Medieval Rimworld Chapter 15: A Return To Form (finale)

[Acrux]

how medieval are the building options?
daub and wattle was relatively fire resistant, the scenes of just putting a torch to a medieval-esque building and it going right up is another widespread creative liberty.

You name me one game where you can build whatever the fuck a daub and a wattle is

Manor lords

[Luckmann]

how medieval are the building options?
daub and wattle was relatively fire resistant, the scenes of just putting a torch to a medieval-esque building and it going right up is another widespread creative liberty.

You name me one game where you can build whatever the fuck a daub and a wattle is

Edit: oh no
https://f.rpghq.org/PFrbpA6iylSE.jpeg?n ... _Brave.jpg

You should never underestimate the autism of dedicated medievalfags.

[Rand]

Anyone can offer suggestions on what we should be focusing on. Now that we have more craftsmen cutting stones into bricks it might be worth thinking about converting our wooden buildings into stone. Bad things would happen if a fire sprang up. Alternatively, a wall with embrasures surrounding our territory would give us the advantage when being raided and we wouldn't have to fight in open fields anymore.

If you're not gonna build a castle in Medieval Rimworld, I don't know why you're even playing the game.

But do you mean that in terms of "We should start making our buildings into stone, like a stone castle" or "We should start building a wall, like castles have".

I'd argue that we already have a castle of sorts, albeit so far mostly out of wood, and that we should build a wall first, and then modernize from the inside out, resources and time permitting. So wooden walls->central stone structures->periphery stone structures->stone walls. And then after that, perhaps start to connect most structures. In medieval fashion, we should also not discount the norm of using existing structures as part of the walls, which would save time and resources; by the time we get around to "modernizing" our walls, we might only need to wall comparatively small sections at all.

Wall.

[Oyster Sauce]

how medieval are the building options?
daub and wattle was relatively fire resistant, the scenes of just putting a torch to a medieval-esque building and it going right up is another widespread creative liberty.

You name me one game where you can build whatever the fuck a daub and a wattle is

Edit: oh no
https://f.rpghq.org/PFrbpA6iylSE.jpeg?n ... _Brave.jpg

You should never underestimate the autism of dedicated medievalfags.

Turns out we had access to it all along and I just didn't know what a Tudor wall was.

[Tweed]

I see a blood moon arisin', I see Vergil turnin' gay
I see defenders of the faith now, I see them coming into pray

Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise

I hear shuffling in the hallways, I know the vicar's coming soon
He wants to tuck us into bed now, I hear his effeminate croon

Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise
Alright

Hope you are brushed up on Caritas, hope you will donate generously
Hope you have bought up your indulgence, tonight the tooth will set you free

Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise
Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise

[Irenaeus]

I see a blood moon arisin', I see Vergil turnin' gay
I see defenders of the faith now, I see them coming into pray

Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise

I hear shuffling in the hallways, I know the vicar's coming soon
He wants to tuck us into bed now, I hear his effeminate croon

Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise
Alright

Hope you are brushed up on Caritas, hope you will donate generously
Hope you have bought up your indulgence, tonight the tooth will set you free

Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise
Don't bed down tonight
Or you're bound to get a bite
There's a blood moon on the rise

Upon a road of steel rode Iren, knight and blade,
To slay the beast within, where blood and shadow played.
The fortress loomed ahead, its walls dark as the night,
Where cries of lost souls begged his axe to set things right.

Don’t rest now, noble knight, for death lies in your way,
With blood moon’s ghastly light, be warned what price you’ll pay.

Through wooden doors he strode, his armor gleamed and bright,
As whispers clawed his ears, and dimmed the wavering light.
The vicar, pale and sly, in vestments black as sin,
Beheld the knight and smirked, his fangs just peeking in.

Stay wary, armored knight, the beast knows every way,
With blood moon’s cursed light, he waits to end your stay.

“Good knight,” the vicar spoke, his voice both soft and cold,
“A holy man you seek, but darkness has him sold.”
In halls where prayers had rung, now shadows grinned with glee,
As Iren raised his axe, “Your curse will end by me.”

