

Vergil goes through more menstruation cycles in a month than most women do throughout their entire lives.

[orinEsque]

Since I'm not one to withhold evidence despite it going against my argument:
SHe claimed to not be a fag on IRC and said she had a wife. Whether i believe her or not is another question.

[BobT]

Vergil also denied being a woman a couple months ago.

I'm not a woman.

However Vergil has never outright denied being a fag.

He has said he has a wife multiple times though.

Don't a lot of fags have wives? "Beards" aren't they called? Or am I mixing it up. Some even have kids, while they try to tell themselves they're not a homo.

[orinEsque]

Vergil also denied being a woman a couple months ago.

However Vergil has never outright denied being a fag.

He has said he has a wife multiple times though.

Don't a lot of fags have wives? "Beards" aren't they called? Or am I mixing it up. Some even have kids, while they try to tell themselves they're not a homo.

He did know an awful lot about fag hags (aka beards)...

at least he can't complain about me having my own dedicated thread anymore

[Oyster Sauce]

the gayest thing he does is avatar policing

[rusty_shackleford]

makes sense that a w*man would be offended by the female form
same reason all video game females are now ugly

[Vergil]

The butthurt porn posters are now causing a second retarded shitposting thread to sperg out in instead of addressing any of my arguments. Boy they really are defensive of their right to coom and post porn for other men to get aroused by.
(Didn't read any of that dumbshit anyway you're a literal who to me)

[orinEsque]

makes sense that a w*man would be offended by the female form
same reason all video game females are now ugly

Troons are offended by the female form. Because they will never be a woman.

[BobT]

Well, she certainly does complain even when she gets what she wants.

Typical woman.

[ArcaneLurker]

The butthurt porn posters are now causing a second retarded shitposting thread to sperg out in instead of addressing any of my arguments. Boy they really are defensive of their right to coom and post porn for other men to get aroused by.
(Didn't read any of that dumbshit anyway you're a literal who to me)

Be true to yourself, mon petit chou-fleur.

[Vergil]

All of the worst posters circle jerking over and agreeing with this cope only makes me more sure of my position btw.

[GhostCow]

The butthurt porn posters are now causing a second retarded shitposting thread to sperg out in instead of addressing any of my arguments. Boy they really are defensive of their right to coom and post porn for other men to get aroused by.
(Didn't read any of that dumbshit anyway you're a literal who to me)

This isn't about porn. This is about you being obnoxious

[orinEsque]

All of the worst posters circle jerking over and agreeing with this cope only makes me more sure of my position btw.

You've now qualified for an invite to GirlzHQ!

[Vergil]

All of the worst posters circle jerking over and agreeing with this cope only makes me more sure of my position btw.

You've now qualified for an invite to GirlzHQ!

You are a pickme who would open your legs for half the members here to keep their approval and attention. Let it be clear the hole is now pro pornography as long as it's the correct people supporting it.
Weird how all the people who seethe at me (both on site and private discords) are the spineless and the retarded.

[rusty_shackleford]

If you don't like most of the users of a forum, it would be wise to find a different forum with users you like.

[ArcaneLurker]

All of the worst posters circle jerking over and agreeing with this cope only makes me more sure of my position btw.

You are a pickme who would open your legs for half the members here to keep their approval and attention. Let it be clear the hole is now pro pornography as long as it's the correct people supporting it.
Weird how all the people who seethe at me (both on site and private discords) are the spineless and the retarded.

My French Princess can't be this tsundere

[Vergil]

If you don't like most of the users of a forum, it would be wise to find a different forum with users you like.

Most people agreed with me that your non-definition of pornography is incorrect. Your gay pithy dismissal of that and approved slanders of me will not change that. You're dumb btw.

[rusty_shackleford]

Most people agreed with me that your non-definition of pornography is incorrect.

And?