How do you become or stay interested in something?

[WhiteShark]

I posted this in another thread recently:

Reviews rarely do me any good because they're not what determines whether a game catches my interest. I've probably played more games because of off-hand references in 4chan posts than I have because of reviews.

The reason is that I have a problem: my interests are mercurial and I have no control over them. Furthermore, when something does catch my interest, I want to do that thing to the exclusion of all else; it temporarily comes to dominate all my time and energy. The internet tells me this is called 'hyperfixation'.

The hyperfixation doesn't bother me. I like being focused. What bothers me is that my obsessions, often with little warning and after only a few weeks, end suddenly and nigh completely. Even if I consciously want to continue, my subconscious will shrug at the thought and rebel if I try. I know from experience that it goes in cycles and that I will eventually come around, but this can take months, or even years. It makes it very difficult to pursue any long term project.

I could give many examples, but to describe just one: last year my dormant interest in tabletop RPGs suddenly roared back into life. I spent weeks reading books and blogs on design and gamemastering, researching different game systems, writing macros for MapTool, searching out digital tools and mapmaking software, writing houserules, brainstorming a setting, generating token art with AI, and so on. Then, after real life circumstances kept me occupied for a few days, it was over: my interest vanished as quickly as it had come and I haven't touched any of it since.

Hence, my question: how do you deliberately cultivate or maintain an interest in something?

[OnTilt]

The hyperfixation doesn't bother me. I like being focused. What bothers me is that my obsessions, often with little warning and after only a few weeks, end suddenly and nigh completely. Even if I consciously want to continue, my subconscious will shrug at the thought and rebel if I try. I know from experience that it goes in cycles and that I will eventually come around, but this can take months, or even years. It makes it very difficult to pursue any long term project.

I'm curious too because I have this exact issue. Exactly. It's led to me being mostly useless in a really wide range of hobbies.

[gerey]

Hence, my question: how do you deliberately cultivate or maintain an interest in something?

I think that the issue is that we are simply getting old, so very few things feel new and fresh enough to justify long-term investment.

There's really no cure for it, I think.

[WhiteShark]

I think that the issue is that we are simply getting old, so very few things feel new and fresh enough to justify long-term investment.

Perhaps that contributes, but I've been this way for a long time. The first instance I can point to was in elementray school during a brief period in which I thought I was done with video games. That didn't last, obviously.

[A Chinese opium den]

I feel like I can maintain interest in something as long as I am engaged in doing it with a group that's invested in whatever it is, the trouble is that if a few people lose interest the whole thing can just die out even if your still interested. Alone its almost entirely up to whether or not I can make it into a habit and make sure intentionally to protect that habit from being interfered with by other time obligations or competing interests so the point where you get bored of it comes as far down the line as possible. When it comes to cultivating interest deliberately in something you want to like I think its basically impossible, or at least a complete waste of time. If it just doesn't have the autistic interest from the start the closest you can get is doing it as a task/chore, which is fine for work or other obligations you have to do but it just seems stupid attempt to try and trick yourself into wanting to do something as a hobby that you don't just want to without being coerced.

[Nammu Archag]

I posted this in another thread recently:

Reviews rarely do me any good because they're not what determines whether a game catches my interest. I've probably played more games because of off-hand references in 4chan posts than I have because of reviews.

The reason is that I have a problem: my interests are mercurial and I have no control over them. Furthermore, when something does catch my interest, I want to do that thing to the exclusion of all else; it temporarily comes to dominate all my time and energy. The internet tells me this is called 'hyperfixation'.

The hyperfixation doesn't bother me. I like being focused. What bothers me is that my obsessions, often with little warning and after only a few weeks, end suddenly and nigh completely. Even if I consciously want to continue, my subconscious will shrug at the thought and rebel if I try. I know from experience that it goes in cycles and that I will eventually come around, but this can take months, or even years. It makes it very difficult to pursue any long term project.

I could give many examples, but to describe just one: last year my dormant interest in tabletop RPGs suddenly roared back into life. I spent weeks reading books and blogs on design and gamemastering, researching different game systems, writing macros for MapTool, searching out digital tools and mapmaking software, writing houserules, brainstorming a setting, generating token art with AI, and so on. Then, after real life circumstances kept me occupied for a few days, it was over: my interest vanished as quickly as it had come and I haven't touched any of it since.

