The Babylon Bee

The_Mask · Post by **The_Mask** » March 14th, 2024, 00:07

The Bee never missing the chance to remind us of the 44 billion dollar tweet.

The_Mask · Post by **The_Mask** » March 14th, 2024, 22:15

Ladies, we've all been there; you're trying to spend time with your man but his mind is clearly elsewhere. Why isn't he staring at you at this exact moment in time? Could it be Dune: Part Two?

Look for these warning signs:

He says, "I am thinking about Dune. What a good movie.": He might be thinking about Dune.

He's wearing those piercing blue contacts again: Girl, he's only got eyes for Shai-Hulud.

Your "Eat Pray Love" sign got replaced with a "Fear is the Mind-Killer" sign: It might be true, but he still should have asked.

He suddenly loves sand even though it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere: That is so unlike him.

Computers have been banned from your home: And someone called a "Mentat" keeps following him around. You thought they were friends, but he just keeps asking the guy questions he would previously have googled.

He tries to command the dog using the Voice: On the bright side, Professor Scruffles is finally housebroken.

He goes door to door asking neighbors if they've heard the good news about Muad'Dib: They haven't.

The family Bible is now orange for some reason: And he won't shut up about the Butlerian Jihad.

When Fernando Tatis Jr makes an incredible game-winning catch for the San Diego Padres he reverently whispers, "Lisan al Gaib!": He's not wrong.

Constantly invokes the Tahaddi Challenge to settle disputes: He's been arrested three times.

Sighing, he gazes thoughtfully out the window while sipping a cup of coffee: Oh dear, there's only one thing he could possibly be thinking about — the dunes of the desert planet Arrakis.
If your man is showing even one of these signs, he's thinking about Dune and you're out of luck. But be warned, even if your man is exhibiting none of these behaviors, he's probably still thinking about Dune.

Rand · Post by **Rand** » March 15th, 2024, 06:20

Acrux wrote: ↑ March 8th, 2024, 02:07
Like @maidenhaver, she just gets fatter with age.

That's female nature, unfortunately.

The_Mask · Post by **The_Mask** » March 22nd, 2024, 20:31

Post by **rusty_shackleford** » March 25th, 2024, 23:48

haha it's so funny because it's based on reality and definitely not jewish cope about being inbred with tons of medical issues!!!

Acrux · Post by **Acrux** » March 25th, 2024, 23:50

Wow my based heckin' Babylon Bee that is in now way actually owned and run by Zionists. :love:

:isrealflag:

asf · Post by **asf** » March 26th, 2024, 00:34

vote me for president

Post by **rusty_shackleford** » March 26th, 2024, 01:03

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ March 25th, 2024, 23:48
haha it's so funny because it's based on reality and definitely not jewish cope about being inbred with tons of medical issues!!!

Babylon Bee even paid for bots to immediately respond to anyone who comments on this

Oyster Sauce · Post by **Oyster Sauce** » March 26th, 2024, 01:27

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:03
You can't make fun of people for something that's not true.

sure thing gaywad

Post by **rusty_shackleford** » March 26th, 2024, 01:32

Oyster Sauce wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:27

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:03
You can't make fun of people for something that's not true.
sure thing gaywad

See, that's not funny when you make fun of me because it doesn't cause me to get upset. I know I'm not gay.
It's funny when you make fun of @Vergil because he invented an entire LARP where he has a wife and kids.

Xenich · Post by **Xenich** » March 26th, 2024, 22:23

Acrux wrote: ↑ March 25th, 2024, 23:50
Wow my based heckin' Babylon Bee that is in now way actually owned and run by Zionists. :love: :isrealflag:

https://gab.com/White__Rabbit/posts/112162799015405977

asf · Post by **asf** » March 26th, 2024, 23:46

jew berry

aweigh · Post by **aweigh** » March 27th, 2024, 03:57

Jews are second only to Muslims in consanguinity.

Vergil · Post by **Vergil** » March 27th, 2024, 18:15

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:32
It's funny when you make fun of @Vergil because he invented an entire LARP where he has a wife and kids.

I don't have kids and never claimed otherwise. As for the rest there's no way for me to convince you or reason for you to believe me anymore than anything else about my life so I don't worry about it.

Nooneatall · Post by **Nooneatall** » March 27th, 2024, 18:37

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:32

Oyster Sauce wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:27

rusty_shackleford wrote: ↑ March 26th, 2024, 01:03
You can't make fun of people for something that's not true.
sure thing gaywad
See, that's not funny when you make fun of me because it doesn't cause me to get upset. I know I'm not gay.
It's funny when you make fun of @Vergil because he invented an entire LARP where he has a wife and kids.

She*