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I beg you not to take my words as a criticism, but just as an idea!
That diary from Nocturne still sounds transgender with usual in that case big deal out of "dead-naming" or whatever it is called. Could not "Nocturne" be the new earned name similar to Shadowheart? Like once you go through the right of passage of some sort, your civil mundane name (Jane, Ronald, whatever) is changed to something like Shadowheart. Using your old name means an insult to your skills, not gender, an expressed skepticism in your ability to pass the test.
SH can be mentioned as an example of defending oneself from such attacks, not as a guardian for a man.

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 15th, 2023, 19:51

I beg you not to take my words as a criticism, but just as an idea!
That diary from Nocturne still sounds transgender with usual in that case big deal out of "dead-naming" or whatever it is called. Could not "Nocturne" be the new earned name similar to Shadowheart? Like once you go through the right of passage of some sort, your civil mundane name (Jane, Ronald, whatever) is changed to something like Shadowheart. Using your old name means an insult to your skills, not gender, an expressed skepticism in your ability to pass the test.
SH can be mentioned as an example of defending oneself from such attacks, not as a guardian for a man.

That is indeed a good idea. I was contemplating a solution, that works well. I'll swap that in for next release. I'm flagging this to move to support section so I remember

For a thousand time - thank you for your work!

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 15th, 2023, 20:07

For a thousand time - thank you for your work!

In a way all your feedback is helping me make MY copy of the game better . Thanks!

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 15th, 2023, 19:51

I beg you not to take my words as a criticism, but just as an idea!
That diary from Nocturne still sounds transgender with usual in that case big deal out of "dead-naming" or whatever it is called. Could not "Nocturne" be the new earned name similar to Shadowheart? Like once you go through the right of passage of some sort, your civil mundane name (Jane, Ronald, whatever) is changed to something like Shadowheart. Using your old name means an insult to your skills, not gender, an expressed skepticism in your ability to pass the test.
SH can be mentioned as an example of defending oneself from such attacks, not as a guardian for a man.

Seconded.

Honestly I'm still baffled that they included a ****** in Shar's cult of all things. The entire propaganda is "Just let us be who we want to be!". Why the **** would a Shar cult encourage self-actualization?

Her entire motto is apathy, spite and embracing loss. If anything they should've stuck Nocture's head into that mirror until he forgot about ever wanting to be a woman.

One more minor thing since we are talking about that diary. "Men do not bride their hair". WHAT?! Tell it to dwarves, elves and numerous cultures across the Faerun with men proud of their brided long hair decorated with anything you can think of!

The excuses they come up with to insert mistreatment into the - by their very design! - A fully inclusive world is unbelievable!

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 14:25

One more minor thing since we are talking about that diary. "Men do not bride their hair". WHAT?! Tell it to dwarves, elves and numerous cultures across the Faerun with men proud of their brided long hair decorated with anything you can think of!

The excuses they come up with to insert mistreatment into the - by their very design! - A fully inclusive world is unbelievable!

Lol that was my shoddy replacement of Nocturne's "I am a *****" confession in his diary. I'll carefully craft a better version ideas welcome. However, Shadowheart still needs to stick up for his name for one reason or another, otherwise I'll have to change a lot of voice lines.

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 14:25

One more minor thing since we are talking about that diary. "Men do not bride their hair". WHAT?! Tell it to dwarves, elves and numerous cultures across the Faerun with men proud of their brided long hair decorated with anything you can think of!

The excuses they come up with to insert mistreatment into the - by their very design! - A fully inclusive world is unbelievable!

White pepo invented shampoo in 40000 BC because they were embarassed their braids wasn't as gooder as the black man's! ~ A historian at Yale, presumably.

(It's funny when people who considered Harry Potter the height of literature tell others to read a book.)

orinEsque wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 14:29

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 14:25

One more minor thing since we are talking about that diary. "Men do not bride their hair". WHAT?! Tell it to dwarves, elves and numerous cultures across the Faerun with men proud of their brided long hair decorated with anything you can think of!

The excuses they come up with to insert mistreatment into the - by their very design! - A fully inclusive world is unbelievable!

Lol that was my shoddy replacement of Nocturne's "I am a *****" confession in his diary. I'll carefully craft a better version ideas welcome. However, Shadowheart still needs to stick up for his name for one reason or another, otherwise I'll have to change a lot of voice lines.