Now face him, noble knight, though death be in your way,
The blood moon high alight, for you or him shall pay.

With clash of glistening steel, the vicar hissed and flew,
Each strike of Iren’s blade made shadows pulse and brew.
Yet with each deadly swing, the night’s chill deeper grew—
’Twas not the blade alone that this dark scourge could slew.

Hold strong now, valiant knight, the beast doth drain the day,
With blood moon full and bright, let steel and heart obey.

At dawn, the curse was done, the blood moon’s wrath erased,
As Iren left the halls with no more foulness traced.
The vicar’s ghostly laugh in echoes left behind,
But peace returned anew, as hope reclaimed the blind.

[Oyster Sauce]

Chapter 12: Fear & Hunger


Lance is given the go ahead to lock up the witch. Harry resists arrest and things get violent.



The stranger's heart gets skewered in the kerfuffle. Unfortunately for Harry, he can't be killed unless his brain is destroyed. He's effectively locked in a state of torpor until he either finds a new heart or has his head removed from his body. Lance has no way of knowing this and leaves him for dead.



The fortress chapel is converted into a tortoise shelter. They're getting hypothermia outside which slows them down and makes it very difficult for them to get somewhere warm. One of them even had his turtle dick freeze off.





Elias wakes up in the morning feeling a bit different



With our new styling station we can start dyeing clothing our favorite colors for a very tiny mood boost. It's all coming together now.



After a period of rambling and muttering to himself, Boontaker gets fired up and wants to make a masterpiece. I guess it's time to set up some sort of art station.



Shani and Lemon have a duel in the throne room.



And then Shani falls in love with Oscar when he drops the hottest pickup line of 1432 AD.



@Boontaker hits 15 mining and can specialize in working mine shafts, getting more ore while mining, mining speed, or getting more stone while mining.



Rise and shine for the turtles (Shani didn't win this duel).



You can just barely see our first gentle snowfall as Lemon refuels a torch.



A caravan passes through and we finally offload the other daer antler for a bunch of meat, silver, and a breeding pair of ducks. One of the traders gets caught up in the river and separated from the others so she asks to stay here for a while. We let her crash in the church.





Night shift in the stonecutting hall.



Everybody has a very merry Christmas. They also refuse to shut the fuck up so I can get a good screenshot.



Our guest goes berserk and attacks Wolfie in a secluded area. Wolfie emits toxic gas, sprays acid, and shoots a piercing spine out of her neck. Bet she wasn't expecting that.





Her leg gets infected. Lathandra is happy to remove it for her. No sense letting her die and suffering bad relations.



We set up an alchemist's hut and Iren crafts a shield made out of the lindwurm's bones and scales.



Vergil made a nice marble cross for the church. Engraved on it is a reverent depiction of our turtle losing his penis to hypothermia.





We're offered a mission and accept it. Mithril is the best material we can get and it can only be researched with this scroll. It does put all of the men into a stupor though. Hopefully it ends before we get attacked!



There isn't much left to hunt. Mostly rats and squirrels. We start digging into the pemmican. Not a huge deal though, winter is nearly over.



A meteor full of iron lands near the lake to the northeast. Boontaker's work is never done.



Vitya's dumb ass gets swept away when he tries to grab some tomatoes out of the river.



More eggs hatch and we're now up to 26 turtles. They're absolutely all over the place. Taking name suggestions.





Lance has had a catatonic breakdown. He was having enough trouble getting around at his age, but with the psychic suppression he was completely unable to care for himself. In general, very little work is getting done. The volcanic winter is still ongoing and we haven't had sunlight in nearly a full season. We're going to have to make some tough decisions if the pemmican runs out and animals don't pass through our territory.



@Elias hits 15 intellectual and can choose to specialize in researching or alchemy if he'd like.



A hunting party is put together to go after these giant wildpods roaming around. The crossbowmen can't pierce its hide at all. We leave empty handed.



The next day, William loses a leg to a grizzly bear.






------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Luckmann]

Elias wakes up in the morning feeling a bit different.