Hence, my question: how do you deliberately cultivate or maintain an interest in something?

I'm the same way so I just don't bother trying to stay focused and just allow myself to optimize whatever I'm currently into. Whenever I see a game I'd like to play, it goes on a list with a few details about it, and then whenever I feel a certain itch I can consult my list and finally play said game.

Since I like to write/worldbuild in my free time, this becomes both a blessing and a curse. I'll have a dream, wake up and write as much as I can down and then write thousands of words based on that inspiration and others before eventually getting burnt out and not touching it for months. Then something happens that spikes my interest again and since I keep good records of it all, I can just go back to where I left off and redraft and expand what I had. Instead of forcing myself to work on something I don't want to do, I just let it happen naturally and then go all out when I'm finally in the mood.

Keeping things organized really helps me manage it into something coherent

[wndrbr]

The most difficult part is to overcome the initial hurdle of starting to play/watch/read something. Once you actually start and do that for a few hours, it becomes easy to continue doing this.

I don't know what to do if you suddenly lose interest, though. It happened to me before, and I never managed to become interested in something again. The best thing is to avoid getting sidetracked, I guess. Or find a company of people with similar interests who will constantly bugger you.

[gerey]

I don't know what to do if you suddenly lose interest, though. It happened to me before, and I never managed to become interested in something again. The best thing is to avoid getting sidetracked, I guess. Or find a company of people with similar interests who will constantly bugger you.

I find myself often playing a game to the midpoint, or close to the conclusion, and then just stop playing it, only to loop back months or years later (having forgotten most of controls and mechanics) and having to restart, only for the same thing to happen again.

Like I said in the chat, my guess is that games simply grow stale after you've played enough of them, since so many games are the result of an iterative, industry-wide process.

[A Chinese opium den]

Ah I am retarded so upon further thought I think I forgot the biggest factor for maintaining a fixation, anything I'm constantly coming back to after hiatuses or have never dropped all across the board has very tangible feelings of perfecting them at the core. Fighting games, or physical exercise would be the most obvious examples, but I would even put things like making tabletop rulesets that are perfect then never using them or the urge to mod a game to exactly how you want it only to not have the urge to play it under this category. Its like completing a game you love for the narrative or novel/movie series that has definitively ended, the only reason to go back to it is nostalgia which is a completely different type of interest all together. Basically I think the only things that can really strongly keep my interest have to have the possibility of getting better at them or at least bringing it closer to the perfect version.

[WhiteShark]

@Nammu Archag, that's very similar to how I operate currently. I have an Obsidian vault with notes on all sorts of things in it. It's true that it means I don't have to force anything and I can pick up where I left off, at least in theory. The problem is that I feel I cannot bring anything to completion through this method except the occasional game playthrough. It feels more like a record of unfulfilled ambitions than a work in progress.

@Friend with a username that doesn't pop up when you write @, your suggestions seem like they have a lot of potential. I know the only reason I started Starwind was because it was the Adventurer's Guild game, which points to a shared interest being a stronger motivator than an individual interest. The idea of assigning and protecting a time slot also rings true to me. Competitive online games and studying Japanese are just about the only projects I've successfully pursued long term, and the commonality between the two is that I rarely skipped a day.

@gerey suggested in IRC, regarding games, to just pick one and 'YOLO' it, even if you're not in the mood, because it becomes easier after you overcome the initial unfamiliarity. I've had mixed results with that approach, but it sometimes works.

This has been helpful so far. I still want to figure out how to develop new and rekindle old interests. There are some things I want to do or feel I ought to like doing but simply can't. I know I could just go with the flow, and I have, for lack of choice, but if there's a way to control it, I want to find out what it is.

[wndrbr]

my guess is that games simply grow stale after you've played enough of them, since so many games are the result of an iterative, industry-wide process.

I don't think that's it.

I tried switching to foreign media and unfamiliar genres, i.e. stuff I never read/watch/played before, but it didn't help.