I was so sure it was original (VERY fitting, you totally got Larian's tone) that I did not even bother to check.
Well, if the name part has to stay, then the right-of-passage name is one of the possibilities. Other than that, known ways for name-changing next rank in something? Especially acolytes for some religions. Similar to the former but with more emphasis on reaching some kind of enlightenment. Or simply achievement in something...

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 23:33

orinEsque wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 14:29

PixiGreen wrote: ↑ December 17th, 2023, 14:25

One more minor thing since we are talking about that diary. "Men do not bride their hair". WHAT?! Tell it to dwarves, elves and numerous cultures across the Faerun with men proud of their brided long hair decorated with anything you can think of!

The excuses they come up with to insert mistreatment into the - by their very design! - A fully inclusive world is unbelievable!

Lol that was my shoddy replacement of Nocturne's "I am a *****" confession in his diary. I'll carefully craft a better version ideas welcome. However, Shadowheart still needs to stick up for his name for one reason or another, otherwise I'll have to change a lot of voice lines.

I was so sure it was original (VERY fitting, you totally got Larian's tone) that I did not even bother to check.
Well, if the name part has to stay, then the right-of-passage name is one of the possibilities. Other than that, known ways for name-changing next rank in something? Especially acolytes for some religions. Similar to the former but with more emphasis on reaching some kind of enlightenment. Or simply achievement in something...

Going with this:
"
[As you peruse the well worn diary, you come across a curious entry.]

I wish I could forget. No matter how much time passes the echoes of their laughter still haunt me to this day. It was to be the moment of my rebirth. I was to leave behind the vestiges of my old self. As I uttered the words that bound me to Shar's embrace, a misplaced step, an unwitting collision, spurred the flames, once obedient, to betray their purpose and dance upon my robes. As I fought to salvage my dignity, the acolytes' laughter rang through the hallowed halls. No I must not dwell on this any longer. Mishap or not, Shar has accepted her into her embrace as Nocturne. I can't remember the last time someone called me by the wrong name - Shadowheart has been swift to gently correct slips of the tongue, and even swifter in challenging those who'd use my forsworn name in malice. I'm lucky to have her as a friend.

They took Shadowheart's memories again - more than they took before. But I know what to do now. I know she'll be frightened, and that she won't remember much - not even me. I can take her to our hideaway and remind her of herself. I'm getting better at it each time; I love seeing that look in her eyes when she finally remembers me. Why must the Mother Superior do this to her? Why must she grind <i>her</i> under heel like she does to no other?

They are grooming her for a mission, and will soon take away her memories again. I need to see her again while she still remembers me. I need to tell her to stay safe, and that I'll see her again.

It's been days, and no word. Shadowheart and the others could be alive or dead - even the Mother Superior does not seem to know. I'm sick with worry. I can't even bear to write any more.
"

"Shar has accepted her into her embrace as Nocturne" with the accepted her line, who is the her being referred to?

Ty6 wrote: ↑ December 19th, 2023, 14:38

"Shar has accepted her into her embrace as Nocturne" with the accepted her line, who is the her being referred to?

Whoops should me "accepted me" - good catch!

orinEsque wrote: ↑ December 19th, 2023, 14:00

under heel like she does to no other?

I'm no expert, but I would change that to... "under heel like she does no other?"

Also, based on this latest variation of Nocturne's diary, have you considered just making Nocturne biologically female? I find the male version kind of funky looking.

Deadpan55 wrote: ↑ December 20th, 2023, 00:43

orinEsque wrote: ↑ December 19th, 2023, 14:00

under heel like she does to no other?

I'm no expert, but I would change that to... "under heel like she does no other?"

Also, based on this latest variation of Nocturne's diary, have you considered just making Nocturne biologically female? I find the male version kind of funky looking.

No, it would require more work, and changing more lines. Not worth it for an unimportant NPC. What I can do, since you mentioned it, is make him look more manly. Perhaps even deepen his voice.

Also "under heel like she does no other?" is Larian. Not sure I want to correct their typos till they fix the typo themselves.

orinEsque wrote: ↑ December 20th, 2023, 00:54

No, it would require more work, and changing more lines. Not worth it for an unimportant NPC. What I can do, since you mentioned it, is make him look more manly. Perhaps even deepen his voice.

Also "under heel like she does no other?" is Larian. Not sure I want to correct their typos till they fix the typo themselves.

That's a good compromise, yeah.

Fair enough, lol.

Sounds great! Both the diary and the idea of deepening the voice remove the last traces of ideology from the scene.

Thank you!!!