I am starting to suspect that this may not be entirely historically accurate.

More eggs hatch and we're now up to 26 turtles. They're absolutely all over the place. Taking name suggestions.

Lil' Lucky?

Poor bear.

On a more serious note, can't turtle eggs be eaten like chicken eggs? :weeb:

[Boontaker]

Prospecting, unless there is a gigantic mountain range nearby and we want to go live in a cave, then tunneling.

[Luckmann]

go live in a cave

Probably much too late, but still such a cool idea.

[Tweed]

At last, I'm my tr00est self! Now I shall face endless persecutions and ridicule until I die in a mysterious drawbridge accident. How many researchers do we have and how many alchemists do we have right now? Any benefits for being an alchemist? Is that something we could really use right now?

Also, running out of food you say?

[Manny V]

Time for the bald edgelord to wander in and dig up some corpses, methinks:


Name: Mannfred "Manny" Von Carstein
Sex: M
Age: idk like 2000 years or some shit (we'll just have 40 for simplicity's sake)
Appearance: Bald, pale skin (greyish-cyan if you can do wacky colours)
Body type: Regular male
Favorite color: Black
Childhood backstory: Student
Adulthood backstory: Graverobber
Traits: Diplomat/Fast Learner/Great Memory/Strong Constitution,
Bloodlust/Cannibal/Misogynist/Night Owl,
Cowardly/Jealous
Misc: Is a vampire, obsessed with the arcane and necromancy, wields a sword in melee, doesn't wear helmets, any spooky stuff is his forte.

Shooting -
++Melee - 8
Construction -
Mining -
Cooking -
Plants -
Animals -
Crafting -
Artistic -
Medical -
Social - 8
++Intellectual - 12

[Luckmann]

Time for the bald edgelord to wander in and dig up some corpses, methinks:


Name: Mannfred "Manny" Von Carstein
Sex: M
Age: idk like 2000 years or some shit (we'll just have 40 for simplicity's sake)
Appearance: Bald, pale skin (greyish-cyan if you can do wacky colours)
Body type: Regular male
Favorite color: Black
Childhood backstory: Student
Adulthood backstory: Graverobber
Traits: Diplomat/Fast Learner/Great Memory/Strong Constitution,
Bloodlust/Cannibal/Misogynist/Night Owl,
Cowardly/Jealous
Misc: Is a vampire, obsessed with the arcane and necromancy, wields a sword in melee, doesn't wear helmets, any spooky stuff is his forte.

Shooting -
++Melee - 8
Construction -
Mining -
Cooking -
Plants -
Animals -
Crafting -
Artistic -
Medical -
Social - 8
++Intellectual - 12

How are you going to be digging up corpses with that "-" in mining? I assume digging is Mining.

[Tweed]

Time for the bald edgelord to wander in and dig up some corpses, methinks:


Name: Mannfred "Manny" Von Carstein
Sex: M
Age: idk like 2000 years or some shit (we'll just have 40 for simplicity's sake)
Appearance: Bald, pale skin (greyish-cyan if you can do wacky colours)
Body type: Regular male
Favorite color: Black
Childhood backstory: Student
Adulthood backstory: Graverobber
Traits: Diplomat/Fast Learner/Great Memory/Strong Constitution,
Bloodlust/Cannibal/Misogynist/Night Owl,
Cowardly/Jealous
Misc: Is a vampire, obsessed with the arcane and necromancy, wields a sword in melee, doesn't wear helmets, any spooky stuff is his forte.

Shooting -
++Melee - 8
Construction -
Mining -
Cooking -
Plants -
Animals -
Crafting -
Artistic -
Medical -
Social - 8
++Intellectual - 12

They're not sending their best.