[WhiteShark]

I find myself often playing a game to the midpoint, or close to the conclusion, and then just stop playing it, only to loop back months or years later (having forgotten most of controls and mechanics) and having to restart, only for the same thing to happen again.

This is precisely one of the things I wish to avoid. I stopped playing Octopath Traveler at the superboss and I badly want to finish it because it sits at the back of my mind, taunting me, but I haven't found the motivation to do so.

[gerey]

This is precisely one of the things I wish to avoid. I stopped playing Octopath Traveler at the superboss and I badly want to finish it because it sits at the back of my mind, taunting me, but I haven't found the motivation to do so.

Just sit down on the weekend and force yourself to boot the game, and if that doesn't make you play it, force yourself to play the game for 30 minutes. Sounds sad that you need to do that, but overcoming the initial reluctance to commit usually is the biggest hurdle.

[Oyster Sauce]

I find myself often playing a game to the midpoint, or close to the conclusion, and then just stop playing it, only to loop back months or years later (having forgotten most of controls and mechanics) and having to restart, only for the same thing to happen again.

This is precisely one of the things I wish to avoid. I stopped playing Octopath Traveler at the superboss and I badly want to finish it because it sits at the back of my mind, taunting me, but I haven't found the motivation to do so.

Play it right now or you're gay + your entire family dies

[Nooneatall]

If it's work or a responsibility: I have to do it and will do it.
If it's a fun hobby: who gives a shit, pick up and put down at all. I don't need to finish a game, book, movie, or show if it's boring. I go to work to do work, I don't need my hobbies to feel like work.

[Boontaker]

I find myself often playing a game to the midpoint, or close to the conclusion, and then just stop playing it, only to loop back months or years later (having forgotten most of controls and mechanics) and having to restart, only for the same thing to happen again.

This is precisely one of the things I wish to avoid. I stopped playing Octopath Traveler at the superboss and I badly want to finish it because it sits at the back of my mind, taunting me, but I haven't found the motivation to do so.

The best test of a good game, did you actually finish it.

[Nooneatall]

I find myself often playing a game to the midpoint, or close to the conclusion, and then just stop playing it, only to loop back months or years later (having forgotten most of controls and mechanics) and having to restart, only for the same thing to happen again.

This is precisely one of the things I wish to avoid. I stopped playing Octopath Traveler at the superboss and I badly want to finish it because it sits at the back of my mind, taunting me, but I haven't found the motivation to do so.

The best test of a good game, did you actually finish it.

Exactly this, I never had to "force" myself to get through FF3, Zelda Alttp, kotor, or a ck2 campaign

[Xenich]

I posted this in another thread recently:

Reviews rarely do me any good because they're not what determines whether a game catches my interest. I've probably played more games because of off-hand references in 4chan posts than I have because of reviews.

The reason is that I have a problem: my interests are mercurial and I have no control over them. Furthermore, when something does catch my interest, I want to do that thing to the exclusion of all else; it temporarily comes to dominate all my time and energy. The internet tells me this is called 'hyperfixation'.

The hyperfixation doesn't bother me. I like being focused. What bothers me is that my obsessions, often with little warning and after only a few weeks, end suddenly and nigh completely. Even if I consciously want to continue, my subconscious will shrug at the thought and rebel if I try. I know from experience that it goes in cycles and that I will eventually come around, but this can take months, or even years. It makes it very difficult to pursue any long term project.

I could give many examples, but to describe just one: last year my dormant interest in tabletop RPGs suddenly roared back into life. I spent weeks reading books and blogs on design and gamemastering, researching different game systems, writing macros for MapTool, searching out digital tools and mapmaking software, writing houserules, brainstorming a setting, generating token art with AI, and so on. Then, after real life circumstances kept me occupied for a few days, it was over: my interest vanished as quickly as it had come and I haven't touched any of it since.

Hence, my question: how do you deliberately cultivate or maintain an interest in something?

Depends on the person, and the cause will vary, but do you exercise regularly? Is your diet balanced (ie are you getting the right nutrients?). I know it seems trivial, but a lack of focus can be attributed to this to some extent. Also, remember that contrary to mainstream claims, you need at least 20 mins a day in the actual sun (even if it is cloudy) as that gives the body important vitamins that promote health and will cure many minor ailments. Also, give up processed foods, completely. The additives they put in those foods have been shown to cause a lot of these "lack of concentration" issues and this also occurs in various medicines as well, so be careful on what you put in your body as this will have an effect on you.

Do you moderate with other non-like activities? I noticed that if I do other things, completely different in focus, I am able to find more enjoyment in various things on the other end of the spectrum. If I find myself dragging with intellectual activities like programming, gaming, etc... I balance out with hunting, fishing, biking, running, welding, wood working, gardening, cooking, etc...

In some cases, for me personally, discipline to a task sees me through to interest. There are some things I know I like, or have an interest, but can't seem to retain focus in it, but... if I discipline myself to the task, the interest comes back as I force my focus to the goals of whatever interest (ie seeing it through).

Another possible issue is a lack of organization. Sometimes, setting goals, outlining your process to those goals in a format that provides stages of completion, etc... can help to keep you interested in various things. The benefit of this is that even if you decide to set aside the goal, you have an clear outline as to what you wanted to achieve so coming back to it at a later date makes is much easier for you to continue where you left off.

Anyway, just thoughts, may not be your issue, who knows... like I said, it can be a lot of things.

[Xenich]

I find myself often playing a game to the midpoint, or close to the conclusion, and then just stop playing it, only to loop back months or years later (having forgotten most of controls and mechanics) and having to restart, only for the same thing to happen again.

This is precisely one of the things I wish to avoid. I stopped playing Octopath Traveler at the superboss and I badly want to finish it because it sits at the back of my mind, taunting me, but I haven't found the motivation to do so.

The best test of a good game, did you actually finish it.

Not always. Each person is different and plays games for specific "enjoyment" factors that are dependent on various circumstances. For me, it is hard to go back and replay a game I already played a lot of even if I love the game completely. It is like a book I have mostly read; I read a few pages in and realize most of the story again and it seems like a waste to read it again, but I don't remember enough of the specifics to jump to where I left off and continue on.

Also, in some games that take a lot of rule learning initially (RPG setup of characters, Strategy game interface/rules, or action games that take a level of comfort to be obtained for play) can cause me to lose interest, but... if I push myself past that I can often lead to me greatly enjoying the game and that whole process that I Initially found as an obstacle turns out to be an enjoyment of in simple accomplishment of the over all process of completing the game.

Though I will say when I get to the point where no games are interesting to me, usually it is my subconscious telling me to move on to completely unrelated things, that it is time to give up gaming for a while and come back to it at a later time.

[Anon]

Human naturally isn't meant to enjoy repetitively doing the same thing unless you're an autist. If you suddenly lose interest in something it just means your brain got too used to this content and isn't releasing enough dopamine anymore and is begging for diversification. You need to do some other sort of activities like going to the gym, to the beach, have sex, post shit in forums (personal favorite) etc.

[Nemesis]

Furthermore, when something does catch my interest, I want to do that thing to the exclusion of all else; it temporarily comes to dominate all my time and energy. ... What bothers me is that my obsessions, often with little warning and after only a few weeks, end suddenly and nigh completely.

It sounds like you burn out easily. Allocating smaller chunks of time to that interest could help prolong it.

[Xenich]

Human naturally isn't meant to enjoy repetitively doing the same thing unless you're an autist. If you suddenly lose interest in something it just means your brain got too used to this content and isn't releasing enough dopamine anymore and is begging for diversification. You need to do some other sort of activities like going to the gym, to the beach, have sex, post shit in forums (personal favorite) etc.

Ehh, sex is a bad one. Its a "drug" response, as an activity, not a healthy pastime as a focus.

[Anon]

Human naturally isn't meant to enjoy repetitively doing the same thing unless you're an autist. If you suddenly lose interest in something it just means your brain got too used to this content and isn't releasing enough dopamine anymore and is begging for diversification. You need to do some other sort of activities like going to the gym, to the beach, have sex, post shit in forums (personal favorite) etc.

Ehh, sex is a bad one. Its a "drug" response, as an activity, not a healthy pastime as a focus.