[Jordy]

Time for the bald edgelord to wander in and dig up some corpses, methinks:


Name: Mannfred "Manny" Von Carstein
Sex: M
Age: idk like 2000 years or some shit (we'll just have 40 for simplicity's sake)
Appearance: Bald, pale skin (greyish-cyan if you can do wacky colours)
Body type: Regular male
Favorite color: Black
Childhood backstory: Student
Adulthood backstory: Graverobber
Traits: Diplomat/Fast Learner/Great Memory/Strong Constitution,
Bloodlust/Cannibal/Misogynist/Night Owl,
Cowardly/Jealous
Misc: Is a vampire, obsessed with the arcane and necromancy, wields a sword in melee, doesn't wear helmets, any spooky stuff is his forte.

Shooting -
++Melee - 8
Construction -
Mining -
Cooking -
Plants -
Animals -
Crafting -
Artistic -
Medical -
Social - 8
++Intellectual - 12

They're not sending their best.

We don't want to make it easy for @Oyster Sauce.

[Manny V]

Time for the bald edgelord to wander in and dig up some corpses, methinks:


Name: Mannfred "Manny" Von Carstein
Sex: M
Age: idk like 2000 years or some shit (we'll just have 40 for simplicity's sake)
Appearance: Bald, pale skin (greyish-cyan if you can do wacky colours)
Body type: Regular male
Favorite color: Black
Childhood backstory: Student
Adulthood backstory: Graverobber
Traits: Diplomat/Fast Learner/Great Memory/Strong Constitution,
Bloodlust/Cannibal/Misogynist/Night Owl,
Cowardly/Jealous
Misc: Is a vampire, obsessed with the arcane and necromancy, wields a sword in melee, doesn't wear helmets, any spooky stuff is his forte.

Shooting -
++Melee - 8
Construction -
Mining -
Cooking -
Plants -
Animals -
Crafting -
Artistic -
Medical -
Social - 8
++Intellectual - 12

How are you going to be digging up corpses with that "-" in mining? I assume digging is Mining.

why, i suppose they'll claw themselves up out of the grave when i tell them to, goddammit

[Havitner]

Is vampirism is a condition or a species?

Unless one of the mods changes the mechanic, it's a particular collection of xenogenes (genes that are not passed down to offspring).

That would normally mean you can only get more vampires through individual genetic engineering projects, but one part of the bloodfeeder gene collection is the 'Gene implanter' xenogene, which gives you the ability to inject a copy of your entire xenogene package into someone else. It has a two year cooldown (you can do it again while it's still on cooldown, at the cost of your life).

[Oyster Sauce]

Chapter 13: We've Got No Fucking Food


We're completely out of food. The bear that mauled William was butchered and then everybody scrambled for the raw meat. A few people got sick. The turtle eggs have been devoured...



But then Hoss saves the day. He starts making broth out of bones. We have hundreds of bones stockpiled from the animals we've been hunting. It's not terribly filling but it's better than raw meat and questionable berries.





An artic lion invisibly strikes us just outside the fort. Vitya is badly injured, but we manage to kill it.



Meanwhile, Boontaker finds something very strange while mining for coal. Time will tell if he'll be an asset or not.



Lathanra tries to amputate the remains of William's mangled leg and install a peg leg. It... it goes poorly. She accidentally cuts his dick off. The turtle who lost his penis turned out to be a dark omen. He doesn't take it very well.







It barely gets warm enough to start growing crops.



The volcanic ash that was blocking the sun disappears and the snow finally starts to melt.



Old Man makes another guest appearance courtesy of Hoss' corpse obsession.



Camille turns 10 and we get to see the growth screen. She becomes a bit passionate about plants, which is great because we need to get a ton of crops sown quickly.



Everything is going horribly. The psychic suppression reduces all men to a crawl, making hunting one animal take several hours, and we only have 3 women. Of those 3, only one has stats helpful for getting food. Hoss is making as much broth as he can but we simply have too many useless eaters. Somehow, a large portion of our mercenary band consists of artists and intellectuals. It doesn't help that we have 27 turtles running around eating crops and whatever game we bring in. The starvation is causing people to give up and leave the colony, though Lemon imprisons them before they can actually leave the map.



In an act of desperation, all of our fighters are sent out at once to shuffle forth hunt different animals. Mercifully, the psychic suppression ends during this. We might not starve to death after all.





This is great, but if we don't stockpile pemmican for the next winter we're completely toast.



William has recovered. Although... there is another peg he can get installed if he'd li-





Oh



Anyway, now that everybody's capable and not trying to desert or kill themselves, we have a problem to deal with. A feralisk clutch mother has been laying eggs at an alarming rate over the past few days. We've been too weak to challenge it until now.



But as we get there, we see that it's fighting a bouldermit.



All hail the bouldermit! We round up the hatchlings and eggs instead. Finally some good luck.





Malaria strikes once again. Nobody looks like they're in too much trouble from it, but that's a lot of people resting and not working.



Boon finally moves out of Vitya's place and Kala sets up a little mineshaft for him in his yard. We'll finally be able to haul up some tougher rocks and get started on proper fortifications.





The west has fallen...



The heroic bouldermit succumbed to an eye infection from his battle. We carve him up and as it turns out there was very little meat on him, but a decent amount of boulder.





Kala has crafted a masterwork! It's... a wooden post we'll be growing grapes or something on.



Then, on the 11th of Aprimay, the largest army we've ever seen from House Hesse strikes.





----------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Will @William get a prosthetic penis replacement? Will @Boontaker specialize in a mining proficiency? Will @lord Stack enact any policies that'll help us get through the next famine? Will we all be put to the sword by this invading force? Probably!



Also, some people have thought up unique titles for themselves based on what they do around the place.

Elias - Military Archivist
Mathieu - Scout
Oscar - Sower
Skull Smasher - Animal Swordsman
Vergil - Corporal
Vitya - Crafting Swordsman

[Boontaker]

Chapter 13: We've Got No Fucking Food


We're completely out of food. The bear that mauled William was butchered and then everybody scrambled for the raw meat. A few people got sick. The turtle eggs have been devoured...



But then Hoss saves the day. He starts making broth out of bones. We have hundreds of bones stockpiled from the animals we've been hunting. It's not terribly filling but it's better than raw meat and questionable berries.





An artic lion invisibly strikes us just outside the fort. Vitya is badly injured, but we manage to kill it.



Meanwhile, Boontaker finds something very strange while mining for coal. Time will tell if he'll be an asset or not.



Lathanra tries to amputate the remains of William's mangled leg and install a peg leg. It... it goes poorly. She accidentally cuts his dick off. The turtle who lost his penis turned out to be a dark omen. He doesn't take it very well.







It barely gets warm enough to start growing crops.



The volcanic ash that was blocking the sun disappears and the snow finally starts to melt.



Old Man makes another guest appearance courtesy of Hoss' corpse obsession.



Camille turns 10 and we get to see the growth screen. She becomes a bit passionate about plants, which is great because we need to get a ton of crops sown quickly.



Everything is going horribly. The psychic suppression reduces all men to a crawl, making hunting one animal take several hours, and we only have 3 women. Of those 3, only one has stats helpful for getting food. Hoss is making as much broth as he can but we simply have too many useless eaters. Somehow, a large portion of our mercenary band consists of artists and intellectuals. It doesn't help that we have 27 turtles running around eating crops and whatever game we bring in. The starvation is causing people to give up and leave the colony, though Lemon imprisons them before they can actually leave the map.



In an act of desperation, all of our fighters are sent out at once to shuffle forth hunt different animals. Mercifully, the psychic suppression ends during this. We might not starve to death after all.





This is great, but if we don't stockpile pemmican for the next winter we're completely toast.



William has recovered. Although... there is another peg he can get installed if he'd li-





Oh



Anyway, now that everybody's capable and not trying to desert or kill themselves, we have a problem to deal with. A feralisk clutch mother has been laying eggs at an alarming rate over the past few days. We've been too weak to challenge it until now.



But as we get there, we see that it's fighting a bouldermit.



All hail the bouldermit! We round up the hatchlings and eggs instead. Finally some good luck.





Malaria strikes once again. Nobody looks like they're in too much trouble from it, but that's a lot of people resting and not working.



Boon finally moves out of Vitya's place and Kala sets up a little mineshaft for him in his yard. We'll finally be able to haul up some tougher rocks and get started on proper fortifications.