True. It isn't meant to be a "hobby" indeed.

[Manny V]

Yeah, I have the classic problem of 'eager to pick up and learn the game/new aspect of a game, play for a few weeks, get burnt out and never finish it/achieve certain goals(in sandbox type games)'

Like with Total War Warhammer i'll play a new race for the first time or revisit one i didn't play enough of, go full OCD autismo mode reading all the lore and learning the ins and outs of their mechanics, then when i get like 50+ turns into their campaign i just can't be fucked anymore and it becomes a chore to keep going

[Vergil]

For me to pick up something new it typically has to have some familiar element, appealing visual style or be a part of a franchise I already like to get me to pick it up. At this point I have so many past games, movies, books etc. that I enjoy that I can easily rotate them out and be fine forever and the quality of new stuff that comes out is so low I'm more likely to revist old things than want to dive into something brand new for the sake of it and be inevitably disappointed by how bland and shit it is.

[Xenich]

I find sometimes if the game is extremely complicated (don't get me wrong, complex games are better IMO), I tend to weight my desire to put effort into it versus doing something that produces actual results such as learning a new skillset. Though when I really want to get into a game and have it last a long time, I tend to select the ones that have extremely high knowledge requirements.

[Anon]

The best game for gaming addicts is OSRS btw. There are AFK passive skilling activities for when you don't feel like playing or wants to focus on something else like work etc, and very intensive activities when you want to focus in the game. It's also an eternal grind where you won't ever really be done with it even if you played 18 hours a day for decades. Best game can't recommend it enough.

[WhiteShark]

@Xenich

• Exercise: goes in cycles like everything else.
• Diet: not balanced, but I can't eat most things because of digestion problems. No processed foods, though.
• Sunlight: I've gotten very bad about this. I used to walk every day but I don't like walking around here so I hardly leave the house. Need to remove the bug screen from my window so I can sunbathe on the roof.
• Balance: no, that's part of the hyperfixation thing. It's difficult to even want to go to bed, let alone spend hours on some other activity.
• Discipline & Organization: lacking, to say the least. I can't maintain much of a routine for health reasons. This includes my sleep schedule, which you didn't ask about but is in the same vein.

All of those would be good things to improve. The thing is, the majority of those are contributing factors at most, for even when I was doing better in all these areas, my interests still went through cycles, as described in the OP. The one thing I've probably never tried is 'balancing' my hobbies, so maybe it is a form of burnout, as @Nemesis suggests, and balancing would help.

...Actually, I am suddenly remembering some neurologist's advice I received second hand from a friend about not spending too long on any given activity in a row because even productive things will overstimulate you and then lead to burnout. Maybe we're on to something here.

[Gregz]

The real answer to this question is that it's impossible.

[Anon]

@Xenich

• Exercise: goes in cycles like everything else.
• Diet: not balanced, but I can't eat most things because of digestion problems. No processed foods, though.
• Sunlight: I've gotten very bad about this. I used to walk every day but I don't like walking around here so I hardly leave the house. Need to remove the bug screen from my window so I can sunbathe on the roof.
• Balance: no, that's part of the hyperfixation thing. It's difficult to even want to go to bed, let alone spend hours on some other activity.
• Discipline & Organization: lacking, to say the least. I can't maintain much of a routine for health reasons. This includes my sleep schedule, which you didn't ask about but is in the same vein.

All of those would be good things to improve. The thing is, the majority of those are contributing factors at most, for even when I was doing better in all these areas, my interests still went through cycles, as described in the OP. The one thing I've probably never tried is 'balancing' my hobbies, so maybe it is a form of burnout, as @Nemesis suggests, and balancing would help.

...Actually, I am suddenly remembering some neurologist's advice I received second hand from a friend about not spending too long on any given activity in a row because even productive things will overstimulate you and then lead to burnout. Maybe we're on to something here.

Do you work? Never really going outside is a problem and a job that isn't homeoffice helps with that.

Yeah I do recommend seeking a psychiatrist and maybe a psychologist. I have some friends with similar issues that had really great results by taking meds and maybe seeking therapy.

The ideal thing would also be to seek new habits and not staying on a screen for too long but we know things aren't that easy.