The west has fallen...



The heroic bouldermit succumbed to an eye infection from his battle. We carve him up and as it turns out there was very little meat on him, but a decent amount of boulder.





Kala has crafted a masterwork! It's... a wooden post we'll be growing grapes or something on.



Then, on the 11th of Aprimay, the largest army we've ever seen from House Hesse strikes.





----------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Will @William get a prosthetic penis replacement? Will @Boontaker specialize in a mining proficiency? Will @lord Stack enact any policies that'll help us get through the next famine? Will we all be put to the sword by this invading force? Probably!



Also, some people have thought up unique titles for themselves based on what they do around the place.

Elias - Military Archivist
Mathieu - Scout
Oscar - Sower
Skull Smasher - Animal Swordsman
Vergil - Corporal
Vitya - Crafting Swordsman

Take the talents that let's me dig deep into the ground, far deeper than reasonable

[Stack of Turtles]

Which characters are the most useless eaters?

[Boontaker]

Which characters are the most useless eaters?

The turtles

[Acrux]

Which characters are the most useless eaters?

[A Chinese opium den]

The west has fallen...

[Oyster Sauce]

Which characters are the most useless eaters?

Acrux is 1 of the 2 people who can cook without poisoning everyone.

[Stack of Turtles]

Acrux is 1 of the 2 people who can cook without poisoning everyone.

so are you too much of a coward to actually diss anyone or are you gonna answer the question?

[ArcaneLurker]

@Oyster Sauce

We need character usefulness ranking!

[Oyster Sauce]

Acrux - Not as fast at cooking as Hoss, but he's consistent.
Boontaker - Our only real miner. Will be digging up granite for walls if we survive this fight. Essential.
Camille - Low stats since she's 10 years old, but does help sow crops.
Elias - Our primary hunter who can also crank out research
Hoss - Our best shooter and cook.
Iren - Great fighter/builder/crafter.
Kala - Like a better Iren. Amazing builder. Most of the stuff you see was his work.
Lance - Has the maximum melee level and helps sow crops. Good animal skill too. Unfortunately he's slow from being nearly 80 years old.
Lathandra - Our best doctor and surgeon, despite recent mishaps. Also our best planter.
Lemon - Generally does a lot of hauling shit around, keeping torches and furnaces fueled, and is a decent medic. Somehow has a decent melee score from getting into fights all the time.
Manny - Good melee fighter, but we have a surplus of researchers. May have secret powers.
Mathieu - Our master researcher. Helps hunt sometimes.
Oscar - Jack of all trades. Good at fighting. Used to do more construction but after Old Man died he's been spending most of his time sowing crops.
Shani - Does nearly all of the cleaning. Trains animals and makes statues when there's an opportunity.
Skull Smasher - Cuts off heads and tames beasts.
Stack - Solid builder and crafter. Junk in a fight, but he shows up. Can inspire people with his words.
Vergil - Best social score which helps with trading and prisoners (if we ever end up taking any). Good fighter and researcher.
Vitya - Good fighter who's been cranking out all of our armor. If we survive this battle with most of our limbs intact, it'll be because of him.
William - Good fighter and nothing else. Well, at least he was before he lost two extremities.
Wolfie - Hauls and cleans. Has a few abilities that she can use to defend herself.

[ArcaneLurker]

[Oyster Sauce]

Chapter 14: The Battle For The HQ


The enemy has 22 armored fighters and a dozen or so freaky looking enemies, so we're going to immediately concede everything outside and fight inside of the fort

Everybody is ordered inside. Spots are assigned to drag the wounded to in the throne room behind cover. The chapel is converted into a brig so we can drag anyone who has a mental break to safety.



The first casualty is Tortoise 9, whose head is instantly destroyed by a warhammer.



Everybody gets into position. Lemon and Lathandra are ready to grab anyone who gets cut down and patch them up. Even Boontaker has to be ready to rotate into position should the rest of his flank fall.



Shani is the only one unable to get inside due to food poisoning, so she shelters in a nearby home. Good luck, Shani!



The river to the south-east is crossed. Another tortoise is slain and torches are being thrown.



Moments before the first wave arrives, Wolfie runs out and sprays poison near the entrance. Lance breaks formation to go kill a child, and is imprisoned by Lemon. Great timing, Lance.



A bolt to the leg from Elias sends the first enemy running. Lil' Rusty is not in a great position.



The first blows in melee are exchanged. Kala delivers a nice stab to the head, but receives a morning star to his penis in return.



Our own warbeasts tie the enemy up while the crossbowmen hopefully fire past them.



Noon Eat All makes a valiant stand against the enemy at the main gate. He ties them up long enough to build up toxin exposure on many of them, but is eventually overwhelmed and his head is devoured by an ironhusk beetle. Some enemies head around the side, others are starting fires all around us.



They start pushing inside. Kala, who had to replace Lance earlier, has a leg pulverized by the same guy who slaughtered Tortoise 9. Lathandra runs in to pull him out. Skull Smasher takes a blow to the head and is knocked out, but otherwise only has minor wounds.



Elsewhere, the forge is being burned. Somehow their own megasloth was caught up in the flames.



Lemon drags Skull Smasher out of the way. Manny kills one, and Vergil sends another's head flying. It's hard to tell in this clusterfuck, but there are 12 human enemies pushing in at the moment.



Manny tags Iren in and begins invoking some dark magic. Seconds later, dead fighters and tortoises alike rise up and start attacking our foes. Mathieu nearly loses his head (his neck had 1/25hp!) and falls back to the throne room.



Acrux collapses from being obese. Iren loses a toe and take a pike through his left arm. William the Penisless fights valiantly for a woman.



The throne room situation.



Boontaker loses a leg and is pulled back by Elias. Iren is buried in bodies, people are getting stabbed left and right.



It's pure chaos at this point. Elias was skewered when he came back to the fight. Skull Smasher woke up and charged into the fray with Iren's fallen falchion. A friendly wizard miles away from here teleports all of the dead/dying animals outside of the gate so we can kind of see what's going on.





At long last the remained of House Hesse breaks into a rout. They grab their wounded and try to get away. Our guys who didn't get too badly hurt pursue.





During clean up, Skull Smasher obtains the Super Immune trait from fighting off malaria while cutting guys up. He already has the Strong Constitution trait, so it seems safe to assume that disease isn't going to do him in.



Aftermath of the battle. Two incredibly well armored enemies stayed behind and tied us up while the others escaped. William is bandaging one enemy for capture, while another that Hoss grabbed is lying in a cell. The blue haired idiot trying to crawl to safety had both of his eyes cut out and his jaw completely shattered by one of William's strikes. He's not worth much to us alive.



Here's who we were able to capture by the way. We'll see @lord Stack decide their fate soon.











---------------------------------------------------------------------------




Could have been a whole lot worse. We lost a few legs due to not having gotten around to making leg armor, but you'll notice that everybody (except Manny) had a helmet we didn't lose a single head. That's progress if you ask me.

[Luckmann]

The turtle eggs have been devoured...

Old Man makes another guest appearance courtesy of Hoss' corpse obsession.

At this rate, Old Man is going to be the first victim of necromancy, isn't he?

It doesn't help that we have 27 turtles running around eating crops and whatever game we bring in.

It may be time to consider... radical solutions.

Lathandra tries to amputate the remains of William's mangled leg and install a peg leg. It... it goes poorly. She accidentally cuts his dick off. The turtle who lost his penis turned out to be a dark omen. He doesn't take it very well.

Now, now, I want it to be documented that the best chiurgeons are those that can perform their duties with swiftness, and while the loss of penises can be regrettable, he is alive and well and can be secure in that he is in the hands of an expert physician. That just cut his dick off.

Oh

I hope he'll be happy with his re-assignment surgery. We'll just take some skin from his leg and tuck it into a neat flesh-tube. With the wonders of modern medicine, everyone can have the opportunity to be a horror beyond human comprehension!

Edit: Shit, I didn't see the new update.